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Jessica Alba
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Cashing In
Alba, McConaughey Offspring Already Slumming It With OK!
Ah, the three trimesters of Hollywood child birth: 1. pretend to love pregnancy, 2. schedule a c-section in order to sidestep any labor or stretching of siren vag, and 3. whore out your newborn's picture to the highest bidder. It's such a magical time! And while there are critics, it's a natural response to choose to splash your baby's face across the tabloids, especially when you constantly publicly reminisce about the good ol' days when you could buy panty liners in private. And why participate in the Hollywood Baby Bonanza? It's not like the early publicity will morph your kid into some kind of poorly mannered fauxhawked skunk. However, it will get you paid.
Matthew McConaughey and frowny-faced pregnancy loather Jessica Alba are the latest celebrities to debut their offspring via fancy photoshoot. But despite the big pay days, both of these deals come with a little bit of scandal.
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I'm Too Sexy For This Interview
Jessica Alba's Dislikes: Babies, Husbands, Actors And Being Pregnant
Okay. Until now, we’d tried to give Jessica Alba the benefit of the doubt. Sure, she’s impossible to watch in any movie she’s ever made, what with her amateur acting skills that include crafted facial expressions such as “I’m Happy, See, Because You Can See My Teeth!” and “I’m Sexy, See, Because You Can See My Bikini-Clad Butt!” And yes, she made pregnancy look like possibly the most miserable state of being, unlike all those other actresses who affected the standard Glow (see Naomi Watts and even Nicole Kidman, incapable of moving her face, yet still dewy and happy ‘til the arrival of her daughter Sunday). But after reading an excerpt from new mom Alba in next month’s UK Cosmo, we think it’s safe to say the actress, who insults all male actors, obsesses over her weight, and shows warning signs of early Husband Emasculation, is on her way to becoming the next Katherine Heigl: More »
Slim Fast
How Do Stars Magically Make Baby Weight Disappear? Money, Insanity, And Tons Of Booze
This probably won't come as a surprise to anyone who witnessed her seemingly hating every minute she spent pregnant, but new mom Jessica Alba has joined that elite niche of stars who lost all their baby weight at insanely rapid speeds. But the methods some celebrities have confessed to using when it comes to accelerating the path towards reclaiming their old figures don’t sound entirely sane. From suffering through cabbage soup diets to dropping $50,000 on gym equipment in an effort to slim down at paces up to 14 days after giving birth, the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Richie and others have some highly unique and scary track records. Which stars drunk themselves into wine-induced oblivion and trusted online blood tests to reach their goals, after the jump. More »
Lists
Diamond-Spotting: Cameron Diaz Latest Star Teasing Us With Rumor-Sparking Sparklers
Shouldn’t single actresses know by now that giant diamonds worn on a particular finger shouldn't be flaunted in public? Cameron Diaz was photographed sporting an ostentatious sparkler yesterday in Santa Monica, suspiciously displaying the gory piece on her engagement ring-reserved finger in a very blatant manner. But considering she’s just barely started dating former cokehead/Jennifer Aniston ex Paul Sculfor, and has been linked to half a dozen other canoodling partners in the past few months, we’re not jumping on the “Diaz Engaged!” bandwagon quite yet. The notoriously anti-paparazzi actress might have just wanted to fuck with her camera-flashing enemies. Still, whenever a star makes the decision to debut a big ol’ gem there, it’s proven tough to gage those inevitable engagement rumors’ validity. We looked back at celebrity diamond-spotting of the past, from the most firm denials that led to splashy weddings, to the sure things that turned out to be false alarms, after the jump. More »AFI Recruits Storied Cineaste Jessica Alba To Deconstruct Film's Greatest Treasures
