Defamer

Short Ends

Crazy Andy Comes Alive!


· Thighmaster Records proudly announces the forthcoming greatest hits package from Andy Bernard, The Office's beloved rageoholic crooner.
· As fun as standing in a field and roasting in 100-degree weather sounded to us, we somehow never got around to buying tickets for Coachella. But here are a shitload of videos from the festival, and a link to LAist's exhaustive coverage.
· Haley Joel Osment gets behind the wheel again.
· A former American Idol contestant is in legal trouble. Must be Monday!
· Lionsgate will find out if a post-Virginia Tech America is ready for some fresh torture porn.

7:12 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Mark
1,174 views, 2 comments

Latest by s00p3rm4n: @Adele H: Like Phoenix but without the charm and culture? more »

pong-trophy.jpg defamer athletic dept.

Assistant Beer Pong Tourney Tainted By Hostage Situation


For a third straight year, controversy has rocked the annual Assistant Beer Pong Tournament*, an ostensibly peaceful affair aimed at promoting unity with the local call-rolling community through the reliably combustible combination of friendly competition and binge-drinking. A little while ago, an anonymous e-mailer identified only as "Beer Pong" (what this fiend lacks in creativity he makes up in brazenness) informed us that he has "hijacked" the trophy earned by upstart Gold Circle on Saturday night when they defeated the evil minions of CAA (we're told their bosses forced them to undergo experimental surgery to equip them with secondary livers to ensure victory), a hostage that will be returned only after an undisclosed ransom is paid by the event's organizers. We pass along this photo of the kidnapping victim to assist in its speedy recovery; should you see the trophy on your assistant's desk and wonder why he's suspiciously short on details of the supposed heroics that brought him the championship, please contact the authorities immediately. More »

6:13 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Mark
1,949 views, 2 comments

Latest by GorgeousGeorge: @TheStarterWife: "I know I said this already this morning, by why did they do this the same weekend as Coachella?" Because more »

spector - Defamer celeb juriprudence

Phil Spector: Five Decades Of Crazy

The testimony in the Phil Spector case took an unforeseen hiatus today, as defense attorney Bruce "Murder on Their Minds" Cutler has fallen ill. (In other news, high stress and hopelessness have been proven to wreak havoc on the immune system.) While we wait for the next disturbing chapter to play out on the witness stand, Radar Online provides a handy chronological compendium of half a century's worth of Phil Spector's patented brand of violent, gun-brandishing batshit insanity. It makes for stunning reading, beginning with a possibly formative 1958 incident in which the producer was urinated on by four pranksters in a public restroom, continuing to his days of fatherhood in the 1970s, when he'd allegedly lock his sons in their rooms, occasionally allowing them out so he could blindfold them and subject them to humiliating sex acts. Here's an entry about former wife Ronnie Spector née Bennett, the lead singer of The Ronettes: More »

5:56 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Seth
6,329 views, 13 comments

Latest by Trai_Dep: Spector's forcing one of his nine-year-old sons to "simulate sex acts" on his lady friends pretty much did it for more »

cour - Defamer premium yard sales

Courtney Love To Make Kurt Cobain's Leftover Crap Work For Her

Recovering perfection addict Courtney Love (who recently combined forces with one of the world's most talented airbrush artists for this NSFW nude portfolio in Pop Magazine) has told the music website Spinner.com she's tired of holding on to Kurt Cobain's mildew-gathering collection of grungy sweaters, flannel shirts, novelty sunglasses, and the like, and has decided to put the entire collection up for auction at Christie's: More »

4:50 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Seth
968 views, 13 comments

Latest by mindful_indulgence: my, heroin must be expensive these days. charity = those condo fees i owe in nyc, unpaid rehab bill, future more »

- Defamer To Do

Bird, Mindfreak, Groundlings

· Music round-up; Andrew Bird at Amoeba; My Brightest Diamond at the Troubadour; Cornelius at the El Rey.
· Illusionist Criss Angel (surely you're familiar with his fine work on A&E) will be at Book Soup to sign Mindfreak: Secret Revelations from the Master of Surreality; warning: minds will be freaked and panties melted. Come prepared for both.
· The Groundlings are throwing an all-star charity show to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society; among those scheduled to appear: Jai "The One Who Never Had A Real Job To Do on Queer Eye" Rodriguez, MadTV's Phil LaMarr, Mindy "Frau Farbissina" Sterling, Michael McDonald, and...many more than we care to retype on this list. More info here.

