Defamer

Posts Tagged “

Gossip, Paris Hilton

”
clone wars

Don't Get It Twisted, Blake Lively Is Nothing Like Paris Hilton

Any way you slice it, Gossip Girl star Blake Lively is having one helluva year. Not only is her show a big hit (online, that is), but she's starring in the anticipated sequel to Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants, she got to spend a few minutes flirting with David Letterman and she landed herself on the cover of the new issue of Vanity Fair (and didn't even have to pose with McLovin to do it!). One would think all would be well in Blake Lively's world. However, one would be wrong. You see, there's this pesky problem issue of people getting her confused with Paris Hilton that is, like, so frustrating and stuff to her! As she explains in the new issue of Seventeen:

"Since I have a dog and blond hair, that must mean we're alike. It's a dumb thing to say. I don't think that makes us similar," Lively tells the new issue of Seventeen. "I don't know her, but I don't like being compared to anyone by somebody who doesn't know me. I'm my own person. I don't go to clubs, I don't party, I don't dance on tables and I don't like sex tapes."

More »

1:50 PM on Tue Jul 1 2008
By Mark Graham
3,421 views, 9 comments

Latest by Oxycontinmoron: "Since I have a dog and blond hair, that must mean we're alike. It's a dumb thing to say. I more »

gossip

1 Slight In Paris

Hey, did you know it's Friday? That means it's time for a probably apocryphal (but nonetheless enjoyable) gossip-crumpet from the dirt-dishing troublemakers from 'cross the pond: More »

12:21 PM on Fri Jul 8 2005
By Mark
601 views

gossip

The New And Improved Paris Hilton Burger Ad


The clever folks at Accolo (we didn't have the attention span to figure out what they do, but whatever it is, we're hiring them) have found lost footage from Paris Hilton's infamous burger-fellating ad and cobbled together a far sexier version. We apologize in advance for any unexpected tumescence during your first cup of coffee of the day.

8:55 AM on Thu Jun 16 2005
By Mark
1,233 views

gossip

Short Ends: Nothing Left In The Tank

· Even on a day where seemingly anything can happen, we still can't bring ourselves to believe that Paris Hilton's going to hang up the nightvision vagina and retire herself from the public eye.
· How many of these Jacko headlines will wind up atop tomorrow's tabloid stories?
· It's just like the Beverly Hills Hotel, but everyone's fucking in exchange for money instead of...well, it's exactly like the BHH.
· "Michael Jackson has been found not guilty of all charges in his child molestation case. Now what?" We think we don't need to spell out the punchline for you. But Slate will tell you "how Michael Jackson got off."

5:26 PM on Mon Jun 13 2005
By Mark
938 views

diary

Short Ends: Strippers Make Fine Character Witnesses For Slater

· ; Four out of five Scores strippers agree: Christian Slater's a gentleman! "'It's difficult for some men to remain calm when I take off my gown and reveal my 36Ds,' Scores stripper Logan confided to PAGE SIX, 'but Christian always remains cool — he has never attempted to touch me inappropriately.'" Also: Gawker retraces Slater's pre-ass-grabbing steps.
· Paris and Paris might not have a Kabbalah wedding (shocker!), but we're sure they'll still be plenty of trendy assholes who think they're immortal to go around.
· The MPAA does what it can to help the LAPD usher in the Big Brother state. [via Cinemocracy]
· No one could've seen this coming: Judge Issues Warrant for Bobby Brown

5:44 PM on Wed Jun 1 2005
By Mark
115 views

gossip

Paris Pledges Eternal Love To Paris


The world has now been made aware that Paris Hilton, the closest thing we'll ever see to a being made of pure, uncut fame, is engaged to Greek shipping heir and Hilton self-love franchisee Paris Latsis. And you know what? More »

9:07 AM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
170 views

gossip

Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr. Ad: Here Come The Burger-Selling Protests

In threatening to protest the new, "scandalous" Carl's Jr. commercial featuring celebutante skanktron Paris Hilton (in which a scantily-clad Hilton seductively washes a car, inserts a garden hose into her vagina, then fellates a cheeseburger as water sprays out of her ears like a fireplug in an economically-depressed area on a hot summer day), the watchdog group Parents Television Council demonstrates an admirable grasp of advertising principles: More »

11:05 AM on Tue May 24 2005
By Mark
1,104 views

gossip

Paris Hilton Hacking Solved

With a journalistic precision usually reserved for the unethical shenanigans of world leaders, the WashingtonPost.com has finally solved the mystery of how Paris Hilton's Sidekick was hacked, spilling the celebutante's softcore lesbian phonecam photography, private e-mails, and all-star address book all over the internets. Phone calls were made, T-Mobile employees were conned, and shortly after gaining access to Laurence Fishburne's Sidekick and taunting him with obvious Matrix jokes, the hackers moved on to a bigger, more vacuous target: More »

12:45 PM on Thu May 19 2005
By Mark
1,517 views

gossip

The Curious Case Of Nicky Hilton's Shutterbug Pal

We hate to get all Bloodhound Gang on you, but we need to solve this mystery by the end of the second commercial break (we would've dropped the Encyclopedia Brown reference, but were afraid you'd accuse us of going too highbrow): More »