Everybody loves lists, right? Especially those mystifying annual tallies compiled by the American Film Institute, which lumps together 100 films by style or some other vague calculation of merit upholding AFI's profile in cultural irrelevance. Its latest list mixes things up a little, however, featuring a who's who of talent ruminating on the 100 best "genre" films — from Westerns to sci-fi to mysteries, 10 at a time. But for every Clint Eastwood commentary about The Searchers or Roman Polanski insight about Chinatown, we've got Sean Astin chiming in about Judgment at Nuremberg and Jessica Alba weighing in on... well, we've assembled the greatest hits after the jump. Let it suffice to say that Annie Hall is closer than you might have thought to Alba's self-described, "stomach-turning" neurosis and that Cher is... yeah, she's the best. [AFI]New Video Hints Mike Myers Less Than Two Weeks From Claiming America's Anti-Comedy Crown
Psst! Reader! Yes, you — really quick, do us a favor: Watch the accompanying video to this item and tell us if you saw what we just saw. Granted, we (and pretty much everybody, as far as we know) have yet to view The Love Guru, so perhaps the black hole of comprehension herein is purely contextual. Or maybe it really is as simple as Mike Myers giving back another few years' worth of cultural goodwill as the title character, joining Jessica Alba and a hookah-hitting Verne Troyer in a sitar-heavy, almost scandalously unfunny take on Steve Miller's stoner anthem, "The Joker." Moreover, help us with another thing: Combined with the compounded misfires at the MTV Movie Awards, is Myers slyly usurping the likes of Neil Hamburger as anti-comedy's most powerful talent? Because we could get behind this, if so — except for the Indian guy playing banjo. There is absolutely no excusing Indian banjo players. [Paramount]
births
The Bronze Child Cometh! Jessica Alba and Cash Warren Welcome Baby Girl
Jessica Alba and Cash Warren apparently aren't playing along with the latest "hasty media retraction" trend in celebrity parenting, instead just blithely going along with reports that Alba gave birth this weekend to the couple's daughter Honor Marie Warren. As the actress was due in late May, however, we have no reason to doubt the Bronze Child is among us: "Alba's father was overheard saying, 'She's beautiful,' " US Weekly reported in a bulletproof dispatch from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. "Warren — in a T-shirt, jeans and baseball cap — was spotted carrying food into the maternity ward Sunday."More »
holy war
It's Official: Mike Myers and Rest of 'Love Guru' Principals Doomed to 1,000 Years in Hell
We were sorry to read this week about the certain fiery purgatory awaiting slumping star Mike Myers, pregnant newlywed Jessica Alba and the rest of those associated with the production of The Love Guru, Myers' new "comedy" that drew such scorn last month from spiritual leaders around the country. We now learn that after a bit more finger-wagging and number-crunching, a dreadful trailer is the least the principals — and its viewers — have to worry about: More »
defamer weddings & celebrations
Jessica Alba And Cash Warren Made Husband And Wife
Jessica Marie Alba and Cash Garner Warren were married on Monday in the Beverly Hills courthouse's ceremony room in Beverly Hills, California.
Ms. Alba, 27, is a television and film actress whose first break came being cast as the lead in an updated version of dolphin-adventure children's television series Flipper. She would later rise to prominence playing a genetically enhanced super-soldier on the Fox network's Dark Angel. She became an instant fan favorite for her stunning Latin/French Canadian looks, and it wasn't long before she made the leap to the silver screen, with prominent roles in Honey (2003), Sin City (2005), Fantastic Four (2005), Into the Blue (2005), and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007). Ms. Alba is ranked frequently as one of the most desirable women alive by men's magazines like Maxim and FHM, and has earned such acting accolades as a Choice Actress Teen Choice Award and Saturn Award for Best Actress. She is a graduate of El Roble Intermediate at Claremont and home tutoring.
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hollywood privacywatch
Jessica Alba Is Pregnant, Hungry and Unwilling To Wait In Line
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week (depending on volume), so send them in early and often—without them, we'll surely be forced to endure another Pellicano trial! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Jessica Alba cut in the breakfast line at the Griddle Cafe.
