Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
30 Rock - Alec Baldwin
Monk - Tony Shalhoub
The Office - Steve Carell
Pushing Daisies - Lee Pace
Two and a Half Men - Charlie Sheen

With last year's surprise winner Ricky Gervais out of the mix, the stage is set for Alec Baldwin to take home the first of what will most likely be several Emmys for his role as Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock. Clinching the deal? Baldwin submitted the episode containing this season's instant classic therapy scene:

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
30 Rock - Tina Fey
The New Adventures of Old Christine - Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Samantha Who? - Christina Applegate
Ugly Betty - America Ferrera
Weeds - Mary-Louise Parker

If this is not Tina Fey, Sarah Palin will have all the Emmy voters fired.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Entourage - Kevin Dillon
Entourage - Jeremy Piven
How I Met Your Mother - Neil Patrick Harris
The Office - Rainn Wilson
Two and a Half Men - Jon Cryer

While Neil Patrick Harris has had a career-best year, How I Met Your Mother is still little-seen. The Emmys fear change, especially in the comedy category (five-time winner Candice Bergen and four-time winner John Laroquette both eventually withdrew their names to give other actors a chance), so this award should go to the Pivs in a walk.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Pushing Daisies - Kristin Chenoweth
Samantha Who? - Jean Smart
Saturday Night Live - Amy Poehler
Two and a Half Men - Holland Taylor
Ugly Betty - Vanessa Williams

My Name is Earl's Jaime Pressly took home this award last year, but this time she's not even nominated (neither was dark horse Jenna Fischer for The Office). Kudos to Amy Poehler for becoming the first modern Saturday Night Live performer to score a supporting actor nomination, but Emmy loves a veteran, so we expect this to go to two-time winner Jean Smart.

Outstanding Comedy Series
30 Rock
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Entourage
The Office
Two and a Half Men

Curb Your Enthusiasm is a weak-fill in for last year's nominee Ugly Betty; frankly, we're surprised that the dazzling Pushing Daisies pilot couldn't muster up the votes to fill that fifth slot (the strike-truncated season could have sapped its momentum). All the buzz is with 30 Rock right now — not only did it win in this category last year, but none of its challengers are coming off their best seasons. If anything besides Tina Fey's expertly crafted sitcom wins, we promise to liveblog an episode of Two and a Half Men as penance.

I was outside talking with some of the studio flacks when Piven arrived. He did the posing for the camera thing, then when he entered the party (at the Distillery Room, Boiler District) he walked past the full length poster at the entrance, noticed his picture wasn't on it, and very obviously gestured at the poster with a WTF kind of expression in plain view of everyone crowding around the entrance.

He also had two either very expensive or very skanky hookers with him, and everyone around was rolling their eyes at this.

The last part is the best though: At the actual screening, The Pivster was attending the screening with a buddy of his, and at the last minute made his friend give up his ticket to the Gala Screening, so Piven could bring a hooker in with him instead. Buddy got plain ditched outside the theatre.

Classy! Still, dear reader, caveat emptor — in the end, we can confirm neither the appearance nor livelihoods of Piven's date(s) nor the gravity of his friend's predicament. But there are clues: A slump's a slump, after all (especially for Pivs), and anytime a guy can circumvent the plunging dollar with a strategically placed premiere ticket and his memories of partying with the Stanley Cup, a perfect Northern douche storm can really never be too far off.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Boomp3.com

Entourage star Jeremy Piven spent a good portion of his lunch yesterday wondering why he didn't have any company. Piven asked his waitress at a New York City eatery if she thought that season premiere of his HBO laffer wasn't quite up to snuff. The waitress remarked, "Eh, I missed it. I was watching Mad Men on Sunday night and sort of flipping back and forth between the VMAs." Piven then asked her if she was planning on watching it On Demand, but the waitress shook her head "no", then excused herself by explaining that she needed to get Diet Coke refills over to Table 12.