12:30 PM on Wed May 18 2005
By Mark
146 views

gossip

You Asked For It: Paris Hilton Has Never Heard Of Blogs

From time to time, we willfully ignore a story until we receive so many e-mails about it that it will no longer be denied. So now at the risk of appearing blog-Paleolithic by bringing you this quote (its been bouncing around for a couple of days now on the wire), we give you "Paris Hilton Pretends Not To Know What A Blog Is" [cue flourish of horns]: More »

12:34 PM on Thu May 5 2005
By Mark
185 views

gossip

Paris Hilton Gets Her Mouth Around Carl's Junior


The above pic (click it for a bigger version), supposedly straight from the set of Paris Hilton's "too hot for TV" Carl's Jr commercial, is spreading around the internets courtesy of a do-gooder whom we're sure has absolutely no vested interest in promoting the fast-food chain or the press-whoring celebutante's attempts at burger-fellating semi-outrageousness. Some good might actually have come out of this, however. If you imagine that the angry fetus who threatens to rip out his mom's uterus in an earlier Carl's commercial is actually inside Paris, that ad campaign finally starts to make some sense.

11:59 AM on Mon May 2 2005
By Mark
2,614 views

diary

Short Ends: Is America Voting For the Worst?

· Is the website VoteForTheWorst.com responsible for the confounding, continuing success of Scott "The Big, Scary, Out of Tune Baby" Savol on American Idol? Who knows? We still like our pet theory: Most people who bother to vote on AI have incredibly shitty taste.
· Also, did you get a debilitating case of the retarded tingles when Paula Abdul nearly broke down when Constantine got sent home last night, just like we did? Someone really needs to get that woman some horse tranquilizers or she might not make it to the end.
· Sounds like a great idea, but we're probably going to end up skipping it.
· This Sploid shift memo is going to get someone on MSNBC fired, sued, killed, or disappeared, once Tom Cruise finds out about it.
· A dangerous combination of weight loss and lip-collagen injections has made Lindsay Lohan very, very paranoid.

6:00 PM on Thu Apr 28 2005
By Mark
116 views

gossip

The Agent Dance: Endeavor Gets Herpes Hilton

The THR reports that Endeavor has been delivered a little bundle of tabloid-swaddled joy, as Paris Hilton has signed with the the agency to handle all aspects of her...what exactly does she "do," outside of, you know, the night-vision doggystyling and the VIP room vagina-flashing? Perhaps that's why she needs the agency—to focus and assist the more efficient monetizing her assets. In any case, a word of advice to her new shop: When you're fucking Paris, you're fucking every agent she's ever been with. Be safe. More »

9:04 AM on Fri Apr 22 2005
By Mark
506 views

gossip

Paris And Nicole: This Is What Happened

[File under: "Stories We'd Hoped Would Go Away If We Ignored Them, But Still Wind Up In the Inbox A Dozen Or More Times"] More »

10:15 AM on Thu Apr 21 2005
By Mark
1,580 views

gossip

Paris Hilton: Bathroom Stall Etiquette Edition

This Page Six report about Paris Hilton and Kimberly Stewart's adventures at a local club allows us to revisit some of the rules of Hollywood bathroom etiquette: More »

9:16 AM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
1,328 views

diary

Short Ends: WWPHC? (What Would Paris Hilton Charge?)

· What's Paris Hilton's time potentially worth? $250,000 an hour, but this is according to a crazy pimp in Bellevue and it's only if she's on her back or assuming the doggystyle position. Fascinating. Who knew she could be such an earner?
· HBO enables a third season of Old West fuckin' and cocksuckerin' by picking up more Deadwood.
· Super Mario delivered a petition to honorary Hollywood mayor Johnny Grant to include video game characters on the Walk of Fame. After he handed over the petition, he joined the other people in cheap movie costumes in front of the Chinese Theater for a lively session of hitting the crackpipe.
· Reason number 24 why you should love that Burger King commercial with Hootie: "The Twin Black Cowboys. They are obviously exhausted from banging all the chicks at The Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch, so now they just want to lay down and have a snack."

3:28 PM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
167 views

gossip

What's In Paris' Ashtray?


The Cityrag blog alerts us to these Paris Hilton pics on the JJB message board. Remember, kids; Don't bake and drive, or you might find yourself buying a pair of David Lee Roth's sunglasses from the Just a Gigolo video before the high wears off.

9:09 AM on Tue Mar 22 2005
By Mark
200 views

gossip

Guerrilla Marketing At Kitson


Someone managed to slip a sticker advertising the latest Hilton-flavored t-shirt (from the litigation-loving entrepreneurs who brought you the Save Mary-Kate shirt) on the celebutante's retail mothership. Not bad, but sales would really soar if they can find a way to sticker a higher-traffic area, like the inside of Hilton's vagina. Dream big, kids.

12:11 PM on Mon Mar 7 2005
By Mark
107 views

next »