In today's installment: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Kiefer Sutherland, Jay Leno, Goldie Hawn (with Oliver Hudson), Adam Brody, Cheryl Hines, Ali Landry, Davy Jones (singing karaoke, no less!), Casey Affleck, Traci Lords, Marlee Matlin, Dog The Bounty Hunter, Chris O'Donnell, Adam Carolla, Romany Malco, Scott Caan, Dee Snider, Ms. Jay, Robert Culp and more!
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i don't want my mtv
Mike Myers Set To Host MTV Movie Awards, Resuming Sorely Missed Tradition Of Actual Talent At Show's Shaky Helm
The MTV Movie Awards have always managed to deliver one or half a dozen memorable moments worthy of YouTube legacy. But the host of the show has rarely been a factor in determining that year's success story, until the producers' decision to enlist Sarah Silverman last year finally lifted the program's ratings. With last year's success still fresh in their minds, MTV has announced that Mike Myers will helm the 2008 edition, signaling a definitive return to the program's roots. Sixteen years ago, the show premiered with Dennis Miller at the wheel, followed by SNL alum Eddie Murphy, Jon Lovitz, two Jimmy Fallon appearances and of course, Myers' own try in 1997. But recently MTV has rolled their dice with more commercially appealing faces like Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba. We took a look back at the show's hosting history to figure out if the show's host, like love, has anything to do with it. More »
lists
Defamer Rump Day Special: Hollywood's Top Five Butts
When we heard today that Christina Ricci instructed her trainer to give her Jessica Biel's butt for her upcoming role in Speed Racer, we too remembered our longtime fascination with Biel's hard bottom. Even though Justin Timberlake famously praised the back door of Kylie Minogue, we're sure he's doing just fine enjoying his current girlfriend's assets. And considering we've had asses on the brain since Gisele thrust hers into our face this morning, we decided to just declare this Hump Day, well, Rump Day. Herewith, we present our picks for the top five best butts in Hollywood. And not to worry ladies; we'll be sure to devote an upcoming Hump Day to the male stars with the most appealing cushions for pushing.
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technical issues
Kate Hudson Latest Recipient Of A Digital Boob Job
Shocking (shocking!) news has surfaced that yet another flat-chested actress was deemed not voluptuous enough for her movie poster. The lusty marketing team behind Fool's Gold are not fools; they realized that Kate Hudson's no Lindsay Lohan in the breast department. To that end, The Daily Mail is reporting that Hudson's natural A-cups were boosted up to Bs in promotional pictures for the film, possibly in an effort to give Matthew McConaughey's pecs a run for their money. But Kate's not the only cleavage-challenged actress that's been digitally bazoomed on a poster. Anyone remember the titular tales behind Keira Knightley, Jessica Alba, Emma Watson and yes, even Lindsay Lohan's digital enhancements? We do!
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oscars
Oscars 2008: Top Ten Best Dressed Women
Compared to the last few years of beige, gold and altogether safe ensembles, this year's Academy Awards carpet was delightfully packed with surprising silhouettes (Heidi's exaggerated popped collar), feather detail that drifted nowhere near tackiness (Jessica Alba), and form-fitting strapless dresses that made actresses (gasp!) look like they have actual curvalicious figures (Cameron Diaz). Herewith, our glance at who we think stopped the show last night with their expertly picked dresses. More »
recreations
Jessica Alba: Studies In O-Face
Following in the current publishing world trend of putting leading actresses of the day in meticulously art directed recreations of Hitchcock films, naked Marilyn spreads, and other potentially terrifying scenarios, Jessica Alba sat for a series of iconic horror movie tableaus for Latina magazine. The shoot called upon the unsung-serious-actress- trapped-in- the-body-of-a -mindblowing-hottie to reach deeper into her own talent stores than ever before. And reach she did, pulling out every open-mouthed trick in her acting playbook, to put her own imprint on such iconic cinematic moments as (from L to R) Rosemary's Baby, the Psycho shower scene, and the climactic pigeon-attack from Working Girl.
- Latina Magazine [via /Film]