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Entourage star Jeremy Piven bucked the established order of the fashion world by sporting a pair of white pants after Labor Day in New York City on Tuesday. When asked why he dared to commit a fashion crime this heinous, Piven claimed that his pants weren't white, they were actually vanilla. Piven said, "They're vanilla bean colored — that's what my glam squad told me. Check the catalog."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

• Entourage [HBO]

Boomp3.com

As a charter member of the Hollywood Welcome Wagon, Jeremy Piven did his best to welcome the city's newest resident on the set of Entourage. Piven listened intently as the woman explained her trials and tribulations in the big city of dreams and the differences here and back home in St. Paul, Minnesota. Piven confided to the woman that he also was a reformed midwesterner as well. Piven said, "After you have that first double-double from In-N-Out and watch the sunrise in Malibu and then get grossed out by a tranny on Santa Monica Blvd, you'll never want to go back there." Piven also slipped the woman his business card and said that the card would be for two free drinks at the Green Door on Thursday night.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

JOHN Cusack learned he should stick to acting with his first piece for the Huffington Post Chicago - which was "riddled with more errors than the 2006 Cubs," according to one blogger. Cusack, who was writing about his childhood as a fan of the Cubs, the White Sox, Michael Jordan and Walter Payton, managed to misspell the names of three Cubs players and of playwright Eugene O'Neill. Cusack also erroneously stated that Sammy Sosa played for the '89 Cubs. Finally, the "High Fidelity" star described taking the "express" train to Wrigley Field. There has never been an express to Wrigley. Cusack - whose last two movies, "Grace Is Gone" and "War, Inc.," were both anti-war bombs - also described how he would "scrape together $2.50" to go to a baseball game. "Cusack grew up in a massive house on Sheridan Road," said another reader of the Beachwood Reporter Web site. "It's slightly disingenuous to say he had to 'scrape' together $2.50. I'm thinking that wasn't an issue."

Also, is there really any such person as "John Cusack," or is it an elaborate ruse cooked up by "childhood friend" Jeremy Piven? It's no coincidence that you never see the two of them together anymore... could this be the reason that the Piv was shut out of High Fidelity? Were the CGI costs simply too high? When will the Huffington Post renounce the John Cusack-impersonating Jeremy Piven???

[photo credit: AP]

• Cusack's Strikeout [NY Post]
• Bleary-eyed in Bangkok: Daybreak Memories of Chicago [HuffPo]

Boomp3.com

Jeremy Piven was all smiles as he left popular Los Angeles steak house STK on Tuesday night. Piven told the lens men he had a delicious steak dinner and was thrilled about Michael Phelps' domination in the summer Olympics. One of the paparazzi wasn't sure if Piven's smile was genuine and asked the Entourage star about his fantasy football team. Piven with a large smile said, "Aaron Rodgers for the win!" then disappeared into the darkness of the Hollywood Hills.

[Photo Credit: WENN]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

Jeremy Piven further cemented his reputation as one of the most rebellious actors in Hollywood on Thursday afternoon. The Very Bad Things star boldly drove around Malibu while talking on his cellular phone, which is now an illegal activity in California. Piven said, "Headsets are for nerds ands squares and I'm not a nerd by any stretch of the imagination." Then Piven flexed his muscles and gunned through the light.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

Entourage star Jeremy Piven had a shocking trip to his local bank on Tuesday afternoon. Apparently, the ATM declared that the Pivs had insufficient funds in his account and spit out his ATM card. Piven told the ATM that wasn't cool and quickly re-inserted his card into the machine. Yet as soon as Piven put the card back in, it came back out. Pivs was about to kick the ATM when a bank employee came outside and said, "Oh, hi! The ATM has been on the fritz, telling everybody that they have insufficient funds and junk like that. Sorry for the trouble!" Piven then adjusted his suit jacket and declared that he's seriously considering joining a credit union.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

In between filming scenes for Entourage, Jeremy Piven warned beloved character actor Gary Cole to keep his flirting with female extras to a minimum unless he enjoyed being talked about the Howard Stern show and morning zoo radio shows. Piven said, "There's nothing quite like waking up to a Blackberry full of messages from your buddies on the East Coast talking about how some girl dragged your good name in the mud before getting on the Sybian or letting Beetlejuice throw lunch meat at her ass on the Stern show." Cole thanked Piven for the advice and told him that it wouldn't be an issue, seeing as how he's married.

[Photo Credit: WENN]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Over the weekend, an entrepreneurial online hacker going by the telling name of "Trainreq" posted the two photos of Miley playing dress-up with her iPhone and picking up on that whole wet t-shirt trend to the right and, according to alleged time stamps, they were taken in October 2007, meaning Miley had yet to blow out her 15th birthday candle. Adding an exclamation point to this latest Cyrus Photo Scandal is the hacker's claim that he has "worse pictures" than these. So where oh where could such an underage girl get the inspiration for "artfully" done point-and-zoom collections? Oh, right.

