boomp3.com

After the Tuesday night Coldplay concert in Inglewood, the maybe star of Inglorious Bastards Leonardo DiCaprio tried to make a quick exit. Unfortunately for DiCaprio, assortments of photographers were ready to greet him by his luxury car. Like a man whose just been caught cheating, DiCaprio reluctantly admitted that he likes Coldplay, but only "about this much."

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Harrison Ford, Outed by Helen Mirren: "She considered him 'the nicest, sweetest guy you could want to meet. But he can't kiss - he finds it impossible to kiss on screen.' Then, she added: 'He's probably not very good off screen either. It's not just me - other actresses agree. Whenever we get chatting off screen and we get around to talking, we come to the same conclusion.'"

Jason Segal, Outed by Alyson Hannigan: "Alyson refused to kiss him or do any romantic scenes with him, because he smelled like smoke. He thanks her for forcing him to do that because now he not only smells better, he feels better as well."

Orlando Bloom, Outed by Keira Knightley: "Keira Knightley claims Johnny Depp is a better kisser than Orlando Bloom...When quizzed on who she thought was the best kisser out of the two actors, she told InStyle magazine: 'Johnny Depp certainly wasn't bad.' Despite Orlando's gushing praise for Keira's kissing technique, he did admit he found it 'peculiar.'"

Steve Carell, Outed by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I just see Steve Carell's lips. 'So the bottom of a cat's paw - the soft supple part underneath - that's what Steve Carell's lips are like. But his tongue is like kitty cat litter. That's the physical experience.'"

Woody Allen, Outed by Helena Bonham Carter: "He tells you up front certain ways of kissing he does not want. No exchange of liquid is permitted. It can be a bit offensive because he makes no effort at all."

Angelina Jolie, Outed by James McAvoy: "I can tell you what it was like to kiss her on a film set: It was awkward, sweaty and not very nice."

Tom Cruise, Outed by Thandie Newton: "Kissing Tom Cruise was slightly icky and sort of wet. I'd really go home at the end of the day actually moaning about how hot it was and how many times we had to do it."

Victoria Beckham, Outed by Corey Haim: "She does this little grr gnaw thing that felt like a girl gnawing on your lip."

Sienna Miller, Outed by James Franco: "The British beauty's toothache made filming a nightmare. Franco admits filming the scene was far from enjoyable and had to be cut short when his co-star complained. He says, 'I think we kissed once in that film and it wasn't at all intense - there was no rolling around or anything. Sienna's molar was giving her pain so she called the dentist!'"

Leonardo DiCaprio, Outed by Virginie Ledoyen: "I think Leonardo is a nice guy. But I don't want him as a lover. There [was] no honest passion. No real sensitivity in our love scenes. In our underwater love scenes all I could think of was not drowning. I can't even remember his kiss."

[Photo credits: Getty, Wire Girl, Showbiz Spy, Renee Ashley Baker, NetGlimpse, Wireimage]

• JAMES MCAVOY: KISSING ANGELINA JOLIE WAS 'NOT VERY NICE' [ITW]

As the supe tells the magazine's July issue, "We met through a friend who knew us both for a long time. Believe me, I didn't even remember [his picture]. Our friend knew that we would like each other. And we did. So I guess he was right." As if the fact that she couldn't remember who the guy was wasn't insulting enough, her list of Brady's charming attributes is just plain sad: "We have a lot of things in common...he is a really great person. He doesn't have a bad bone in his body...He is a very positive person." Those things in common? Well, Bundchen played volleyball once or twice as a gawky Brazilian teen, and Brady has apparently taught her why "all those guys keep hitting each other" on the football field. If that isn't chemistry, we don't know what it is. But quite frankly? From the sound of it, Gisele would really get a kick out of our Uncle Irving. Sure he's pushing 70, but man is he ever positive and great. Plus? No pregnant fiancee in the closet. We're calling our "guy" and Bundchen's "guy" stat to set those two sure-thing lovebirds up.

[Photo credits: GQ via Egotastic]

• GISELE BUNDCHEN DISHES ON LOVE AND TOM BRADY [People]
• GISELE BUNDCHEN IS TOPLESS, AND BOTTOMLESS IN 'GQ' [Egotastic]

But we digress! DiCaprio's biographical obsessions — from his baby-faced turn as Tobias Wolff (This Boy's Life) to his overbearing Howard Hughes (The Aviator) to his beguiling swindler Frank Abagnale Jr. (Catch Me if You Can) — have us reconsidering his slate of upcoming roles. Is Leo actually determined to spend the next five years portraying video game mavens, ex-presidents, spy novelists and Wall Street crooks? And will they get him any closer to the Oscar such roles seem to court? Follow the jump for our convenient oddsmaking guide to Leo's biopic prospects.

PROJECT: The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt

BACKGROUND: The eldest of DiCaprio's gestating biopics, Roosevelt was announced back in Sept. 2005, with Martin Scorsese set to direct a script based on Edmund Morris's Pulitzer Prize-winning biography. Then they did The Departed and Shutter Island (and announced another collaboration in-between; see below). Roosevelt, meanwhile, remains dead.

OSCAR-PANDERING?: Very much (and very expensively) so, but not any worse than, say, The 11th Hour.

ODDS IT'LL BE MADE WITH LEO: 75-1 before 2012; 50-1 afterward.

PROJECT: The Wolf of Wall Street

BACKGROUND: DiCaprio optioned high-flying (literally — he once piloted his chopper while strung out on coke) finance kingpin Jordan Belfort's rags-to-riches-to-prison memoir before its publication in 2007. Again, Scorsese was touched to direct.

OSCAR-PANDERING?: Leo already did showy with Howard Hughes; the Academy is over it.

ODDS IT'LL BE MADE WITH LEO: 20-1. We're much more interested, though, in whether or not Tommy Chong will play himself as Belfort's real-life cellmate.

PROJECT: Fleming

BACKGROUND: Appian Way last month jumped aboard the biopic of James Bond creator Ian Fleming, which will focus in part on the author's Naval Intelligence background during WWII. DiCaprio is reportedly bringing in a new writer, though, which could mean anything from "Let's play up Fleming's spanking fetish" to "Let's take this off the market just in case."

OSCAR-PANDERING?: Only if Leo masters Fleming's accent and gets to spank Kate Winslet.

ODDS IT'LL BE MADE WITH LEO: 100-1. Seriously — have you ever seen Ian Fleming?

PROJECT: Atari

BACKGROUND: Announced this weekend, DiCaprio signed on to produce and star as Nolan Bushnell, the heartthrob who brought you Pong.

OSCAR-PANDERING?: Only if the Academy remembers Atari is a brand and not Leo's character. The Chuck E. Cheese thing is a problem as well.

ODDS IT'LL BE MADE WITH LEO: 1-4. And Uwe Boll will direct.