4:21 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Mark
411 views, Comment

when famous people swear into hot mics

Bruce Willis Just Really Loves Playoff Basketball


Never once in the above clip (thanks to Deadspin for bringing this joy into our lives on a Monday afternoon) do we see any booze cross suspiciously enthusiastic action star and proud New Jerseyian Bruce Willis' lips during this interview at a break in yesterday's Nets-Raptors game, so it would unfair to attribute his slurry, semicoherent endorsements of both his companion's promising career and his new movie to alcohol intoxication; clearly, his potshot at Cybill Shepherd, his seemingly insane claim that this summer's Die Hard sequel is better than the original, and his "Yippee-kai-yay, motherfucker!" sign-off were fueled by the excitement of playoff basketball, and not by enough $14 jumbo Bud Lites to kill an actor of half his tolerance. More »

3:51 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Mark
4,448 views, 5 comments

Latest by s00p3rm4n: What we learned: Bruce Willis' idea of a compliment is telling someone their career is more active than Cybill Shepherd's. more »

hilton-scultpure.jpg Paris Hilton

One Night In Paris 2: The Autopsy


Daniel Edwards, the Brooklyn-based sculptor who gifted the world with works featuring a crowning Britney Spears splayed on a bearskin rug, and the gilded "first poop" of Miracle Baby Suri Cruise, is back again. This time, he turns his celeb-obsessed chisel to Hollywood's supreme scenewhore, in an anti-DWI work entitled "Paris Hilton Autopsy": More »

2:50 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Seth
33,912 views, 14 comments

Latest by The Authority: Okay, all kidding aside. This is art. This guy's work is exciting. It makes a statement and God knows we more »

vics - Defamer Breaking

Trader Vic's Last Gasps?: Update

Sad news: Trader Vic's—Beverly Hills's Polynesian cocktail temple and a cherished relic of swinging, bygone Hollywood era—may have finally served its last mai tais and pupu platters, according to e-mails flooding Eater LA's inbox:
More »

1:47 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Seth
7,285 views, 22 comments

brian-grazer-headshot14.jpg Trade Round-up

Imagine Gets Into The Frank Langella Business For 'Frost/Nixon'


· Frank Langella will reprise his stage role as Nixon for Imagine's big screen version of Peter Morgan's celebrated play, Frost/Nixon. The casting suggests director Ron Howard will remain true to the source material, though that doesn't completely rule out Akiva Goldsman being brought in for an eleventh-hour rewrite that incorporates several make-believe characters that exist only in the disgraced President's paranoid imagination. [Variety]
· In further Imagine news, Ridley Scott signs on to direct Russell Crowe in Nottingham, the "Robin Hood but where the Sheriff's the good guy" movie, hoping the two can reignite Gladiator, not-so-much A Good Year, magic. [Variety] More »

1:05 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Seth
1,375 views, 16 comments

Latest by mrstanseloy: @SugartitsMcFirecrotch: shhhh. don't give them ideas.... more »

d220316ed64fe511d7d0e9a70f6e74ec.jpg Defamer Counterpoint

Thomas Dekker Claims He's The Unfair Victim Of Hollywood Pinkballing

Last week, Heroes co-EP Bryan Fuller said in an interview that the character of Zach (actor Thomas Dekker) was supposed to have come out as a gay teen, but that his management, concerned that it might affect his casting as young John Connor in a Terminator TV series, balked at the prospect and pulled him from the show. A Defamer reader forwarded us Dekker's own response to the controversy, posted in a MySpace bulletin. An excerpt: More »