From her Where My Cokepants At? shoot with mother of the century Dina, to enlisting C-listers like Vanessa Minnillo to eat her top off for her, Lindsay Lohan has been a fan of grainy amateur photo shoots for years. Even an occasion as non-momentous as Jeremy Piven's birthday serves as an excuse to put on her best nude-hued bikini and imitate a call girl. So for those of you embarrassingly salivating at Miley and her prematurely dirty mind? Make sure to send a thank-you note to Lindsay and her bountiful assets, without which little girls everywhere wouldn't even know how to mangle their pout into "sexy" mode.

[Photo credits: Egotastic, AOL, Nerve]

• MILEY CYRUS (NOT) NAKED IN THE SHOWER, PLUS A WHOLE NEW SEX SCANDAL [Egotastic]
• MILEY CYRUS NUDE PHOTO [Allies Wireless]

With a flank of beef spitting on the rotisserie, [Hollywood Records exec group] Steal Thunder took the stage. Jeremy Piven got up and beat the heat by keeping the beat on the bongos. Then, Kid Rock decided to rock the stage. [...]

With the Stanley Cup front and centre on stage, [music exec Joey] Scoleri moved from vocals to guitar as Kid Rock (who his friends refer to as Bobby) led the party through 'Rock n' Roll' by Led Zeppelin, 'Gimme Three Steps' by Lynyrd Skynyrd, his own single 'All Summer Long' into 'Sweet Home Alabama' and then concluded with Grand Funk's take on 'Some Kinda Wonderful'. And it was!!

Word filtered through the hills of Malibu that the Stanley Cup was at the Wildmans' Fourth of July party, and guests were surprised to see Tom Hanks and Sylvester Stallone wander into the celebration. "I heard the Stanley Cup was here," said Hanks, who was excited to see hockey's greatest prize.

We encourage you to read the rest of the amazing, boldface-packed account. But for a less rosey-hued take on the day's activities, there's always the NY Daily News's, which doesn't gloss over all the busty Kid Skanks who used it as a makeup mirror. We can only imagine the illicit goings-on we have yet to hear about: perhaps Rock's ingenuity in converting the trophy into a pneumatic whippit-delivery device. Let's just try to enjoy all the good times had by the World's Greatest Hockey Achievement, before the inevitable rehab announcement comes from a sober NHL rep.

• Stanley Cup Journals: 13 [hhof.com]

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Jeremy Piven most certainly felt the burn while jogging in Malibu on Monday afternoon. The Smokin' Aces star reportedly began to cramp up somewhere between mile two and three and attempted to walk it off. Piven slowly walked down the street, hoping that a car full of co-eds from near by Pepperdine University would come by and offer a ride back to his place. Alas, they never did, and Piven was forced to walk hands-on-hips all the way back to his place.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

It's Jeremy Piven vs. Stephen Dorff, round two. The Entourage actor and the pint-size Blade star were both at the Public Enemies wrap party at Bon V lounge in Chicago the other night. "They had a bit of a tiff," said our spy. "Dorff was p - - - ed because it was 'his' wrap party and he thought Piven crashed it."

Dorff has a role in Public Enemies and Piven was in Chicago, his hometown, for a fund-raiser. In 2006, we reported the two had a screaming match at Bungalow 8 after Dorff cut in front of Piven in the bathroom line and Piven called him a "has-been." Piven's rep confirmed they were both at the party, but said they "did not interact."

We've since learned that both accounts are true, with a tense reunion outside the VIP-section velvet rope defused by their mutual disgust of the bouncer's earnest urge to "hug it out, fellas" — preferably somewhere over by the cash bar with the foley interns.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images / WireImage]

• Grow Up, Guys [NYP]

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P.C.U. star Jeremy Piven thought the beach in Malibu was the place to be this summer, but the beaches appeared to be as empty as theaters showing The Love Guru. Piven skipped some stones into the ocean and attempted to build a sand castle before looking for his fellow beach bums. The popular actor caught up with a bronzed beach bum who was hiking up a flight stairs and asked where was everybody was. The bum said, "For starters, it's a Wednesday morning. Everybody's probably at work or just waking up. They're not all blessed like you and me with the ability to play volleyball or just hang out and drink beer and watch the sun fall behind the horizon line. You want to go in together on a case of Pacifico? Dos Equis?"

