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Snakes On A Plane
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snakes on a plane
We thought we were through with the whole Snakes on a Plane thing, we really did, at least until the inevitable publicity assault accompanying the eventual DVD release forced us to relieve the summer's reptiles-on-aircrafts pop culture oversaturation. But now we've just watched this video of the USC marching band's stirring halftime reinterpretation of Cobra Starship's title track from the movie soundtrack, and our old, complicated feelings are stirring again. We suppose that our genuine disappointment that Samuel L. Jackson didn't burst through a paper gate adorned with an albino python, run to the middle of the field, and shout "I want these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking tuba section" into a crimson megaphone is a sign that we still might have some issues to work through. More »
Snakes On A Motherfucking Marching Band
We thought we were through with the whole Snakes on a Plane thing, we really did, at least until the inevitable publicity assault accompanying the eventual DVD release forced us to relieve the summer's reptiles-on-aircrafts pop culture oversaturation. But now we've just watched this video of the USC marching band's stirring halftime reinterpretation of Cobra Starship's title track from the movie soundtrack, and our old, complicated feelings are stirring again. We suppose that our genuine disappointment that Samuel L. Jackson didn't burst through a paper gate adorned with an albino python, run to the middle of the field, and shout "I want these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking tuba section" into a crimson megaphone is a sign that we still might have some issues to work through. More »
snakes on a plane
Director's Crazy Ideas About Killing Off Samuel L. Jackson Get Him Booted From 'Snakes On A Plane'
When Samuel L. Jackson tried to explain how David R. Ellis came to replace original Snakes on a Plane director Ronny Yu on on The Daily Show before the film's release, he cited Yu's insistence on doing an over-the-top, Hong Kong-inspired version as the reason he left the project. But as it turns out, Yu's ideas on who should be the real star of the movie, its expletive-loving, cobra-strangling hero, or its cabin full of fake-titty-biting reptiles, didn't fly with the studio paying Jackson surviving-to-the-final-credits money. Says The Slug: More »
snakes on a plane
SnakesInATheaterGate: Hoax Or Cover-Up?
AZCentral.com reports that yesterday's story about the two rattlesnakes allegedly released into a Phoenix theater showing Snakes on a Plane may have been a hoax. According to police, a blog-savvy serpent probably tried to catch a screening on its own to make up its simple, reptilian mind about whether the film's pre-release hype was warranted, and may not have been let loose into the theater by overzealous fans eager to help their fellow moviegoers replicate the claustrophobic terror felt by the fictional passengers of South Pacific Air Flight 121: More »
snakes on a plane
New Line Enters Second, Deadly Phase Of Its 'Snakes on a Plane' Marketing Plan
Snakes on a Plane's disappointing™ inability to reach the $20 million opening weekend milestone triggered New Line's desperation "Snakes in a Theater" viral marketing campaign, in which a variety of deadly serpents will be released into multiplexes in underperforming regions, building the kind of word-of-mouth buzz that the studio wasn't able to translate from internet obsession into ticket sales. No one was bitten by the two rattlesnakes employed in the campaign's initial run at the AMC Desert Ridge in Phoenix, a misfire that New Line officials blamed on the exhibitor's failure to saturate its popcorn in the snake-provoking pheromones with which it was provided, but promised "six to ten" in-theater fatalities by the film's crucial second-weekend screenings. More »
snakes on a plane
Snakes On Some Excuses About Unfair Expectations
If you're looking for someone to feel sorry for in the aftermath of Snakes on a Plane's disappointing™ opening weekend, we ask that you look past Samuel L. Jackson, whose Snakes on Two Planes sequel pay raise has been imperiled, or the bloggers who may never again find themselves flown out to fancy Hollywood premieres and handed expensive electronic tokens of appreciation for their viral hitmaking ability, and consider doling out some compassion for New Line's president of distribution, who had to face the media after a disputed $15 million first-place showing: More »
box office
Monday Morning Box Office: Snakes On A Bomb
There's no point in sugar-coating it, so we'll just come out and say it: The box office numbers don't love you anymore.More »
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Short Ends: Special Premiere Day All "Snakes on a Plane" Edition!
· Our friends at the WOW Report are having way too much fun with some rubber reptiles, but their Snakes on Cocaine is pretty inspired. Andy Dick totally wants in on that party.Collider.com's Mr. Beaks, the guy who introduced us to the magic that is Snakes on a Plane with his game-changing "You either you want to see that, or you don't" interview with Samuel L. Jackson, reviews the movie.
