Verne Troyer Accuses Sex Tape Partner of Unsolicited Dwarf Tossing

Allow us to recap the long, strange saga of Verne Troyer and his live-in girlfriend Ranae Shrider: first, there was the sex tape. Then, there were the accusations and overly detailed explanations of the erstwhile Mini-Me's sexual prowess. Now Troyer is accusing Shrider of assaulting him in ways that will no doubt give Mike Myers some new ideas for Austin Powers 4. Says TMZ:

Verne's killer lawyer, Ed McPherson, tells TMZ, "When you pick up a 2'8" human being and throw him to the floor, it hurts."

We're So Excited: Screech Set To Unveil The Sex And Drugs Behind The Scenes Of 'Saved By The Bell'

Verne Troyer's Tribute to Heath Ledger Overshadowed by Potential For Ex-Strangling

Life is rough these days for Verne Troyer, the diminutive, sex-tape-making, back-tax-owing (allegedly), bomb-starring actor whose bout with the tabloids took an introspective turn Tuesday in an interview with E! Denying he had anything to do with the "unauthorized" release of his videotaped tongue-stabbing of ex-girlfriend Ranae Shrider, a sober Troyer inventoried Shrider's motivations for supposedly dropping the tryst at TMZ's doorstep — and, in the process, both defused and started harrowing rumors we could have gone the rest of our lives without conjuring:

And what of claims made by Shrider, like that she nearly drowned the Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me star in a romantic bubble bath?

Did Verne Troyer Sell Off Sex Tape To Help Pay Down $280,000 Tax Debt?

The math is adding up much better today in the Mini-Me Sex Tape "Scandal" that so devastated our frail culture this week, especially now that we're learning more about the $283,000 in taxes that Verne Troyer reportedly owes in California and Michigan. It's kind of a stunning amount in relation to the 32-inch-tall actor, but considering the $20 million lawsuit he's leveled at the part-time porn purveyors at TMZ, at least it looks like he might come out ahead once Uncle Sam gets his cut.

Which, apart from unanswered questions after the jump about Verne's junk, is the most important thing:

Mini-Me Sex Tape Conclusive Proof That Our Civilization Is Doomed

Yes, that's Mini-Me Verne Troyer in a sex tape shot with his former live-in girlfriend at the couple's apartment. A third party has snatched up the tape and although no deal has been made, we hear dealer Kevin Blatt, who brokered the deal for Paris' video, is entertaining a $100k offer from SugarDVD to distribute the nastiness.

Molly McAleer In Sex Tape Shocker

Rumored Britney Spears Sex Tape Features Climactic Cameo By Her Old Friend, The Pink Wig

Most sex tape rumors involving Britney Spears are either too good to be true (Colin Farrell!) or too gross to convince us to want to see them at all (K. Fed). But the latest story from the tabloids is filled with details so plausible (especially considering the then-manic Package's mental state) that we’re not so sure it’s just another fairy tale. As the National Enquirer is reporting (again, don’t judge a supermarket tab’s creds by its cheap cover):

[Adnan Ghalib] is shopping around a sex tape that was filmed during their trip January trip to Mexico...[the tape] will go down as the highest selling porn tape of all time, out selling even Paris Hilton's.

So what could Britney possibly do in the bedroom to top her fellow Bimbo Summit member’s green-eyed appearance in nightmare-vision? The eerily realistic details after the jump.

Yesterday, news broke that an ancient sex tape allegedly showing Marilyn Monroe giving a blowjoy to an unidentified male had not only surfaced, but had also been sold to an anonymous New York collector for $1.5 million. The NY Post's Hasani Gittens broke the story after interviewing Keya Morgan, a memorabilia collector who claims to have brokered the sale of the 15 minute reel. However, what the Post failed to mention in their story is that Morgan is well-known within the tight-knit circle of Marilyn Monroe memorabilia collectors for being a sycophantic, press hungry namedropper (check out his likely self-penned IMDB bio) whose main objective is to promote himself and the Monroe documentary that he is working on. Not only has he been known to casually claim that he has dated both Mariah Carey and Renee Zellweger, he has thus far refused to disclose either the names of either the seller or buyer of the tape; additionally, he has not been able to provide evidence that this alleged sale even occurred.

