Brave Judges Make the Airwaves Safe at Last For Unscripted Nudity

In a landmark decision for bodice rippers and the networks who love them, a trio of federal judges today threw out the FCC's $550,000 fine against CBS for the Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction" that exposed Janet Jackson's right breast in 2004. The damning decision resulted in a miserable spoof by Justin Timberlake at last night's ESPY Awards and, worse yet for the FCC, essentially wiped out the upgraded decency standards implemented after the broadcast — at least for live shows, which required the judges to buy CBS's defense that the nip slip was an "accident."

Laugh all you want (we're right there with you), but hey — it worked. Follow the jump to read why.

Cat Attack Sidelines 'Greatest American Dog' Contestant, Reality-Show Tears Ensue

Culture-Wrecking Duo Gene Simmons and Mark Burnett Team Up Again For 'Jingles'

Simmons will be joined by an "advisory panel"€ that include Madison Avenue gurus Linda Kaplan Thaler and Julie Roehm. But Simmons will be the final authority on the show who decides which contestants are eliminated each week.

Hard Newswoman Katie Couric Won't Jump At Meaty A-Rod Exclusive Like Some Dish-Hungry Scoop-Ho

Reality TV Takes Turn For Worse, Goes To Dogs

World's Dozen Remaining TV Critics Gather For One Last Strike-Addled, Blog-Ruined Party

Mary-Kate Olsen Joins David Letterman In Taking Down Spencer Pratt One 'Oily' Insult At A Time

David Letterman Dares to Spoil Summer With Impromptu 'Dark Knight' Review

Will Smith And Dave Letterman Finally Break The Sexual Tension

Dave And Teri: A Love Story

David Letterman Heroically Bitch-Slaps Spencer Pratt For All Of Us

Kimbo Slice and Regis Philbin Slug it Out For the Soul of Weekend Television

CBS has seen the future (or at least the ratings) and its name is Kimbo Slice. Or maybe it's Regis Philbin. Or conceivably both, after a look at the weekend ratings that established both EliteXC Saturday Night Fights and Million Dollar Password as the network's summer programming to be reckoned with — nauseously, perhaps, and only after sizable narcotic consumption, but no doubt inevitably. Philbin strung together an audience from the 60 Minutes window preceding him Sunday evening, winning the night with nearly 11 million viewers. But bare-knuckle Mixed Martial Arts superstar Slice fared surprisingly well in an even more sepulchral Saturday-night slot, pulling an average of 4.3 million viewers nationally between 9 and 11 p.m.

And it might have done even better if not for the affiliates who opted for a telethon or, in the case of uptight Greensboro, N.C., anything but a massive black ex-strip-club bouncer beating the holy fuck out of some anonymous, pasty chump:

New J.J. Abrams Series 'Fringe' Billed By Fox As 'Felicity With Smoke-People'

· Fox's fall schedule announcement introduces only two new shows: a comedy called Do Not Disturb (formerly The Inn), and J.J. Abrams's new series Fringe, which will air Tuesdays at 9 after House. Details on Fringe are being kept under close wraps, but based upon a slew of promotional images over at TV Week, we think it revolves around a conspiracy discovered by a quality control technician at a menthol cigarette factory, played by Joshua Jackson. Joss Whedon's Dollhouse, meanwhile, and new animated shows Sit Down, Shut Up and The Cleveland Show won't air until mid-season. Executed: Back to You, Canterbury's Law, K-Ville, Nashville, New Amsterdam, The Next Great American Band, The Return of Jezebel James and Unhitched. [Variety]
· Daniel Day-Lewis may be taking over the role vacated by Javier Bardem in Rob Marshall's movie of the musical Nine. Bla bla milkshake jazz-hands bla bla. [Variety]

New Jay Mohr Sitcom Funnier Than Tourette's Humor

CBS Not Reinventing The Sitcom And Cop Show Wheel Here, Folks

Following a detour in last season's CBS programming strategy which saw the network throw a few wackier ideas against the fridge to see what stuck (Drac Steele, Vampire P.I. and The Singing Venetian, Hugh Jackman's addition to the musical-casino genre, were what stuck), it seems they have returned to the dependability of laugh-tracks and procedurals for the fall 2008-09 season. At their upfronts announcement this morning at their New York offices, Les Moonves and trusty commandantes Nina Tassler and Kelly Kahl made official their last-minute, 22-episode order of The New Adventures of Old Christine, the unlikely story of what happens when Elaine loses her balls and spends the majority of her leisure time bickering with her ex-husband and his new girlfriend. Following them on Wednesdays is a new sitcom, Project Gary, starring Jay Mohr, while another new, single-camera comedy, Worst Week, joins the Monday night lineup, alongside all the wisecracking nerd-geniuses and Britney guest spots you've come to expect.

Procedural goodness after the jump!

Steve Martin And Diane Keaton To Bicker At A Cineplex Near You

· Paramount bought Steve Martin's pitch From Zero to Sixty, which legend has it he apparently sold with three words: "Steve. Diane. Lamborghinis."[Variety]
· Will & Grace star Megan Mullally returns to sitcomdom playing opposite Alicia Silverstone in ABC sitcom pilot Bad Mother's Handbook. [Variety]
· American Gladiators tanked in the ratings, leading the order, "Skimpier costumes! NOW!" to reverberate out of Ben Silverman's office. [THR]
· CBS gives that show with Christine in the title and How I Met Your Mother full-season pickups. [THR]
· ABC is only ordering two new series, including a final, 13-episode order for Boston Legal.

It's A Network Pickup Orgy!

· Fox has picked up J.J. Abrams's Fringe, about a female FBI agent who "tackles unexplained medical and scientific phenomena," and Joss Whedon's Dollhouse, both for mid-season debuts meant to be bolstered by American Idol's return, an effect Fox internally refers to as "the Drunk-Paula Boost." [Variety]
· The CW makes it official: The Beverly Hills, 90210 spinoff is a go, with Jennie Garth reprising her role as Kelly Taylor. New York magazine will eventually go on to declare the series "mankind's greatest single achievement since the Wright brothers perfected human flight." [THR]
· ABC, meanwhile, has ordered "quirky sci-fi thriller" Life on Mars, a new animated series from Mike Judge called The Goode Family, and Ashton Kutcher reality show Opportunity Knocks. Unlike last year's Cavemen, none are based on an insurance commercial—though Allstate, a "drama with supernatural elements" starring Dennis Haysbert as a creepy guy who has a way of always showing up at highway accidents, is said to be a possible mid-season replacement. [Variety]