[Photo Credit: X17]

In today's installment: Britney Spears, Jeremy Piven, Paris Hilton, Vince Vaughn, Jack Black, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Luke Wilson, David Beckham, Dennis Hopper, Gwen Stefani, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jeff Goldblum, Zooey Deschanel, Rainn Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Judy Greer, Phil Spector, Kevin Federline, Morgan Spurlock, Kristen Chenoweth, Judy Greer, Cloris Leachman, John Slattery, Emma Stone, Bijou Philips, Jane Lynch, Dean Cain, John Corbett, Paul Scheer, and more.

SATURDAY, MAY 24
While surrounded by Brody Jenner-looking date
rapists at Happy Endings, I spotted a welcomed sight: Seth Morris, Owen Burke, and Paul Scheer. Joined by a bunch of other UCB comic types upstairs in the corner and looking almost as out of place as me.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4
Saw Cloris Leachman at the Aqua Lounge watching Jeff Goldblum and his band play some jazz standards. Jeff's pretty talented on the keyboard, but the group as a whole made me feel like I was at someone's wedding.

Wednesday afternoon, my friend and I are having our usually mid-week lunch time phone conversation. In mid-conversation he gasps and tells me that he is at Chipotle in BH and David Beckham has just walked in. No f''ing way! David F'ing Beckham in Chipotle! BTW - what's up with that family and Mexican food? Just wish I could get shot in person of David's burrito! hehe

FRIDAY, JUNE 6
Vince Vaughn at the Greek Theatre for A Prairie Home Companion on June 6. Thinking he's a Garrison Keillor fan definitely makes me like him a little more.

Driving on Ledgewood in Hollywoodland today, I saw Phil Spector driving a Mercedes convertible, wearing that crazy giant curly fright wig he dropped in favor of the lesbian pageboy thing he wore in court. He wears it while driving a convertible! How the hell do you bolt that on?

Cuba Gooding Jr. with 2 friends eating sushi at Hana Sushi in Brentwood. He was a lot smaller than I thought he would be and was definately enjoying his wine. He was nice to everyone that came up and talked with him. He was abnormally excited about going to Q's (the pool bar next door). Oh wait, it was beer pong night. I'd be excited too!

SUNDAY, JUNE 8
Judy Greer (aka Kitty from Arrested Development) spotted Friday night at St Nick's Pub on 3rd st, sitting in a booth with friends. Had to stop myself from making a George Bluth reference.

MONDAY, JUNE 9
I love the show Mad Men, so what a thrill to spot Sterling Cooper honcho John Slattery getting his caffeine on at the Starbucks on Main Street in Santa Monica.

TUESDAY, JUNE 10
Former TV Superman Dean Cain swooping down into Beverly Hills for some shopping at Tom's Toys on Beverly Drive.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12
Saw John Corbett at LAX on Thursday. T-shirt, jeans, boots, with tinted Ray-Bans at the Hudson Books. Tall with a paunch that looks just right on him. Looks like a very hip carpenter. No one seemed to notice him even though he's a pretty big dude.

At the Palms in Vegas for a little work and a little fun, CineVegas is happening. I caught the opening night film, The Rocker, and went to the after party at Moon and the cast was there. Emma Stone is stunning in person, her waist is teeny and her skin is all Hollywood teen glow, she was hanging out with who I think was her mom. Jane Lynch was in a cool 50's style dress with pockets, lady is tall and very animated when she talks. Open bar here is a dangerous thing.

I was having dinner at the Mel's on Sunset Blvd. across from Ketchup. As me and my boyfriend got up to leave, I heard an easily recognizable voice. I look down and sitting at a booth with a couple of her friends was the star of Broadway's Wicked and ABC's Pushing Daisies, Kristin Chenoweth. She looked adorable as ever!

FRIDAY, JUNE 13
Around 8 am, I passed the front desk at The Palms and saw Dennis Hopper talking to who I assume was his assistant. He looks good for an older guy, white hair, sharply dressed, short and holding onto a bottle of water. I then head to the elevator and walk past Rainn Wilson in red wayfarers and a golf shirt, he's tall and funny looking, the same as one would imagine. Seemed like he had a long night and was asking where the Coffee Bean was. Later in the day, Bill Pullman came through the casino in a navy blazer, he stopped and took photos with people. There was a CineVegas anniversary party at the Palms Place pool. Hopper, George Maloof and tons of people were there including some guy with a cat perched on his shoulder and Britney Spears. She was seated in a cabana with a velvet rope in front of it where two HUGE security guys minded her and a few friends. She was in a black cocktail dress and sat sipping her drink and was surprisingly pretty. The fake tan didn't look so fake and she looked like she had been styled for the night. I wouldn't have noticed her had it not been for the rope. The whole thing was weird. Like walking past a diorama in the Natural History Museum...The Britney Exhibit. She sat watching the party happen and the party peered at her like she was some kind endangered species....and of course, Prince Paul kept interrupting his set to play her music. Tres surreal.

Jeremy Piven looking very chubby at Zen Zoo, on Vine.

Lunchtime in Beverly Hills near the Chipotle, I THINK I saw Jack Black coming down the sidewalk. He was carrying a bag of fast food, unlike other Bev Hills denizens, who carry bags of ugly empire-waisted dresses. I wasn't super certain it was him...but then I saw that belly, that belly that practically got second billing on Nacho Libre. I hope it was him as I said "Hello, awesome!" as we passed each other on the sidewalk. If it was just another chubby dude, then THAT was terribly embarrassing...

Luke Wilson looking extremely hot at my local pavillion supermarket in Santa Monica. Drove off in his illegally tinted silver porsche and while at the red light, kept raising and lowering his window like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be noticed. Looking very sexy tho.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14
Britney at Palms Place in Vegas. There with one of her enablers and a Russian bodyguard. She was chain smoking cigarettes and eating chicken fingers as she sat by the pool. It's true — she's all class.

Saw Giovanni Ribisi at the carwash on Vermont and Prospect. He smoked a cigarette and read a script while he waited for his car. He kept to himself and was completely unassuming so much so I almost feel guilty sending in this sighting. I wasn't able to see what type of car he drives as my car was finished before his.

At the valet stand at Planet Hollywood, I waited for my keys and looked to my left, there standing beside me was Kevin Federline. He's a little guy, wearing his requisite white t-shirt and baggy shorts. Wasn't impressed. Probably not a coincidence that Britney is in town too. Later that night at the Palms, I saw Bijou Philips perform at another CineVegas party. She sang for a little while and hung out by the pool, her voice wasn't half bad. Spotted Traci Lords waiting for an elevator in stilettos and a tight black dress, she has aged insanely well.

SUNDAY, JUNE 15
In Planet Hollywood, I saw Dwayne Johnson tan, lean and HOT coming down the main escalator going to a screening of Get Smart. He's tall and surprisingly good looking, not bulky or wrestler-esque. He stopped and signed autographs in the casino and had a seriously huge entourage.

Back at the Palms, I saw a sunburned Morgan Spurlock by the pool, handlebar moustache in full effect. Passed by Beastie Boy MCA (Adam Yauch) on the casino floor.

MONDAY, JUNE 16
I saw Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men on the Continental redeye from Newark to LAX. He was dressed just like Pete Campbell in a brown suit and vintage skinny tie, and bopping around the terminal to whatever was on his iPod. Staying in his character's groove I guess, he was only slightly more subdued once on board (first class of course). Much better looking in person than on the show, but an occasional burger wouldn't kill him - the guy is rail thin.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18
Last night I saw doe-eyed indie goddess/ingenue Zooey Deschanel at the Rilo Kiley Show at the Greek. Looked absolutely stunning (and happy), wearing a gorgeous green dress.

THURSDAY, JUNE 19
As we were leaving Juvenex Spa in Manhattan at 9pm, Paris Hilton was just coming in. She was all dressed up and decked out. I guess with the stress of being Paris she needed a massage.

Saw Gwen Stefani and family (including her dad) enjoying dinner at Buddha's Belly on Beverly last night (6/19). Aside from the few annoying paparazzi outside, they were pretty much left alone. Gwen looked gorgeous without all of that caked on makeup!

Jeremy Piven was bent on meeting "Transformers" hottie Megan Fox in the greenroom at Spike TV's Guy's Choice Awards, airing on Sunday. "I don't know you, but I should," said Piven, staring at her like she was a lamb chop.

He went on: "I know you're getting an award." Said an unimpressed Fox: "Do you even know which one?" The "Entourage" star was ready to answer, but she'd already walked away.

Perhaps Piven had caught wind of reports that Fox has been spotted recently unencumbered by her engagement ring from 2008 Guys Choice "Luckiest Bastard" winner Brian Austin Green. ("It's just a placeholder, baby—'til we iron out the details on my 90210-spinoff guest-starring gig and I can get you the rock you deserve...") Still, dude—not cool: TV-ghettoized brahs before Michael Bay-championed hahs, yo.

