Defamer
TMZ.com has obtained (read: been given a copy of by the celebrity porn broker who's trying to sell it, and who's interviewed alongside the clip) a preview of the Screech sex tape, featuring 42 seconds of star Dustin Diamond soaking in a bathtub and then describing one of the video's featured sex acts to the camera. (Yeah, probably the Dirty Sanchez one.) For now, we can deal with the mildly scarring sight of Screech reclining in the tub, possibly in the early stages of sexual arousal. But we know that we'll eventually be required to watch the full video when it's eventually "leaked," a psychically scarring ordeal that will almost certainly permanently replace our happy, innocent memories of the Saved by the Bell gang sharing plates of French fries at The Max with nightmarish images of an imposingly bedonged Screech sodomizing a Jessie/Lisa tag-team as a self-gratifying Zach cheers them on.
[Image: TMZ.com, with our personal touch added.]
Comments
Saved by the Bell:
"Screech - Wow, my first Hollywood party. I wonder if the Simpsons are gonna be there?"
Oh how innocence dies a tragic death.
What do we have that says "Legacy of Television"?
I love that the porn broker claims that Screech, unlike the cool guy and the wrestler, is actually the one to make it big (and then makes a lame dick joke). Didn't Dustin Diamond have to make t-shirts to save his house like 6 months ago? I don't call that making it big. As for recording and releasing my own sex tape to make news for myself, well I'd rather appear on Dancing with the Stars.
Wait wait wait. I thought that THAT was called a Hitler? Or am I getting my obsession with SouthPark mixed up with reality again.
Its 11 pm, I've had a few, and just looking at that photo made the bile (literally) rise in my throat...
This is just from reading the recap, mind you...
Well, at least we'll finally be able to put to rest the whole "Screech is hung like an ox" urban legend, for good or for ill.
For now, I'm just ill.
Man, he must really need money for his house.
Zack died in a motorcycle accident. I heard it from a friend.
I'm looking forward to the Very Special DVD edition in State-of-the-Art Odorama!
Which Saved By the Bell cast member was it who was rushed to Ceders to have his/her stomach pumped because she/he ingested, like, a quart of....oh wait--wrong urban myth.
Has anyone stopped to think what the co-stars of this film might look like? Who would eff screech? That could only add to the horror.
Looks like Gabe Kaplan taking a soak. Didn't he win Celebrity Boxing? Oh yah, he did, but it was against Horseshack.
I feel grody for knowing that.
Hey, Mr. Kaaaattttah!
Now I have that phrase AND the theme song stuck in my head. Thanks.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around...But those dreams have remained and they turned around...Welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back...
Zack did not die in a motorcycle accident. He's very much alive and is doing a movie at the end of this month on the Lifetime Network. Just an FYI.
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