SoaP arts and crafts time! Make your own Snakes on a Paper Airplane.
The LAT's Richard Rushfield tells the uplifting tale of the MySpace blogger who overcame New Line's crushing discrimination against female SoaP fans without vanity URLs to finally get invited to the premiere at 10:30 p.m. the night before it occurred. There are happy endings in Hollywood after all.
snakes on a plane
Critics On A 'Snakes On A Plane': A Review Round-Up
As with any self-respecting bad movie, there were no advance press screenings of Snakes on a Plane, so we've had to wait until today to read the reviews. Rotten Tomatoes currently gives it a respectable Tomatometer score of 65%—you wouldn't want any B-horror flick clocking any higher—with a predictable lack of consensus over whether it's so [pick one from column A: good/bad/overhyped] it's [bad/good/overrated]. Here's a round-up of what some of them are saying—and because we are dealing in the always confusing "qualities of badness," we'll also clearly denote whether the reviewer was trying to be positive or negative with their put-downs in each instance: More »
snakes on a plane
Defamer Premiere Report: The Inevitable 'Snakes On A Plane' Write-Up
We begin our report about last night's Snakes on a Plane premiere at the Chinese Theatre, held back by New Line until the very last possible minute to prevent critics from having uncharitable opinions about a movie whose pre-release hype became so overwhelming that the mere mention of the title could induce grand mal seizures in anyone in possession of a valid press credential, with a disclaimer: After almost exactly a year of writing about this movie and its unstoppable march across the internets, our weariness of various combinations of the words "motherfucking," "snakes," and "plane" may have lowered our expectations to an absurdly low point. All we wanted from the 'Lil Airborne Reptilian Infestation Movie That Could was for at least one guy to have his genitals fanged-up while in the process of bodily waste elimination, and God bless their pandering little hearts, they delivered the mandatory junk-chomping scene with cynical aplomb. Once that lone condition was satisfied, we were more than happy to laugh at lines of dialogue both intentionally and accidentally hilarious, hurl ourselves forward in our seat with delight when the areola on a bare, surgically enhanced breast became a targeting mechanism for a mamba strike, and generally stop giving a shit about how someone might smuggle several hundred angry predators aboard a red-eye even with the aid of the most corrupt of airport security regimes. Motherfucking snakes were on the motherfucking plane (see how easy it is to fall back into it?), they were biting everything in sight, and that was enough for us, as we are constitutionally incapable of not enjoying a well-executed fake-titty attack. Call us easy to please or New Line Kool-Aid chuggers, but we can't see any reason why anyone who would be interested in the film based on the title alone shouldn't get a little drunk and watch Samuel L. Jackson shout expletives while he carries out his snake-elimination duties. That's all we can muster by way of a review. More »
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Short Ends: Snakes On A Cake
· Come on, you already know the words, so say it with us: "I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking cake!"Paris Hilton and the Wiggles turned out for People Who Amuse Those With The IQ Of A Five-Year-Old Day on the Today Show, inspiring the WOW Report to mash-up both appearances into a single segment.
"Kev-IN! How many times I gotta tell you that after I drop the baby, you can't wash off his head wound in the shark tank?!"
JonBenet Ramsey killer John Mark Karr has a MySpace page. Now why would a guy who likes to prey on children possibly want to hang around on MySpace?
· Finally, a Mel Gibson t-shirt with a pleasing design.
· Sweaty, potty-mouthed oil heir Brandon Davis is still dining out on the "firecrotch" thing. It's probably time for him to move on to slandering pubic hair of a different color and prove he's not just a one-hit wonder.
snakes on a plane
Say what you will about Samuel L. Jackson, but he's really committed himself to selling Snakes on a Plane. While many members of his trade would now have a dead-eyed, faraway look after weeks of being on the messy end of countless press junket bukkake sessions, Jackson brought what seemed like genuine enthusiasm to his Daily Show appearance last night in pimping his airborne reptilian wares, even inducing a giddy stream of "motherfuckers" from Jon Stewart. But easily our favorite part of the interview comes toward the end of the above clip, in which [SPOILER ALERT] Jackson, who's never met a paycheck he didn't like, reveals he doesn't die in the movie, then nearly defecates with glee at the thought of the negotiations for his sequel contract—he knows he's going to get paid when New Line comes calling on Sunday to sign him up for Snakes on Two Planes and Snakes on a Space Shuttle in 3D. More »
Samuel L. Jackson Can Already Smell The 'Snakes On A Plane' Sequel Money
Say what you will about Samuel L. Jackson, but he's really committed himself to selling Snakes on a Plane. While many members of his trade would now have a dead-eyed, faraway look after weeks of being on the messy end of countless press junket bukkake sessions, Jackson brought what seemed like genuine enthusiasm to his Daily Show appearance last night in pimping his airborne reptilian wares, even inducing a giddy stream of "motherfuckers" from Jon Stewart. But easily our favorite part of the interview comes toward the end of the above clip, in which [SPOILER ALERT] Jackson, who's never met a paycheck he didn't like, reveals he doesn't die in the movie, then nearly defecates with glee at the thought of the negotiations for his sequel contract—he knows he's going to get paid when New Line comes calling on Sunday to sign him up for Snakes on Two Planes and Snakes on a Space Shuttle in 3D. More »
madonna
Madonna Finally Finds Way To Hijack 'Snakes On A Plane' Buzz
This afternoon's entertainment news headlines on the CNN.com homepage seem to confirm our fears about the current trajectory of Madonna's career: After half-assedly crucifying herself on a bedazzled cross, a desperate-to-shock Madonna really had nowhere to go but in-flight German scat videos. At least the authorities are keeping tabs on her latest attempt at forced outrageousness. More »
snakes on a plane
Snakes On A Dell
You've harassed yourself with the annoying, semi-customizable phone calls, purchased the absurdly expensive jewelry, and are now at a loss about the next step to take in your Snakes on a Plane fandom. Luckily, the marketing department at New Line will leave no promotional opportunity unexploited, and have teamed up with Dell to give you the exciting opportunity to spend $2,000 for a television upon which you may eventually watch director David R. Ellis' DVD featurette admission that nearly all of the film's dialogue was transcribed verbatim from the comment sections of SoaP-obsessed blogs. We're a little disappointed that the studio and the computer manufacturer didn't break new ground in the now-customary realm of product placement, as a climax in which Samuel L. Jackson decides that the only way to get the motherfucking snakes off his motherfucking plane is to detonate a Dell laptop battery and incinerate every last one of the reptilian stowaways seems like a logical extension of the campaign. More »
snakes on a plane
Jackson Getting Really Tired Of These Motherfucking Shampoo Bottles On His Motherfucking Plane
It's really comforting to know that even in these uncertain, pants-crappingly terrifying times, we can always rely on Samuel L. Jackson to ensure our skies are safe from even the most cutting-edge of airborne threats. More »
snakes on a plane
Snakes On A Motherfucking Press Junket
With just a precious few days left in which to overhype Snakes on a Plane before its release next Friday, New Line gave Samuel L. Jackson a break from reading scripts for pre-recorded, semi-personalized Snakes on a Voicemail™ promotions ("Hello...JACK. My good friend...STACEY...tells me that you'd like to take some time away from your job as an...ACTUARY...to go see my new movie, in theaters August 18th!") to spend some time going over his Snakes-related anecdotes with a reporter from Time. We've selected one in which Jackson claims to prepare just as thoroughly for his The Man-level work as he does for the more challenging roles he takes to momentarily drown out the sound of the cash register cha-ching he hears each time he's offered a part in well-paying, "exuberant crap": More »
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Short Ends: Snakes On Your Anytime Minutes
· Here's a surefire way to annoy the special Snakes on a Plane fan in your life: Go to this website and send them a "customized" voice greeting (written, we're pretty sure, by an unpaid intern) from Samuel L. Jackson that contains no use of the word "motherfucking" whatsoever. A potentially decent idea very poorly executed—if you're gonna subject someone to a glorified movie commercial starring Jackson, you at least want their ear to bleed from the profanity.· For a far better abuse of telephone technology, see the Popularity Dialer. [via BB]
For when your other bullshit excuses just don't seem to be working, Dehydration™
NBC decides to incorporate one of YouTube's most exciting features into its traditional broadcasts. We think this one's a winner.
If you didn't get enough of the movie-themed cereals yesterday, here you go.
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