• Side Dish: Jeremy Piven is out-Foxed [NY Daily News]

“On a recent weekend, Jeremy rode the Planet Hollywood private jet from Las Vegas to Los Angeles and...started chatting about Entourage. [Piven] suggested that it would be fun to have [his seatmate] make an appearance...Jeremy was overheard calling a producer and telling him as soon as the plane touched down in LA.”

So which diva extraordinaire tickled Piven’s pickle so well she earned herself a much-needed spot on the HBO hit? Details after the jump.

Apparently Piven was seated next to one Miss Whitney Houston on the short plane ride in question, and something in her dilated eyes, crack pipe-wounded chuckle, and most importantly, her tightly packed and newly improved cleavage, inspired Jeremy to give this bitch one hell of a hug and offer her a cameo on Entourage. The mind reels just picturing what Piven has in mind — a competitive power agent who lures clients away using a goodie-packed drawer in her office? Turtle's new S&M-loving cougar crush? Ari's ex-wife's new lesbian lover (remember: lesbians are so hot this season)? We can hardly wait for the inevitable gossip stories involving ongoing on-set epic bickering between two of the most self-important stars around today.

[Photo credits: FilmMagic, Wireimage]

• JEREMY PIVEN IS ALWAYS WORKING [Janet Charlton]

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Entourage star Jeremy Piven was all smiles as he was seen exiting a Los Angeles area Coffee Bean. When asked by photographers about his mile long smile, Piven said, "I finally got her number." Then Piven went into great detail about how he had been coming to this particular location for nearly three months straight in an attempt to woo one of the store's employees. The extent of his obsession resulted in his doctor ordering to caffeine and sugar from his diet, but Piven insisted that he wouldn't give up on coffee because he had to get this girl to go out with him. Piven said, "I think part of the attraction for me was the fact that she didn't want anything to do with me. I mean, the past couple of years, it's been like shooting fish in a barrel. But now, having a challenge took me back to the days of when I picking up John Cusack's leftovers and having to be charming... I'll probably text her in a couple of days. Wait the standard amount of days, but I have a good feeling about this one." After Piven left, the paparazzi approached the The Coffee Bean Girl in an attempt to find out if it was, truly, love at first sight. She said, " I didn't know who he was. I don't have HBO or cable, but [co-worker] Kristy was all like, 'Dude, he's so famous. You could be on Pink Is The New Blog if you go out with him.' So Jeremy or, as we like to call him, 'Mr. Large Hazelnut,' just got me on the right day. I hope we go to Teddy's, but not Hyde, cause that's just a block away."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

Jeremy Piven: Piven's sole endearing schtick may be his continuous decision to bring along his mother, acting coach Joyce Piven, as his date to all the big awards show. But considering his history of venomous counter-mom attacks, plus the fact that Joyce trained the far more accomplished John and Joan Cusack, Jeremy is in need of overcoming some very complex issues.

Ben Silverman: The Peacock Prince is, of course, overseeing the show itself, but who better to learn from Ryan how to untangle the apron strings? Despite all the self-love and a head so large we tend to confuse it with a pinata, our Ben has to deal with the fact that his TV exec mother Mary may be responsible for his seat atop the NBC throne. As a NY Magazine story once quoted Mary, "I came home from work one day, and Ben said 'You know what, Mom, [NBC] is my channel and I'm going to run it when I get big.'"

Justin Timberlake: So many issues to work on here! For one thing, Lynn Harless infamously harped on JT for dumping Britney back in the day, tsk tsking him for ruining their Mickey Mouse romance based solely around matching denim outfits. Secondly, like Piven, Timberlake is fond of producing Lynn as his awards show date, despite the fact that she insists on showing more cleavage than Dolly Parton. And after that recent Madonna diss on Ellen, in which Justin essentially bashed all women over 40, we'd like to see Seacrest help these two kiss and make up.

[Photo credits: Wireimage]

• NO ALPHA MALES [NY Post]

Among the many questions we would love to ask Emmy-winning beach yogi Jeremy Piven, one of our most pressing would be how he manages to convince so many bitches to hug him. Somehow the Entourage ringleader has earned himself the Womanizer reputation ever since throwing out his bit-part baldie wigs and zooming package-first into the spotlight. And as we’ve reported in the past, it can’t be due to his masterful pick-up lines. But thanks to a photo shot this weekend, we have ourselves an answer. Piven’s success with women predictably has less to do with his bravado and more to do with one very studly prop.

Yes, Piven has been reunited with his beloved busted Bronco. And now we finally understand why he looked so sad when his ride punked out on him at a gas station last month. It's his babe magnet! Piven and his macho ride were spotted helping a crowd of lost sun worshippers in the middle of the highway on Sunday, and even we must admit that Piven does look the slightest bit more at home in a hooptie than in the back of some random town car.

[Photo credits: Splash via Evil Beet]

• ALWAYS THE GENTLEMAN [Evil Beet Gossip]

We rarely like to take a mental walk down memory lane when it comes to the Most Nauseating Celebrity Hookups of all time, but news of the latest addition has unfortunately led us to revisit the grotesque list. We’ve already seen Liza Minelli and Phantom Of The Plastic Surgery Ward David Gest exchange saliva, Star Jones give Al an awkward lap dance and guiltily pleasured ourselves by witnessing wrinkly charmer Hugh Hefner and his thin lips attach themselves to the Girls Next Door. But after reading about one beach yoga-practicing, SUV-abandoning actor known for generally annoying everyone in Hollywood, and one scratchy-voiced “punk” rock chick known for generally hating everyone in Hollywood playing tongue twister in LA this past Tuesday, we may have a winner. The canoodlers in question, and just how far they went, after the jump:

Yes, sadly but truly, none other than the Pivster and recently divorced singer Pink (whose name makes absolutely no sense anymore considering she is currently Jet Black) were reportedly seen getting "hot and heavy on the dance floor" this week, according to the NY Post. As a source put it, they were "all over each other and dancing really close," which really gives an entirely new meaning to "Hug It Out, Bitch," no?

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage]

• DANCE PARTNERS [NYP]

Jeremy Piven strikes again. The "Entourage" star and cad-about-town had a "knock-down, all-out screaming match" with a brunette by the pool area of Diddy's after-party for his Hollywood Star Walk of Fame ceremony.

Said our spy: "Jeremy was really chewing into the girl." Piven's reps didn't respond for comment.

We're suddenly overcome with the need to rise to Ari's defense: Can a guy with a strong opinion not make his point—albeit at a greatly elevated volume, complexion a deep beet-red, some wayward spittle-flecks landing into the cocktails of nearby guests—without being accused of having lost all sense of social decorum? Look: Ari yells, OK? That's how he communicates. That's how you know he cares. Just ask his mom. When he stops yelling, maybe mentions how nice it is to "finally see Pee-Didds get his due" while glancing over your shoulder at the next hot P.O.A. to saunter onto the veranda—that's when you should start worrying.

• Side Dish [nydailynews.com]

Jeremy Piven makes his [Broadway] debut this fall in a revival of David Mamet's biz satire "Speed-the-Plow." [...]

Piven was last seen on the boards in New York in a 2004 Off Broadway production of Neil LaBute's "Fat Pig." No other casting for "Plow" has yet been confirmed.

Mamet fans will recall the original Lincoln Center production of the three-person play earned much notoriety for its casting of Madonna in the role of Karen, a coverage-penning assistant with integrity and a nice ass. It's a plum role for any young starlet looking to prove her chops on the Broadway boards, and while we're certain the producers have their own casting ideas, we'd like to offer up Lindsay Lohan, who's already proven her ease around Piven in those flesh-colored bikini shots from his Polaroid Beach House birthday party.

• Jeremy Piven speeds to 'Plow' [Variety]

After wisely and deftly ignoring questions from the paparazzi regarding, of all things, Britney Spears' guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother, a wide-eyed Piven hopped into the driver's seat of his safari-ready meat wagon and rode off into the fluorescent light. But apparently even pricey gas guzzlers run out of steam, no matter how utterly awesome their drivers are. As the very sober and coherent observers at the nearby gas station where Jeremy pulled a switcheroo inform us, a $20 bill and salivation over peanuts played major roles in the twisted tale. We await the inevitable minute-by-minute updates on the orphaned car and the triumphant return of its owner from TMZ, surely camped out at the scene of the crime, with fractional interest.

• WHY CAN'T JEREMY PIVEN DRIVE HOME? [TMZ]

• Chicago Hope: Love and Hope [Hulu]

boomp3.com

The valet at the Malibu Nobu asked if, in lieu of the standard tip, he could have a much desired Hollywood moment and "hug it out" with Jeremy Piven. Piven reached for his wallet to only discover that it was full of large bills and slowly went in for the hug.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

Under the influence, we could easily see Vince stripping down to his boxer briefs, coming across a curvy cactus, and mistaking it for long-lost love Mandy Moore. A tearful embrace will ensue, leaving Vince shredded and bloody after Prickly Mandy's thorny rejection. As for Eric, we predict his height complex will disappear as he begins to feel ten feet tall. He will attempt to climb the 5,000 foot-high Ryan Mountain barefoot (to feel at one with the terrain), and fingers crossed, fall to his death. Crew sherpa Drama will abandon the gang after spotting a bikini-clad casting director on the trails. Though it hasn't been confirmed that Ari will tag along, we would enjoy a scene in which he hugs it out with Turtle before devouring his plump limbs. We've been waiting for a Rex Lee spinoff anyway.

• 'ENTOURAGE' GETS PSYCHEDELIC THIS FALL [EW.com]

"It was my hope that in texting both ladies, I would make it onto Page Six, so everybody wins."

Oh yes, everybody wins! Except of course, for Jeremy's lovely model girlfriend, Lillian Grant, who he began dating late last year. How glorious it must feel to wake up in the arms of Ari Gold, fetch the papers and some coffee for your (we assume) demanding darling and hear from Page Six's Richard Johnson that said darling is a cheating liar. The one silver lining? Apparently Piven's go-to pick-up line is "Come meet me." At least that's better than, "Let's hug it out bitch(es)," right?

[Photo Credit: Hollywood Gossip]

• TWO AT A TIME [NY Post]

Elton John 16th Annual AIDS Foundation Oscar Party:

Elton John coddled Best Actress winner Marion Cotillard, while model Petra Nemcova and Sean Penn canoodled all night as the newest couple in Hollywood making their big debut on Oscar night.

Harrison Ford (victim of perhaps Jon Stewart's worst joke of the evening) arrived with the (finally) well-dressed Calista Flockhart; Courtney Love managed to clean up her act; Seal turned the cameras on the cameramen.

Kate Beckinsale proved having kids does not a schlumpy mom make; Portia de Rossi and Ellen DeGeneres continued their Lesbians Are Cool, Just Deal With It Tour; Jeremy Piven took a break from his yoga pursuits to swing by The Rocket Man's shindig.

Other guests included:
Simon Cowell, Sharon Stone, Diddy, Minnie Driver, Heidi Klum, JC Chasez, Chace Crawford, Len Wiseman, Al Roker, Billy Joel, Chris Noth, Chris O'Donnell, Christian Slater, Faye Dunaway, Tara Reid and Zoe Saldana.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images and Wire Image]

[Photos: X17]

• The Pivinator Becomes The Yoganator [X17Online.com]

Instead, we had to settle for Dateline's pre-announcement-show interview with the eventual Best Supporting TV actor winner, during which Piven, answering a question about the ostensible burden of going through life having to hug out every bitch who wants a taste of Gold's iconic agent-embrace, reminds America that he was "lucky enough" to be the creator of the catchphrase; accordingly, he doesn't mind accepting the back-slapping love of his adoring public, although it does make him slightly uncomfortable when the celebration of his genius creeps into his house of worship.

• Dateline NBC [Msnbc.com]

• Metal Skool & Jeremy Piven [YouTube]
• Previously: Local Singer-Songwriter Facilitates Piven's Make-A-Wish Dreams [Defamer]

What happened to Ari? What's his secret pain? Piven: That's something I keep pitching to our writers. I came onto this show late in the game as a hired gun. So I would love to be more a part of ... Oh, I'm saying all the wrong things now.

Keep going, Jeremy. [Laughter] Piven: I don't care about titles or whatever, how you're billed on the back of your chair, any of that stuff. I just like to be in the mix, you know? So you asked: what is Ari's secret pain? I think this show can keep exploring these characters. Like, for instance, what is Passover like at Ari's house? Why does he desperately need to prove himself? It's kind of tragic. I mean, when people meet me, they're usually surprised that I'm so calm. They're disappointed that I don't bark at them.

We're sure it will come as a relief to his Entourage bosses that Piven isn't making a public appeal for a producer title, just taking the opportunity to humbly let the show's writers know that as an artist, he could make Ari's threats to "stab my sword-swallowing assistant to death with his own dismembered cock" if he fails to promptly roll an important call seem more validly motivated if the audience gets to see the volatile agent bickering with his family over their Passover plans in the preceding scene.

• The Emmy Entourage [Newsweek]