• Leonardo DiCaprio to star in 'Atari' [THR]

Back in 1996, the then-very-cool Lemonheads frontman Evan Dando cast Liv as his girlfriend in his film Heavy. After Liv described him as "very cute" in an interview, rumors that the two were playing hanky panky naturally began. And before that, while filming Empire Records in 1995, Liv dated her insanely gorgeous co-star Johnny Whitworth. Finally, Tyler's said to have had an "encounter" with Leonardo Dicaprio in 1998, and of course, she spent three years with the irresistible Joaquin Phoenix. With a rap sheet like that, we have no doubt Liv will be flashing those famous dimples again in no time.

• LIV TYLER SPLITS FROM HUSBAND [Us]

If you saw the preview for The Insider, you pretty much know what most of Body of Lies will be like. It's men under intense pressure shouting at each other over cell phones, usually beginning their speeches with some variant on "Don't fuck with me!" Russell Crowe smugly lectures Leo for most of the movie in speeches like this: "This is the New Model Al Quaeda. [sic] These are the new evolved analog cockroaches. They got in place and waited. This is war. This is not Osama got Lucky on his flying fucking carpet."

The testoster-ensemble is mitigated by agent DiCaprio's naggingly "nymphomaniac" wife back in the States (played by Black Book siren Carice van Houten) and a mysterious "French aid worker" whose vagina apparently doubles as a launching pad for Leo's tender character arc. And while we've stood by Scott through even his most banal transgressions (this story kind of reminds us of Legend, in fact, but without the unicorn), we're a bit nervous about the 70-year-old's chances of finally breaking his awards-season drought with what amounts to a well-tailored Departed Redux. Worse yet, we expect most viewers would agree that the world needs another war-on-terror film like we need Dune re-made by Peter Berg. Wait, what's that? Oh, fuck.

[Photo Credit: Estrenoblog]

• Advance Script Review: Body of Lies [CC2K]

· A tip of the hat to grandma's favorite stories The Young and the Restless, which has just won its incredible 1000th week in the ratings. [Variety]
· Amazingly, Kathy Lee Gifford is in talks to return to morning TV, as co-host of the fourth hour of Today, where she'll be barely tolerated by Matt Laurer and Meredith Vieira, but will find herself eventually befriended by Ann Curry in the lunchroom. [THR]
· Justin Timberlake has teamed with formerly Ben Silverman-pwned, foreign-property-pillaging cash cow Reveille for a U.S. version of hit Peruvian TV show My Problem With Women. Said Timberlake, "I'm famous, so that makes me perfectly qualified to executive produce a TV series. Take it to the bridge!!!" [THR]

· Great news for all those out-of-work actor friends you've been slightly concerned about since they duct-taped themselves inside their homes to explore the medium of peanut-butter-and-Cap'n Crunch sculpture: TV's hiring again, in a pilot casting frenzy. [THR. THR]
· Phil Collins's 18-year-old daughter Lily Collins has been hired by Nickelodeon to "appear in interstitial programming spots airing throughout the day and night." Or, as her father might put it, "I can see Lil' Collins with Squarepants tonight...Oh lord..." (Wow. That was pretty bad.) [THR]
· SNL's return after a three-month strike hiatus brings that show its highest ratings in two years, with their impressions of presidential hopefuls ranging from bang-on (Mike Huckabee as Mike Huckabee) to the desperately in need of fine-tuning (Fred Armisen's Obama). [THR]

· A coup for actors with gigantic eyes: Anime classic Akira gets the big-screen treatment, co-produced by Lionard DiCaprio's production company for Warner Bros. [Variety]
· David Fincher has chosen his next subject to preen over obsessively until just right, then probably get shut out of the Oscars with: Black Hole, the brilliant Charles Burns's graphic novel about a mutating STD spread among teens. This is going to be great. [Variety]
· CBS greenlights two reality show pilots: Splitsville is a "game show for divorcing couples who battle it out for their belongings in a series of competitive challenges," and another, as-yet-untitled project from the makers of Kid Nation, in which cops "help people who have been victims of a crime." [THR]

Creating the "perfect face." (Again.) Their male ideal grafts portions of Damon, Daniel Craig, Leo DiCaprio, Christian Bale, and John Stamos ("You got your C-list chocolate in my A-list peanut butter!"). His female counterpart, meanwhile, blends Katie Holmes, Katherine Heigl, Keira Knightley, Jessica Simpson, and Angelina Jolie. The result: Gay Elvis and, um, a horsier-faced Heigl. Perfection!

• The Perfect Face? [starmagazine.com]

· 20th Century Fox TV handsomely rewards Bones executive producer Hart Hanson for his services, extending his overall deal for three more years. Recognizing that nothing can make a guy feel more loved than getting an eight-figure contract with a strike looming, Hanson gushed, "They've been very good to me and have made me feel important to them." [THR]
· NBC Universal yanks its content from the YouTubes in preparation for its move to similar-sounding video-sharing site Hulu.com. [Variety]

In today's episode: Catherine Keener; Leonardo DiCaprio and Kevin Connolly; Tommy Lee Jones; Jon Voight; Michael Cera and Mandy Moore; Ellen Barkin, Perry Reeves, and Eddie Kaye Thomas; Courteney Cox Arquette, David Arquette, and Powers Boothe; Kirsten Dunst, an Olsen twin, John Hawkes, Dayton Callie, Paula Malcomson, and Garret Dillahunt; Jonah Hill; Nicole Richie and Joel Madden; Adam Levine and Clea DuVall; Seth Green; Tim Meadows; Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart; Vanessa Williams and Rick Fox; Mike Tyson; Valerie Harper; Jeff Gordon, Dominick Dunne, and Rachel Zoe; and Suge Knight.

· Went to the Wilco show last night- 8/29 at the Greek Theater. They played their last song, and I'm walking out of the aisle when this woman barrels down on me obviously in a rush. She apologizes over and over again and calls me sweetheart. I suddenly recognize the distinct voice of Catherine Keener. She apologizes again. Very nice and cool for being a Wilco fan. Love her.

· On Monday night (August 27) - I saw the infamous Leonardo DiCaprio roll in to the Viper Room at about 11:15pm wearing jeans, a black long sleeved shirt and a brown tweed newsboy cap. He was alone.

He watched the band - Blackcowboy - whom he's had perform at events and in a movie he produced.

But then I saw Kevin Connolly running down the strip to meet up with his buddy, Leo.

· It's been the week of middle-aged-transitioning-to-older tough white guy actors. Today (8/30) at Clementine Jon Voight snagged our table as we got up to leave. He was quite smiley and friendly enough for an irascible type. Might need to lay off the facial cosmetic treatments, though; he's looking a little plasticized.

And forgot to report — Tommy Lee Jones walking into Orso this past Sunday around lunchtime.

· Tuesday, Aug 28. Café Stella in Silver Lake: Michael Cera on a romantic dinner date with Mandy Moore. Cripes, you can have Valderrama and Braff, Mandy, but do you really need Cera too? He was supposed to be my boyfriend, but I had the decency to wait until he sprouted some more pube before making my big move.