To that end, Defamer worked with a trio of Marilyn Monroe experts in an effort to get to the bottom of Keya Morgan's outrageous claims. The team of Mark Bellinghaus (one of the foremost Marilyn Monroe experts/collectors in the world), Ernest W. Cunningham (author of The Ultimate Marilyn) and freelance journalist Jennifer J. Dickinson to put together the following piece. It's one of the longer pieces that we have ever published at Defamer, but we think that it's well worth your time. And with that, please enjoy. — MDG

Reported Marilyn Monroe 'French-Type Film' Proves They Don't Make Celebrity Sex Tapes Like They Used To

In the ever-evolving canon of celebrity sex tapes, neither a pseudo-Lindsay Lohan nor a canny Kristin Davis nor anyone since Pamela and Tommy likely have anything on Marilyn Monroe, whom the Post reports today was featured on a newly unearthed stag reel performing oral sex. Or maybe it's Marilyn Monroe. We're not so sure ourselves.

The 15-minute, 16mm film, dated around the early '50s, apparently stars a "smiling" Monroe servicing an anonymous subject; New York memorabilia collector Keya Morgan, who recently sold the movie for $1.5 million, is said to have tracked it down through some investigative work that went all the way through the FBI:

Shakira Takes Celebrity Sex Tape Scandals To Whole New Level: The Threesome

Another week, another sex tape rumor. But unlike the somewhat harmless photos of good girl Kristin Davis that caught our attention a few weeks back, the news that Shakira and boyfriend Antonio de la Rua may have recorded each other Pam-and-Tommy style aboard a yacht sounds a bit racier. As one Spanish radio host put it, "if some of this tape's content would be made public, it could seriously threaten the singer and couple's private life." And aside from the prospect of seeing Shakira's famous curves dancing in dirtier ways we've ever seen, the story itself involves a third (and fourth!) party.

Lohan Sex Tape Non-Scandal Reaches Its Most Scorching Levels Yet, Thanks To Modest British Tabloid

Ever the upstanding arbiters of non-breaking, debunked news, The Sun today is all over The Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape That Wasn't, going as far as to say Lohan so vehemently protested ex-boyfriend Calum Best's (non-)indiscretion in not just one but two aggrieved phone calls. Because that will show him not to do what he, er, didn't:

A source, who overheard the rant, said Lindsay was screaming: I can't believe you would ever f***ing do this to me, I should have listened to everyone. I should never have f***ing trusted you."

Bitter Publicist Crushed As Fake Lohan Sex Tape Denies Calum Best 16th Minute of Fame

Our closely watched forays into Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape Authentication (and Eventual Debunking) elicited a response late Thursday from representatives for Lohan ex Calum Best, whose D-list member was absolutely, positively, most certainly for sure not the one serviced in the discredited cell-phone short. He should be so lucky — or so his handlers say:

Rumored Lohan Sex Tape Conclusively Proves Sex Tape Overkill

Considering the lengths of deduction and investigation we went to when gauging the authenticity of the very real Kristen Davis Sex-Act Souvenir Photo Set, we are tempted to parse every pixel of brand new cell-phone smut attributed to a very grainy Lindsay Lohan and her ex-beau Calum Best. As sex-tape connoisseurs of impeccable taste and refinement, however, we're also tempted to draft legislation making it a capital crime to pass such indistinguishable crap off as the real deal. Help us judge after the jump!

'The Hills' Audrina Patridge Was Young! She Needed The Money!

Three Reasons Why We Think The Kristin Davis Sex Tape Is For Real

The internets were flooded yesterday with screen caps featuring what may or may not be Sex And The City's resident sweetheart/prude giving one very large member a very thorough (and NSFW) blow job using a very long tongue. Naturally, Kristin Davis went into denial mode, claiming the tape was a fake, and even suggesting that the image had been photo-shopped to add in that innocent sparkle in her eyes, the incredibly unique hairline (and hair color), and perfectly manicured eyebrows. After the jump, we provide the photos in question, and make our argument that this is indeed the real Charlotte York-Goldenblatt (some images NSFW), denials or not: