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blind items
You're probably just moments from departing for the happy hour drink specials that will help you blot out the memories of the past week, so let's get to your blind item guesses. But first (there's always a "but first"), quickly review Three Envelope-Dangling Blind Vices:
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The Blind Item Guessing Game: Three Secret Gays For the Price Of One: Your Answers
You're probably just moments from departing for the happy hour drink specials that will help you blot out the memories of the past week, so let's get to your blind item guesses. But first (there's always a "but first"), quickly review Three Envelope-Dangling Blind Vices:
More »
blind items
The Blind Item Guessing Game: Three Secret Gays For the Price Of One
Wherein we invite our readers to drag the shiny, clean blind item razor blade offered by humpy E! gossip-cutter Ted Casablanca along an unscarred section of their fleshy forearms, the only self-destructive act that makes them feel truly alive anymore. This week, Ted ambitiously juggles three hopelessly concealed subjects, supplementing his obsessive coverage of Toothy Tile's half-out-of-the-closet antics with those of two secretly homosexualized co-stars. Dip your toes in Three Envelope-Dangling Blind Vices: More »
ted casablanca
Late Afternoon Blind Item Fun: Brad Grey, Lilliputian Butt-Smoocher
Toiling over in the new Fortress of Humpitude his E!nslavers have constructed for him on their redesigned website, disgruntled gossipist Ted Casablanca coyly blinded this item about a Paramount star (not pictured, probably) who rather rudely called attention to studio boss Brad Grey's well-documented, three-apples-tall stature: More »
ted casablanca
The Blind Item Guessing Game: Still More Morgan Mayhem: Your Answers
Before you all bolt your desks for the sweet, sweet freedom of the weekend, let's wrap up today's blind item guessing game. But before moving on to your guesses, take another lap around One Unsisterly Blind Vice: More »
ted casablanca
The Blind Item Guessing Game: Still More Morgan Mayhem
Wherein we invite our heretical readers to tie themselves to humpy E! gossip-Grand Inquisitor Ted Casablanca's wooden stake and submit to the purifying flames of his righteous blind items. Submitted for your guessing game pleasure is today's installment of the continuing, coke-flecked tale of recurring Casablanca character Morgan Mayhem (yes, again, but who could get tired of someone this lovable?), whose allegedly escalating drug habit somehow hasn't alleviated her behavioral problems, but has done wonders in releasing her Sapphic, exhibitionist traits. Close you eyes and allow One Unsisterly Blind Vice to wash over you: More »
ted casablanca
The suspense is crippling—proceed on to your blind item guessing game answers before you pass out from anticipation. But first, one more lap around One Headline-Hungry Blind Vice:
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The Blind Item Guessing Game: Dorrell Sausage, Starfucker: Your Answers
The suspense is crippling—proceed on to your blind item guessing game answers before you pass out from anticipation. But first, one more lap around One Headline-Hungry Blind Vice:
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ted casablanca
The Blind Item Guessing Game: Dorrell Sausage, Starfucker
[Ed, note—Despite a nagging fear that disgruntled E! gossip Ted Casablanca's daily column is being written by a Random Celebrity Name And English-Like Word Generator ever since he aired his grievances, we have heard your pleas, and we are ready to return the Blind Item Guessing game to our weekly rotation. So we better see some guesses flooding in! Enjoy.] Wherein we invite our readers to build a makeshift raft from any buoyant materials handy on their desert islands and push off into the angry, churning sea presided over by humpy E! gossip-Poseidon Ted Casablanca, avoiding a lacerating trident-poke as they guess the identity of his weekly blind item. Marinate in the literal starfuckery of One Headline-Hungry Blind Vice: More »
ted casablanca
CasablancaGateWatch: Casablanca Counting The Days Until His Contract Runs Out
It was just a week ago that humpy E! gossip-gerent Ted Casablanca chummed the waters of scandal by telling his perpetually baffled readers that he knew "how Star Jones Reynolds felt" after being mysteriously yanked from his regular spot on E!'s airwaves. Suspicious fans immediately started dusting Casablanca's neck for Ryan Seacrest's fingerprints, but the crytpolinguistically gifted dirt-slinger has been silent about his job status since. That is, until now, when he updated the NY Observer about his standing at E!: More »
blind items