· at the 8/29 wilco show at the greek theatre... c-level sightings of eddie kaye thomas (american pie epics and fox's unwatchable 'til death) and perry reeves (ari's shrewish wife on entourage). but classing the place up was cougariffic ellen barkin...

· I guess seeing celebs at the Dodgers Dugout Club is like shooting fish in a barrel, but, August 28th game, end of the seventh, we see owner Frank McCourt and a lot of security in the bar and then the front of David Arquette and the back of Courteney Cox Arquette. Boy, is he good looking in person! Courteney, your work here is done.

And as we were leaving, Powers Boothe in the cheaper seats. Do I get any points for that one?

· Tuesday August 28 at Spaceland. Tiny and cute Kirsten Dunst, and an equally tiny but not as cute Olsen twin (God help me, I have no idea which one). They rocked out a bit to King Straggler, but didn't see them after that. It was a benefit for a very cool local theatre company, so thanks Kiki for (most likely inadvertently) supporting the arts! Also many Deadwood/John from Cincinnati alums - since John Hawkes (Sol Starr) is in King Straggler. Dayton Callie, Paula Malcomson, Garret Dillahunt...but this is for "celebrities" not "brilliant semi-recognizable character actors" right?

· 8/27 - Jonah Hill, just standing on the corner of Fairfax and Oakwood near the Out of the Closet thriftstore, using his cell phone. I had the distinct feeling EVERY CAR passing him was going 'hey, it's the kid from Superbad, you know, the one not from Arrested Development' as they drove past this busy corner.

· Out for some Labor Day frozen yogurt to ease the pain of the sweltering heat in the valley, I instantly recognized the easily identifiable tattooed-ness of Joel Madden and then realized that the girl in front of him was Nicole Richie. They were headed into the Coffee Bean next to Studio Yogurt at Laurel Canyon and Ventura. Satisfying some pregnancy cravings?

· Sunday, Aug 26th...A cornucopia of celebrity sightings. Adam Levine and Clea DuVall, both at Mustard Seed Cafe on Hillhurst, dining separately. Levine is hotter than expected, she looks just like she's looked the 9,000 other times I've seen her in Los Feliz. That afternoon at The Grove, saw Tim Meadows on my way into the movies, where I then saw Seth Green (cue the standard: "he's so short!" reaction) at the afternoon showing of Superbad. Post-movie (loved it, btw. Viva Michael Cera), went to Barney's Coop and saw Kirsten Dunst, where the cashier loudly and embarrassingly thanked Dunst for shopping there. Ugh.

· Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart at Cafe Mauro for a late Saturday lunch. With four Hipster friends. They both looked very east coast preppy (baseball hats, chinos, white Ts). But left looking very Hollywood/Bling in a black Caddy DTS with chrome shoes.

· Sunday night/ August 27th- Vanessa Williams and Rick Fox with kids at California Adventure's Vineyard Room restaurant. Rick only person in the room not to get up and watch the Electric Light Parade that passed right in front of the restaurant. Good for them though, even with a divorce keeping family trips for the kids.

· Tough guys like Pinkberry, too! 104 degrees on Thursday 8/30 around noon at Pinkberry in Studio City. Iron Mike Tyson dressed smartly in a fedora and that unmistakable face tattoo. Now my boyfriend can't just say that Pinkberry is "just for chicks".

· Sunday, August 26th. Heading back to LA from Aspen, television's sassiest neighbor from Minneapolis, Rhoda Morgenstern aka Valerie Harper, seated in first class, chatting and laughing with her fellow cabin mates. She looked great however, I was disappointed when she went into the "see me, recognize me" vintage actress routine of gabbing loudly on her Jitterbug and gesticulating wildly outside the terminal while looking for her ride. Simmer down, Rhoda. Simmah down now!

· Aug. 30: Apparently, my last minute, un-planned "quiet date night" at the Chateau was the idea of the day. Also on "dates" were Bungalow regular Dominick Dunne, NASCAR's Jeff Gordon with a woman friend, and Rachel Zoe.

· Wednesday (8/29) - Annoying lunch-time Beverly Center traffic, in line to make a left-turn at 3rd onto La Cienega; I look in my rear-view mirror, it's Suge Knight looking equally pissed in his gleaming off-white custom Land Rover. Needless to say, I made a very quick and efficient left as soon as I got the arrow. As he drove by I was a little surprised he had plates on it, let alone standard issue.

In today's episode: Leonardo Dicaprio, Tobey Maguire, and Avril Lavigne; Halle Berry and Yeardly Smith; Demi Moore; Forest Whitaker; Djimon Hounsou; Dolly Parton; Lily Tomlin and Teller; John Krasinski and Kevin Sussman; Chris O'Donnell; Jason Bateman; Kelis and Nas; Kim Kardashian; Scott Baio; Mike Tyson; Illeana Douglas; Zachary Quinto; Vincent Gallo and Thurston Moore; Andy Dick; Michelle Rodriguez; Michael McDonald and Andrea Bowen.

· 8/22/07 10:05pm - Brentwood - So I'm at Katsuya where on one side of my table is Leo Dicaprio, Tobey Maguire and random actor guy I've seen in some things but have no idea what his name is and on the other side is Avril Lavigne. Leo actually scolded me while I was using my blackberry telling me, "don't use that" pointing to it where I promptly rolled my eyes and kept texting. I guess paranoia is rampant post growing pains. I mean, c'mon no one in the room even looked up from their kiwi-flavored scallops with yuzu vinaigrette at him. I also don't want to point fingers or anything but when my friend went into the one toilet unisex bathroom right after Avril it was totally clogged where my friend came back to our table saying "I'm not getting blamed for that mess." I'd love to see that in US weekly's "they're just like us!" section.

· This may be too late but last Friday, the 17th, my wife and I had the most amazing dinner at La Terza on 3rd street. Dining next to us was Halle Berry with her enormous white male model boyfriend and some rumpled old dude. That would have been amusing, but sitting behind us was none other than the voice of Lisa Simpson, Yeardly Smith. Good thing I spent all that time watching "Herman's Head," or I wouldn't have known what she looked like! Anyway, who cares, the food was out of this world, Gino was in the kitchen and all I could think about while eating the most amazing roasted pork belly was "Trading Places."

· So, today (Aug. 21) I went to see "Superbad" at AMC CC. When I got into the the theatre, I saw that basically 2/3rds of a row was taped off with signs on the chairs reading "reserved for a birthday party." Interesting—the last time I saw seats taped off like that, it was for Bruce Willis & entourage at Pirates 2. My friends and I sat down in the remaining seats in the row. And, sure enough, when the lights went down, in came Demi Moore and the youngest Willis girl and her teen friends. No sign of Ashton or Bruce. When the movie was over, they dashed out so quick before the lights came back on that my friends didn't get to see Demi. At this point, I just want to know what kind of deal the Willis clan has with that theatre...

· On Wed, 8/15, lunch hour rush at Jerry's Deli across from Cedars, I alerted my out of town guests to keep their eyes peeled for celebs on lunch meetings. We were about to leave, and Forest Whitaker rolled up to the valet in an off-white Chrysler 300 (y'know, the baby Bentley). I would respect his privacy and not report it, but hell, Jerry's at noon? He wanted to be noticed.

· Aug. 21: Djimon Hounsou at the WeHo Equinox. Little bit of white in his goatee. Must be from all that give-me-an-Oscar fence-rattling.

· Aug. 23: Over here in Muppetland, aka the Jim Henson Studios, it's been a fun day. The Queen of Country, Dolly Parton stopped by looking fantastic.

· Thursday 8/23 Formosa Café - Lily Tomlin with a small group. Mostly kept to herself, but saw her craning to look at the old headshots as she walked through. Resisted the urge to tell her that I was obsessed with "Big Business" for about three months as a kid. Also saw Teller from Penn & Teller with another group.

· Sunday at Sunset Junction, I saw Kevin Sussman — aka Walter from "Ugly Betty" (and yes, I needed IMDB for that one) — walking down Sunset just past the exit gates with what I assume was his (kind of pretty) girlfriend. Then, later Sunday afternoon at the movie theater at the Grove, I was behind John Krasinski and a male friend in line to pick up tickets from those automated ticket machines that, for some reason, speak to you in an Australian accent. Anywho, John was dressed in a hoodie (notwithstanding the fact that it was at least 95 degrees outside), and John's friend was wearing extremely tight skinny jeans. I only provide such detail because I haven't had a good celebrity sighting in months, so I may be a little overly descriptive.

· Aug. 22 I'm at lax and chris o'donnell is here on the curb with 100 bags and a black lab. He is also wearing an extremely preppy outfit of khakis, pint plaid shirt, and boat shoes. Shorter than I thought and not really that recognizable. So weird to see the man whose robin costume inspired the first funny feelings in my 12 year old loins.

· On vacation in California last week, and managed a good mix of sightings in two days in LA:
~ Tuesday 8/14: Jason Bateman, filming on Dayton Drive and looking cute in a suit with portfolio bag on his shoulder. He's taller than I thought.
~ Lunch at the Farm: Kelis & Nas having lunch right next to us. Very low-key & polite to the wait staff. She's pretty and he's short (Sawed-off in the words of my boyfriend.) Adorable couple.
~ Kim Kardashian on Robertson leaving M.A.C. and being snapped by the paparazzi. She put a finger up to her mouth, like she was telling the paparazzi to keep her desperate presence a secret, while they took her picture. Please. She had on cute shoes, though.
I Love L.A !

· Last Saturday I was having a please-cure-my-hangover brunch with my sister and step mom at the Beverly Glen Deli and almost did a spit-take with my crab omlette when I spotted "I'm 45 and Single" SCOTT BAIO!! He was with a mixed gender group of mostly attractive, actory looking folks although my sister - who watches his show - claims that none of them are on it. Scott was in shorts and a t-shirt, trying to rock a hipster beachy vibe and was actually pretty cute. He doesn't look 45 at all. Definitely knew the entire place was staring at him and liked it. I couldn't decide if I was thrilled the cameras for his show weren't there as I was feeling pretty rough and not prime-time ready or bummed - who doesn't want to be on TV?

· I was at the Farmers Market last night (Aug. 23) having drinks with a friend. After we finished our drinks we walked through the market and crossed paths with three people near the fruit stand. I said "Excuse me" as I passed in front of them, looked up briefly to see who it was, and almost lost my mind. It was MIKE TYSON.

Now, I'm not a fan of the man, but when you see him and his tattooed face (and it totally looks like facial kudzu, I'm not kidding) in person, it's quite a surprise. I ran over to my friend and asked if she saw who we just passed. She didn't, I told her it was Mike Tyson, and she stopped in her tracks and declared that she had to get a picture with him. We hustled back to the fruit stand where he was posing for photos and my friend asked him if he wouldn't mind taking one with her. He obliged and I took the photo on her camera - no kidding!

But wait - there're more. After I took my friend's picture with Mike, he then took out his camera and said, "Let me get a picture of you!" And there you have it: Mike Tyson took a picture of my friend and me on HIS camera. Hilarious, no?

· Saw illeana douglas as VintageWeave Antiques across from the Grove this week. Obviously walked across the street from the farmers market as she was a carrying a big pink cake box from one of the bakeries there..she was holding it out like it was loaded with spun gold. Very friendly. Embarrassed to say that I got a rise from checking her out because Bug-Eyed Girl has a smokin' body.

· Late Entry - two weeks ago (8/10) I saw new Spock Zachary Quinto at the West Hollywood Trader Joe's. He was dressed stylishly in a WeHo hipster sort of way, skinny jeans, striped shirt, gelled semi-mohawk. He paused to take a picture of the girl he was with as she stuck her face through the cardboard character cut out at the checkout stand. I don't think it was his girlfriend, because I am pretty sure he prefers the men.

· took in a movie yesterday at the new landmark theater at the westside pavillion and afterward decided to scarf up a tasty burger at the apple pan across the street. upon entering and finding a seat, i looked up to see my favorite sleeze-bag actor and baby maker for rent vincent gallo. the "brown bunny" boy was seated alone by one of the registers eating something that required utensils. he had this kinda dazed vacant look as he sat and consumed his gruel or whatever it was in the bowl in front of him. if you did not know who he was, he looked like a homeless guy that finally begged up enough money to actually sit somewhere to get something hot to eat. pretty pathetic.

· Vincent Gallo and Sonic Youth's Thurston Moore hanging out together around the bar at the Yeah Yeah Yeah's show at the Mayan Theater (8/22)

· Aug. 22 - Yay! My first real celeb sighting since moving to LA. four months ago. So, I met up with a friend for lunch at the delicious LUCQUES (I recommend the BLTA!) when I spy none other than sitcom-sidekick and Howard Stern guest Andy Dick sitting at the bar (in front of the windows, natch). He looks surprisingly healthy, the hair was a bit darker, no glasses, and he was in the company of two cute boys. I was staring inappropriately and he made eye contact and gave a friendly wave - I wasn't sure if he though he knew me or was just grateful to be recognized. I realized I was probably being rude and went on my way. The end.

· Michelle Rodriguez. Thursday morning. Sitting outside JambaJuice in the heart of Boystown/Weho. Sitting with a pretty young lady. Both in blue jeans & long-sleeve collared shirts (like men wear). Neither wearing a lick of make-up. Girlfriend sitting with legs demurely crossed. Michelle sitting with legs wide open. Leaning forward with one for-arm on the table. Kind of like how you'd imagine McSteamy (Eric Dane) would be sitting with a chick he wants to bang.

· Hey, if somebody can report on Mr. Belding at the Cat and Fiddle, can I chime in on my eehhh sighting as well? Sunset Junction on the Sunday the 19th. Saw Michael McDonald (nah, not of the Doobs / Steely Dan...much to my chagrin)...the one from MadTV. Hes tall, had a few people around him, and did not look in the mood for any Stuuuuaaaart-related requests. Uh, not that I'd do that anyway.

· Saw the girl who plays Julie Mayer (Andrea Bowen) on desperate housewives last night (Aug. 23) in santa monica at some crystal light charity thing. I was shocked to see a young hollywood start NOT out partying. Weird!

In today's episode: Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli; Bruce Willis; Danny DeVito; Natalie Portman; Giovanni Ribisi, Kelly Osbourne, and Danny Masterson; John Mayer; Chris Parnell; James Van Der Beek; Jeff Probst; Natasha Henstridge and Paul Guilfoyle; Lewis Black; Mitch Rouse; Bill Brochtrup; and Bradley Baumkirchner.

· Wednesday, April 18th, 10:45 am, West Hollywood Target: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Israeli model girlfriend Bar Refaeli. He was wearing sunglasses indoors, but he was both taller and thinner than you'd expect. The Orthodox ladies stocking up on Pampers paid him no mind.

· Yesterday (April 16), I spotted Bruce Willis outside of the Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills. He was on his cell phone and appeared to be asking the bellman where his car was. He was wearing a gray sweater with jeans (folded at the bottom) and hiking boots. Having never been a Die Hard fan, I can honestly say that he definitely has an "everyman" rugged feel to him that's appealing.

Also, I'm not sure if there's a statue of limitations on when we can send in sightings, but I spotted Danny DeVito at LAX on March 23. I was waiting to catch a redeye to NYC and he came off of the plane I was going to board. He's exactly like you would picture him — short, round and friendly.

· I had a dry spell for a while (although I kept seeing mike tyson at crunch but someone else already wrote that in), but last night (4-19) I had a good one: natalie portman at cat 'n' fiddle. she's gorgeous, natch. perfect skin. very low key with a couple of guys I didn't recognize. they came in around 11, sat next to us but moved when they realized the heater was broken and took up a corner table on the patio. I think she was wearing some kind of fleece to keep warm. last night was cooooold.

· Doin' the art scene @ Bergamont last night (4/19), Robert Berman Gallery for Alex Prager's photo show... Saw Giovanni Ribisi (with an exceptionally hot brunette woman), Kelly Osbourne (who left early, exhibiting a rather sulky walk to the car), and Danny Masterson, who's lookin' svelte without those huge chops on the side of his face.

· John Mayer at Mastro's, and maybe even Jessica, too, on Friday night. (But not sure about the Miss Simpson part.)

While enjoying a lazy Saturday we saw Chris Parnell shopping at the Mayfair on Franklin in the late afternoon.

· Last nite (4/19) was having dinner w/a friend at Max in Sherman Oaks. James Van Der Beek walks in with skinny brunette and joins another couple already seated. He sits w/his back to the crowd. No one really noticed except our waiter who went over and shook his hand later on in the evening. My friend and I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring (?) and when my friend commented the next table over heard and thought it was funny, too! JVB's date had to send her dinner back (soooo LA..........) and they were drinking pink drinks (Cosmo's?) How exciting my first tip to you guys!!!!

· Saw Survivor host Jeff Probst and a "guy" pal shopping at the Petco on Sepulveda Blvd in Van Nuys on Sunday 4/15...They appeared very happy together... ;) Both dressed down in shorts and sandals. I must admit, Jeff looks better on TV...skin's a little pasty looking without the pancake.

· Upon moving from the westside to the valley (difference between owning a house with a pool vs a 70's apartment and sharing a pool with the cable guy) I expected my sightings to diminish. Not so, being a new homeowner I spend all my free time at hardware stores (seriously they are like crack to a new homeowner, I feel like Steve Martin in the jerk...I don't need anything, well except maybe this, and this and oh I definitely need this) and who do I see at the Osh but still milf-like hot Natasha Henstridge. Before said trip had some darn good chorizo and eggs at Sollys on Van Nuys (cept they don't have Cholula..WTF) who do I see heading straight for me like he wants me for questioning and looking, well, cop-like...Lt Brass from CSI (I never say CSI Vegas because the other poser city shows suck) Paul Guilfoyle.

· Well-known recently Grammy winning stand-up comedian and host of The Daily Show's "Back in Black," Lewis Black at The Abbey (4-17) in West Hollywood . He was with two hot girls and a quiet, soft-spoken gay-ish guy. Surprised to see him there. He was on like his fourth glass of red wine.

· Mitch Rouse from "According to Jim" was in Jerry's Famous Deli on Ventura in Studio City yesterday (4-16). He was getting take out and waiting at the very front counter.

· Sunday 4/15, Bill Brochtrup at Cheebos on Sunset having brunch with another handsome, preppy looking guy. Taller than I expected and looking more worked-out than in his "NYPD Blue" years. I'd date him in a heartbeat.

· Wednesday April 18th, saw a cleanshaven Bradley Baumkirchner at Low End Theory night at The Airliner (charming bar that smells like vomit, but outside patio is nice) listening to the DJ stylings of Dntel amongst others. He was talking to a cute manorexic dressed in black. I couldn't tell what BB was wearing apart from loose dark colored t-shirt.

In today's episode: Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli; Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson, Steven Spielberg, Kate Capshaw, Rob Reiner, and Sandra Oh; Arianna Huffington; Jack Nicholson, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Carson Daly and Joey Fatone; Mark Wahlberg; Luke Wilson; Lily Tomlin; Richard Lewis; Courteney Cox and Laura Dern; Mandy Moore; Johnny Knoxville; Jonathan Rhys Myers; John Krasinski; Hugh Laurie; Adam Brody; Quentin Tarantino; Molly Shannon; Michael C. Hall, Thandie Newton and David Leisure; Kirstie Alley and Sally Struthers; Brad Grey; Paul Dooley; Meredith Baxter, Tom Morello, Joe Simpson, and Slash; Elisa Donovan; Zachary Quinto; Kim Kardashian; Neil Flynn; Andrew Dice Clay; Monica Keena, Rachel Boston, Diane Delano, and Joel Michaely; Eric Benet; Haley Marie Norman; and Marc Horowitz.

· I was perusing the cheap put-it-together-yourself-and-maybe-die-in-the-process furniture at the Burbank Ikea and came across a baseball-capped Leonardo DiCaprio and his very attractive, though extremely young looking, girlfriend Bar Rafaeli . They were looking at mock room set-ups and shelving units. Wouldn't you think he would make enough per picture to afford ACTUAL furniture and not Swedish particle-board?

· Attended the star studded (?) premiere of "Distracted" at the Taper. Saw Tom Hanks with his improbable hair and extended family supporting wife-unit Rita Wilson (who was great). Also saw Sandra Oh, looking older than I thought. Rob Reiner, looking like Magic Mountain in a black suit, and Steven Spielberg wearing the same camel-colored corduroy jacket your science teacher wore and some seriously dirty shoes. Didn't have enough time to figure out whether this was a deliberate look, or just too-rich-to-care. Shiksawifeunit Kate Capshaw was skinny, but had a surprisingly natural, motile and attractive face. Hate her.

Arianna Huffington was there. Were she still with the gay husband he might have told her that peplums should skim the hip. Higher up they are doilies.

· Went to the Laker game on Sunday 3/25. The usual Hollywood hugging and million-dollar smiles. Sat in the B-lister section right behind Carson Daly and his two buddys. He later found Joey Fatone further down the row, they embraced and fondly remembered the glory days when they ruled MTV and teenage girls. Also viewed Jeffrey Katzenberg in the front row looking very upbeat despite his profits being flushed away. Andy Garcia walked in front of us with his daughter, he was dressed like it was a Knicks game...outdoors. Jack Nicholson's hair has grown in since the Oscar telecast. The guy next to me just returned from Iraq and got his seats as a gift. Glad he could enjoy an entertaining game.

· Mark Wahlberg having an early Friday lunch at Matsuhisa. Not that having lunch before noon is unusual but his cell phone certainly was. When was the last time you saw anyone in Hollywood with an old school cell that you pull out the antenna before you answer the phone? You can take th boy out of New England but you can't take the....

· Saw a ridiculously hot looking Luke Wilson last night (3/25) at Musha in Santa Monica. He sat at the sushi bar with a lady friend and another gentleman. They were all super nice and looked like they were having a good time.

· Hey Defamerites— Lily Tomlin was on my Souwthwest flight home to Burbank on Saturday (03/24). She looked stunning, sexy, and classy. With Tom Waits on the cover of Southwest Spirit magazine, there was even a little Short Cuts reunion to be had. Alas, Mr. O. Russell was not on the plane. too bad, because I'd have liked to see Lily kick his ass.

On the way home from the airport, we saw Richard Lewis being interviewed outside of the Laugh Factory. Everyone was in black, so we assume it was a memorial for Richard Jeni.

· This sunday we saw Courteney Cox, Coco, and a bunch of either friends or nannies taking up the big back table at Patrick's Roadhouse. They all seemed to be having a pleasant time with an elderly lady friend... who my wife later told me was Laura Dern.

· Sunday PM, LAX, heading to NYC on American. Mandy Moore in the security line with a bearded fedora-wearing hipster type. Hard to tell if they were 'together.' She looked great in no make-up and a simple cotton dress. Very 'normal sized' (aside from being tall) and hot. Sadly, she was not at Lotus when I went there after landing. Even more sadly, I was.

· 3/22- I'm about 90% sure that I saw Johnny Knoxville driving down Bundy in West LA. He had his typical tousled hair, cop shades, and the "I don't mind putting strange things down my pants or getting hit in the nads for a living" look. The only reason there was the 10% of unsureness (word?), is that he was driving a really nice Mercedes. Not exactly what I pictured him driving for some reason.

· 3/25, 4 pm. Saw Jonathan Rhys-Myers in his black Audi [A6 or A8] making a left onto Genessee from Hollywood Blvd. Made eye contact when making his left turn; hypnotic stare

· Spotted Jonathan Rhys-Myers last Thursday morning at Crunch in the locker room... but sadly, I didn't get close enough to report back on the important statistics. Nonetheless, I was having thoughts about cancelling my membership to Crunch— now I'm not cancelling it anytime soon.

Then yesterday evening (Sunday) at the Arclight, I went to see "Reign Over Me," as did John Krasinski (with a girl, but I couldn't tell if it was Rashida Jones or not, and quite frankly, I wasn't paying attention)... I kept craning my neck in his general direction whenever BJ Novak came on screen (who, by the way, is the best part of an otherwise manipulative, crappy movie).

· 10:30 Friday morning, westbound on Melrose and spotted him on a motorcycle pulling out of a gas station and it made the trip to Hollywood Chamber of Commerce breakfast worth it. One of the joys of living in LA is seeing 6' 3" of pure sex in the form of Hugh Laurie gaining on you in the rear view mirror. On his black Triumph and even handsomer in person. I rolled down my window for a good look and resisted the urge to jump on the back of his bike as he passed. My passenger thanked me.

· Saturday night, 24 March: An extremely Seth Cohen-esque Adam Brody was at HMS Bounty on Wilshire with a broad shouldered and brunette lady friend. No one seemed to notice him, despite his flamboyant hand gestures, and I concluded that the other patrons there couldn't have cared less about the vague celebrity in our midst. However, my companion had a clear view of the stairway leading to the building next door and said that every single person freaked out once out of his view.

· 3/25, Four Season around noon. Just finishing their delicious and insanely overpriced brunch ($140 for two people? Really?) when I saw Quentin Tarantino getting out of a white car. I should have paid more attention to exactly what kind of a car it was but he wasn't driving. Wearing an ugly green hospital shirt and horrible green jacket. Does he dress like that on purpose or does he really not know any better?

· Molly Shannon, baby Nolan, and nanny on JetBlue flight from JFK to BUR today (3/26). Flight attendant cornered her in the back of the plane to talk about "career choices." She seemed to be genuinely engaged in conversation with the attendant. Then later, she was knocked out in her aisle seat catching some major z's (mouth wide open). I'll admit it wasn't the most glamorous moment, but 30 minutes prior I know I looked the exact same way.

· a friday afternoon triple play 3.23 around 1:45 on my way down Beverly saw a very dark haired Michael C. Hall pacing in front of Shelter, was he thinking about how much things cost in there? Then on Fairfax turning into the grove Thandie Newton in a red porsche, top down looking amazing with no make up, yes i was that close to her. Then getting the car from the valet at the Grove (it is just worth the 8 bucks) getting into a lexus was David Leisure...what no Isuzu for Joe Isuzu!

Saturday, 3/23 - Kirstie Alley spotted at the WeHo Target at the intersection of La Brea and Santa Monica. She was in the bedding section with some woman who appeared to her assistant. She looked so-so.

· 3-24 Who spent part of her 30th birthday at Targay? I did! And so did Stunning (size 16 if she's a day) Kirstie Alley and Save the Children's Sally Struthers. I couldn't look away... from ether of them. (snap! I said it! owwwwww!) (I'm not a total freak, I just really love target!)

· Two very odd sightings that may not exactly make the top of your list, but hey, there's always the bottom of the page that needs to be filled. Saturday night (3/24) saw longtime TV veteran guest star/best-John-Hughes-movie-dad ever Paul Dooley coming out of Reign O'er Me at the Arclight. Couldn't tell if the one actor who appeared in Death Wish, Shakes the Clown and Strange Brew (thanks, IMDB!), but was still forced to take part in Employee of the Month enjoyed the Sandler flick, but hey, he was wearing overalls and holding hands with his wife, so all must be right with the world.

Saw Brad Grey of all people the next morning (3/25) racing his bicycle down the bike path that runs along the PCH from the edge of Malibu to Venice. Decked out in Tour de France-style blue Lycra from head to toe complete with helmet and wraparound sunglasses, I wouldn't have recognized him except that I'd seen him a couple of times in person here and there and you never forget the man who had so much faith in Norm MacDonald that he executive produced both Screwed and Dirty Work.