12:08 PM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Seth
5,044 views, 21 comments

Latest by CapnCalamity: Ummm, acting kinda is "creating" a character, since you fill in the backstory that isn't there. In a pilot more »

obamamania

Obama Campaign Takes Message To Hollywood's VIP Booths


Hoping to reach the next generation of politically minded entertainment industry influencers who one day might achieve enough success to throw him lavish, billionaire-courting fund-raisers at their Carbon Beach compounds and kneecap his rivals in the pages of the NY Times, the Obamamania Campaign Hummer pulled up to the valet stand at Boulevard3 on Saturday night, an attempt to reach Hollywood up-and-comers in the environment in which they're most comfortable: a club the LAT describes as a "one-stop shop for conspicuous nightlife consumption. Variety reports on the scene at Barack Obama's weekend trip to Sunset Boulevard: More »

10:53 AM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Mark
5,413 views, 8 comments

Latest by chiefpayne: Oh Jesus! Hanoi Jane was there? Doesn't he realize this will totally alienate much of the military vote? Of more »

labeouf-disturbia.jpg monday morning box office

Shia LaBeouf Threepeats

Take some time to review the weekend box office numbers, the only thing that can temporarily distract you from your Garfieldian dread of Monday mornings: More »

9:38 AM on Mon Apr 30 2007
By Mark
3,895 views, 5 comments

rosie - Defamer Week in Review

The Clip Show: Rosie's Work Here Is Done

· It's not like she's really leaving! She's coming back to do one-hour specials on autism and depression and child abuse and stuff! Maybe we're just in denial.
· Trouble at the Baldwins': 8½ leaks. Parting ways with CAA. The Dora connection. NBC stands by their embattled series lynchpin. Opening up on The View.
· Jack Valenti dies.
· SpectorWatch: They had murder on their minds!
· Agencies jockey for space around Century City food court's In-N-Out Baby.
· Ivy League Ice Cream Day at ABC.
· Val Kilmer's bowel-voiding needs met on set of Echo Park movie shoot.
· What really went down with Heroes' gay-seeming non-gay.
· What really went down with American Idol's gay-seeming non-gay.
· "Yo— Fox Earth Day: Suck my tailpipe."
· Brett Ratner available to judge your parody and sincere filmmaking efforts.
· Joe Francis has 35 days to think about what it is he's done.
· "I'm not drinking any fucking Merlot, y'all!"
· And finally: Hawking flies.

7:45 PM on Fri Apr 27 2007
By Seth
3,011 views, 2 comments

Latest by raincoaster: Great, can we lock down the webcasting rights now? That would be teh awesome. Also: In-N-Out Baby? Forget t-shirts: I think more »

Short Ends

Spinal Tap Pledges To Fight Global Warming By Reducing Spontaneous Drummer-Combustion Emissions


· Spinal Tap reunites, with semi-amusing results.
· There's nothing at all weird about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' marriage, says official Scientology spokesfriend Jenna Elfman.
· Tracy Morgan to saw off own foot, go on bender.
· Thora Birch finds the idea that her dad tried to direct her sex scene absurd. That's not how movie sets work, silly tabloids!
· Warning: Under no circumstances should you refer to Hunter Tylo's rack as shelf-like, as that apparently angers her lawyers. Also: Who's Hunter Tylo?