· Hi! A little bit late, I know, but I was at LAX on Thursday the 15th on my way to Austin for SXSW. While walking to my gate I saw Meredith Baxter, the mom from Family Ties, walking away from the gate next to mine and looking kind of annoyed.

While at my gate I spotted Tom Morello smiling and talking with fans who had approached him. I then got on the plane and passed by Joe Simpson and SLASH in first class. Slash was looking like, well, like Slash. Joe Simpson looked a little too creepy for me to do a double take.

· Bottle Rock wine bar in Culver City, Saturday 3/24: Sitting at an outside table was Sandra Oh, with a table of six or so, including Amber from Clueless (Elisa Donovan). Had no idea Sandra and Ambular were friends...

· Saturday night at a photo "gallery showing" at a trendy Hollywood coffee joint, I saw Syler from "Heroes" aka ZACHARY QUINTO. IMDB says homeboy is 30 - no way! On the show, I always thought he looked late 20s/30-ish, but in person he looks baby-faced and about 24. He was prepster/hipster cool sportin' a sweater and black horn rimmed glasses and seemed to be at this thing with a girl/date. Zach clearly knew the photographer, who I also believe is usually an actor type himself. This sighting made me totally anxious for "Heroes" to come back from hiatus!

· 3-25 Paris pal Kim "Oooh baby I'm gonna cum" Kardashian at Casa Vega in Sherman Oaks. Huge boobs hanging out of a low cut dress, heavy makeup, waiting for a table like everyone else. Maybe if Paris was there she would have been seated faster!

· A very tall Neil Flynn from Scrubs wandered in to the Robin Hood Pub in Sherman Oaks, just before midnight on Friday. He was with a contingent of other "very tall" guys. Could of fielded a competitive basketball team!

· The DiceMan Cometh to 24hr FItness in Sherman Oaks. Just clocked funnyman manque Andrew Dice Clay bellying up to the reception with his long-haired semi-surly son. Nice 'tude, tubs. They are soon to be reality stars, no?, like the Osbournes and Hulk Hogans. Whatever the comeback format, he looked way (whey?) burly with huge out-hanging shirt and amusingly frazzled hair and sideburns, now streaked with grey. Here's hoping to a meeting of comic titans when he bumps into gym regular Jay Mohr.

· Marix, Saturday 24th March — there was a huge party going on on the patio, pink balloons, drunken guests, the whole 9... sitting in the corner in a little celebu-pod was an odd mix of folks, including a sweatshirted Monica Keena, pigtaled and ginghamed Rachel Boston, animated Diane Delano, and slick-haired Joel Michaely. It looked like everyone was having a gay old time with a set of big blonde twins.

· Today I saw Halle Berry's ex, Eric Benet is Claremont, CA. He was entering the Some Crust bakery with 2 young girls when I was leaving. Both he and the girls were dressed super-hollywood-y; he's quite attractive though, and a decent height (since people seem to care about that kind of thing). The girls had on Harajuku Lovers tees and handbags, and True Religion jeans. He was wearing some sort of crazy-painted Vans shoe, jeans, and blazer. And I think embroidery on either his shirt or the blazer. They were all just a whirl of graphics. That's what I mean by super-hollywood-y, who else can afford to be so very trendy?? My friend and I figure he was in town to visit Ben Harper or something since Some Crust is a block or so away from Ben's parents' Folk Music Center. Woo hoo. Yes I know, not very exciting.

· Saw Haley Marie Norman from Deal or No Deal at Miceli's in Universal City. I have never seen the show, but people I was with recognized her. I just thought when I walked by her, "Wow, that is a gorgeous woman." You'd have to be gorgeous to pull off that 'do, and she does. One of the guys I was with wanted to go up and ask her if he could see inside her 'briefcase'. Hilarity ensued!

· [Ed. note: Since recent media appearances have featured a cleanshaven Jon Heder, we strongly suspect the following sighting was of accidental Heder impressionist Marc Horowitz.] finishing up brunch at Dusty's in Silverlake this Sunday, we caught Jon Heder of Napoleon Dynamite and Blades of Glory fame getting on his bike. He appeared heftier than I thought he would be and looked like a total stoner, long scraggly hair and full on beard. Isn't he a Mormon? He didn't look like a Mormon. Anyway, it could've also been his twin brother, Dan Heder. Oh and he was totally nice.

By the time the two headed for Refaeli's family's home in an upscale Tel Aviv suburb, it was besieged by dozens of photographers desperate for a glimpse of the two.

On Monday, the pair eluded their pursuers and traveled to Jerusalem, eventually visiting the Western Wall and its subterranean tunnels in the Old City, police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said.

But the visit turned violent upon their exit, when the couple's bodyguards scuffled with photographers waiting outside. A number of journalists said they were punched and their equipment damage [sic].

It's unfortunate that what many consider the holiest site on the planet should so quickly devolve into a scene more typical of a Saturday night outside Koi. Even the ultraorthodox worshippers nearby dropped their davining to encircle the melée, cheering on the combatants as they excitedly waved shekels in their hands. Once the bodyguards were restrained and taken into custody, however, the Western Wall paparazzi dusted themselves off, and, pros that they are, went back to work on their usual detail, staking out the area for that elusive money-shot: A photo of God without underwear.

• Western Wall Media Fracas Over Leo & Pal [CBSNews.com]

In today's star-studded, Oscar Week episode: Leonardo DiCaprio; Mel Gibson, Diane Sawyer, Mike Nichols; The Rock; Jennifer Hudson; Peter O'Toole; Hilary Swank; Orlando Bloom and Adrian Grenier; Cuba Gooding, Jr., Michael Arndt, Shannyn Sossamon, John Waters, Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla and Carson Daly; Will Arnett, Joey McIntyre and Dax Shepard; Lauren Graham, Robin Tunney and Marley Shelton; Scott Speedman and Bradley Cooper; Scott Foley and Marika Dominczyk; Jeff Zucker; Tim Allen; Matt Stone; Dane Cook; Paris Hilton; Tawny Cypress; Magic Johnson; Rory Cochrane; Jai Rodriguez, Lakisha Jones, Gina Glocksen and Leslie Hunt; Serena Williams and Camryn Manheim.

· So I was at dinner tonight (2/26) at Table 8 on Melrose with a very handsome companion when my attention was drawn away from him to a most Delicious specimen. Yes, it was Leo DiCaprio with a group of 6 or so. I know he is dating a model (natch) but the women he was dining with looked liked they were normal (!) wearing casual clothes and little to no makeup. (Undercover?)They were still beautiful but it seemed weird. Oh wait. Maybe Leo has some real friends! They seemed like a nice and normal group of people out for a good, if expensive, meal.

· this morning 2.24 at 10:50am going east on sunset blvd at holloway stopped at the light saw Leo DiCaprio's head bobbing up and down in the back seat of a "green" limo honda civic. His head filled the entire window..........i know it's oscar weekend and all, but it was Leo the nominated!

· So everyone probably saw everyone somewhere on Oscar weekend, but we had a good double header on 2/23:

#1 - The Rock having what looked like a business dinner at Dan Tana's.

#2 - Mel Gibson at the Belvedere in the Peninsula, acting extremely chummy with Diane Sawyer and Mike Nichols. There are so many things wrong with this I don't know where to start, but I think the big questions are about Diane's journalistic integrity and whether or not Mel calls her "Sugar Tits."

· Jennifer Hudson was on my mom's plane yesterday (2/26) from LAX to Kennedy. My mom told her "you were so great," and Jennifer was super sincerely nice and appreciative, like a sweet un-jaded teenager. (JH was in first class, mom was stuck in coach.) I first thought "oh brother" when I heard this story, but then the flight attendant told her she was the only one to approach the winning ingenue on the whole flight! Weird that peeps are that Too Cool for School to an Oscar winner the day after. Not that she needs more adulation, but b/c of her going virtually unnoticed it's OK mom said something. JH apparently let all the flight attendants hold her Oscar but not in a show off-y way, which is sorta sweet, no?

· 2/24 I live right behind the Four Seasons hotel and we walked over to night to see who might be around. No one in the bar, just random nobodies (or no one I recognize). So we go into the lounge with the fireplace and it's totally dead. Then Peter O'Toole and his retinue walks in and sits down. We hung around for a while and he held court there then we eventually left. But it was great! Sadly, he looks like death warmed over, but still very classy and British. He was with a woman wearing a tee shirt that said on the back: I'm with a living legend.

· 4pm, Oscar night at Whole Foods on Wilshire in S.M. Was less than thrilled to be there as I'm more of a Ralph's guy, but what baby wants, baby gets. We're in the checkout line and I notice a stellar set of teeth on the cute, yet slightly disheveled girl in front of us. Hilary Swank! Food shopping on Oscar night! Hell of a difference a year makes...

· Adrian Grenier's band performing at The Echo on Saturday...Adrian loves his Pale Ale. And Orlando Bloom came to show his support. Both stayed through the second band and were pretty chill about hanging out with the all ages crowd...but soon headed off to Adrian's house for an after party.

· I went to the after-party at Shutters. Got there a little later. While in line, I saw Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla, his girlfriend, and Carson Daly leaving as a group. Noticed that Carson smokes and is indeed rather skinny.

Inside, I saw Cuba Gooding, Jr., Michael Arndt, Shannyn Sossamon, and John Waters.

· Today (2/26), I was walking down Larchmont and I saw a cute little dog and as I stopped to coo at it I noticed the owner was none other than Christian rocker (and former NKOTB member) Joey McIntyre. He was chatting with two smokers sitting at a café about some movie he did in Boston. Turns out the two men were Will Arnett (cue "The Final Countdown"), who reassured McIntyre of his performance in the film, and Arnett's Let's Got to Prison costar Dax Shepard. They were all in good spirits and very nice indeed.

· Had an eclectic sighting at grace restaurant on saturday night. Marley Shelton, Lauren Graham, possibly Robin Tunney, and one of the blond girls from Friday Night Lights were all having dinner together, as part of a large party in the back room. Sadly, my back was to that table so I couldn't stare and my dining companions don't watch enough TV to identify anyone else in the party. I need to get new friends.

· A star-studded day at the Casbah Cafe! 2-27, Scott Speedman strolls into the Silver Lake mainstay around 10:30 am, looking legitimately rolled-out-of-bed, as opposed to "spent 45 minutes perfecting the rolled-out-of-bed look." He had a knapsack on him, ordered some juice, left, came back in, examined an empty LA Weekly rack, left, came back in for a moment, then left again. Scintillating! Then, a couple hours later, Bradley Baumkirchner of Project Runway fame strolled in, in all his scraggily glory. Disheveled blond dude central over here! (Speedman was infinitely more doable...but can he put me in a weird looking bubble dress? I think not.)

Saturday 2/24 at around Noonish. Saw Scott Foley and fiancee (the girl who plays Tyler on Brothers & Sisters) [Marika Dominczyk] walking on Montana past Blue Plate. They didn't eat there (at least when I was there), but apparently know the hostess, as she chatted with them for a while. My friend and I couldn't get over how SMOKIN he is in person.

· 2/24 - Jeff Zucker, looking totally non-honcho holding hands with his little boy with the rest of the family in tow, strolling down Beverly on Saturday morning.

· After a somewhat satisfying, low-carb breakfast of lox, eggs and onions at Canters, my b.f. and I sauntered to the counter to pay the check. We then spied a ball-capped, shades-wearing Tim Allen, also waiting to settle up, with his young daughter. At least, I hope it was his daughter—she came up to about his waist and had barely hit puberty, but who knows. The point is, he looked extremely puffy and, get this—the bedraggled cashier dared to inspect TIM ALLEN'S twenty dollar bill in the light to make sure it wasn't counterfeit—maybe he knows Wild Hogs will bomb and assumes his cash is questionable. After a quick eye-roll, Tim shared a weak laugh with his daughter/girlfriend. My b.f. and I also chuckled—but more at Tim's scarily taut jaw-line, complete with an old-fashioned scar in FRONT of the ear, and the classic PERMANENTLY SURPRISED! look on his brow-lifted face. One would think at 1.25 million a pop for each episode of Home Improvement, he might have found a better surgeon. I'm sort of surprised that during their on-set bonding, Travolta didn't recommend his favorite Scientology-vitamin-silent-exercise routine to normalize the face of our favorite grunting, sitcom dad.

· Matt Stone from "South Park" and 1/2 of the J-Lo/Gwyneth combo at the Oscars a few years back, hanging with friends Fri night (2/23) at the Joker,
probably the sketchiest old-man dive bar on the dumpy part of Pico in SM. He
chatted and sipped his tequila shot (salt) for awhile, then took off with
his bald friend. We thought that'd be it, but they returned about 15 minutes
later....with McDonalds! The guy walked across the street and got McDonalds
to bring back for his friends.

· Dane Cook at the Coldstone Creamery at the Beverly Connection, last monday, President's Day, around 8pm. Picking up pints for himself and his live in love Raquel. He had to call her to find out what she wanted but she didn't answer. I didn't notice what he was ordering because he looked like any other shlub when I got in line next to him. It wasn't until I had listened to him speaking for a minute or two that I realized who he was. The Coldstone ice cream guys were clearly as indifferent as I was. He was very low profile which was refreshing given his over hyped onstage persona.

· * Evening of Wed., Feb. 21, at the Fatburger on Santa Monica in WeHo, Tawny Cypress (newly dead Simone on Heroes) ordered a bacon cheeseburger in the company of her significant other and their really cute 8-year-old. Totally unpretentious in a long sweatshirt, skirt and Converse shoes,