7:12 PM on Fri Apr 27 2007
By Mark
2,089 views, 5 comments

Latest by Whiteboyfunfark: So nice to see Jenna working again, however. She really IS a comic genius....how DOES she say those things and more »

60return.jpg studio 60 cancellationwatch

NBC Gives You A Chance To Say A Proper Goodbye To Matt, Danny, Jordan, And Lobster Boy


NBC's website quietly brings good—nay, great, shout-Huzzah!-to-the-heavens-and-slaughter-the-fatted-calf—news to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip's legion of affluent, upscale, and long-suffering fans: The show will return to the airwaves on Thursday, May 24, presumably to burn off the remainder of its first-season episodes, just one day after the end of May sweeps and a week after the network is expected to announce a Sorkin-free Fall lineup at the upfronts. Of course, maverick NBC president Kevin Reilly could shock the world by taking the stage in NY and announcing he's giving the show another 22 episodes, explaining to a room full of disbelieving advertisers, "Come on, it's Aaron Fucking Sorkin! He made The West Wing! I know this sounds crazy now, but If you'd read his breakdown for the second season, where Matt and Danny decide to run in the presidential primary against Obama and Hillary, you'd understand. It's going to work this time, I can really feel it." More »

6:01 PM on Fri Apr 27 2007
By Mark
4,825 views, 2 comments

Latest by Xenu: What if we never wanted to say a proper hello to them to begin with? more »

winkler.jpg To Do

Your Weekend Of Touching The Stars

Friday
· The Not For Tourists guide is throwing itself a party from 6-9 pm to celebrate its new Los Angeles edition at Footsie's. Free cans of PBR and free guidebooks if you get there early enough.
· Get up close and personal (but not too close! These are stars!) to Erik Estrada, Tom Bosley, Butch Patrick, Henry Winkler, and many, many more famous people of similar quality at the Hollywood Collectors and Celebrities Show at the Burbank Airport Marriott Hotel & Convention Center, today and Saturday.
· Music round-up: It's Gwen Stefani (and more importantly, Lady Sovereign) at the Gibson Amphitheatre; The Cinematics at Spaceland; Grant Lee Phillips at the Troubadour.
Saturday
· Wondernig where you can see a musical about Erasmus Darwin, Charles Darwin's doctor/scientist/poet grandfather? At the Machine Project, that's where.
· Meltdown Comics on Sunset hosts a tournament of War on Terror: The Boardgame, this Saturday and Sunday. The designers of the game will be on hand to make sure participants pay proper respect to their creation.
Sunday
· Want to learn how to put up your own website, all free-like? Then I NEED A WEBSITE RIGHT NOW sounds like it may interest you.
· More music: Travis at the Henry Fonda; Arctic Monkeys at the Troubadour.

5:13 PM on Fri Apr 27 2007
By Mark
520 views, Comment

larry-dannielynn.jpg larry birkhead

Last Legal Roadblock To Dannielynn's L.A. Homecoming Crossed

A final attempt by Anna Nicole Smith's tenacious, pug-faced mother Virgie Arthur to prevent paternity sweepstakes winner Larry Birkhead from returning to the U.S. with daughter Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern Birkhead (according to her reissued birth certificate!) has been shot down by a Bahamian court: More »

4:55 PM on Fri Apr 27 2007
By Seth
3,193 views, 7 comments

Latest by Hyman Decent: @Scout: No way! Not only is there the matter of Marshall's estate, but there's going to be another court hearing more »

arquette - Defamer the final cut

What's Between Alexis Arquette's Legs Is None Of Your Business

Having concluded that her popular drag persona wasn't satisfactorily scratching her transgendered itch, Alexis Arquette opted to kick it up a notch and commit to the whole sex-change shebang. Alexis Arquette: She's My Brother, premiering Monday at the Tribeca Film Festival, is the story of that transformation. But, as she told reporters at yesterday's press conference, all the juicy stuff about the actual surgery has ended up, for lack of a better expression, on the cutting room floor:
More »

3:39 PM on Fri Apr 27 2007
By Seth
10,685 views, 9 comments

Latest by HwoodHills: @HwoodHills: I'm sorry you didn't get the joke. (I always assume Defamer readers are sarcastically literate.) more »

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