Defamer

Week in Review

The Clip Show: The End Of The Roosevelt Era

· Displaced celebrity refugees will soon be seen wandering the streets, confused and afraid, as the Roosevelt Hotel buys out Amanda Scheer Demme's contract, shutting down Teddy's and the Trop.
· Stacey Snider is finally free to head over to DreamWorks.
· The Pellicanist: Could Bert Fields stubborn Pellicano-stink be driving his co-workers elsewhere?
· George Clooney has a plan to foil those rascally no-goodniks at Gawker.
· When Mitch Hurwitz says Arrested Development's over, it's over. Sort of.
· A stuntman sues Mission: Impossible 3 for being burned so severely, he can no longer sleep with his wife. We're sure M:i:III star Tom Cruise can totally empathize.
· Star Jones wants everyone to know that that desperate call to 911 as she almost bled to death was really no biggie.
· Because Crash winning Best Picture wasn't bad enough, we now have "Crash Day."
· Santino Rice is a yard sale-having dreamboat!
· Matt LeBlanc to re-team with Matthew Perry in no-camera reality show about two ex-sitcom stars hitting LA's club scene looking to get laid.
· GLAAD gives its trophy to the gay cowboys.
· Happy Birthday, Brett. May all your Broadway dreams come true.
· Wouldn't it be fun to see the Arquettes show up wasted and get into a violent melee at the podium?
· Aw, don't worry Whitney. A little Comet will get that right off.
· Now we know what that huge protest march was all about.
· Ryan Seacrest makes out with Teri Hatcher's nostril.
· Paula Abdul's not going anywhere. (And not just 'cause she's drugged unconscious.)

5:39 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Seth
83 views, Comment

Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone's 'Basic' Demands

As our much rounded-up Sharon Stone Crazywatch Week draws to a close, we thought we'd draw the fun out just a little bit longer by sharing Stone's Instinct 2 rider, which you may recall was first made available by The Smoking Gun a few years ago during one of the interminable legal proceedings that kept her big comeback vehicle from getting off the ground. There's plenty here to scoff at, from demanding her own Pilates equipment (did she mention she gets naked in the movie?) to a $3500/week per diem (crazy don't come cheap!) to a ban of all on-set cigar smoke (despite, TSG points out, having been Cigar Aficionado's Jan '04 cover girl). And sure, two assistants and three nannies might seem excessive, but when you see the results on the screen, we think you'll agree it was all worth it. More »

4:29 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Seth
196 views, Comment

lugosi.jpg To Do

To Do: Your Weekend Of Foolishness

Friday
· March-ending music round-up: Lucinda Williams at the El Rey; Nous Non Plus at Spaceland; The Dan Band at Avalon; Her Space Holiday at The Troubadour.
· Filmmaker and Andy Warhol Factory worker Mary Woronov presents the 1931 Bela Lugosi version of Dracula at the Skirball.
Saturday
· April Fool's Day music (though shows are real, as far as we can tell): Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins at the Orpheum Theater; IV Thieves (formerly Nic Armstrong and the Thieves) at Spaceland; The Cloud Room and Film School at the Troubadour.
· Not to disrespect any of the other poets on the bill at Beyond Baroque in Venice on Saturday, but: Viggo!
· Aimee Bender, Morgan Murphy, Jessica Chaffin, and a cast of thousands join writer Jill Soloway's Heaping Portion 2 at IO West, a celebration for "for Jews and the people who love them."
Sunday
· Just because the LA Derby Dolls are merely scrimmaging at the Y in North Hollywood doesn't mean that someone's not going to lose a tooth.
· It's Sunday night, so let's take it easy, OK?: UCLA Live presents Billy Collins and Mary Chapin Carpenter for An Evening of Spoken Word and Song at Royce Hall.

3:55 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Mark
69 views, 1 comment

Latest by People Paula: Also LACMA is having their 40th anniversary celebration all weekend... more »

Ted Casablanca

The Blind Item Guessing Game: In Through The Out Door: Your Answers

We'd hate to send you off to the joyful annihilation of happy hour without getting to your blind item guesses, so let's close that account, shall we? But first, re-sample the pillow-biting wonders of One Tuchis-Time Blind Vice: More »

3:23 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Mark
568 views, 7 comments

Christopher Walken

Christopher Walken Knows True Romance


The brilliant recurring SNL sketch known as "The Continental," in which the camera plays unwilling love interest to Christopher Walken 's lecherous faux-sophisticate, has somewhat tarnished the actor's image as a legitimate leading man. Let this montage, then, be the tonic that successfully returns Walken to his rightful place in our collective id as full-fledged pansexual lust object. Set to the purring moans of Serge Gainsbourg's classic "Je t'aime... moi non plus," the video strings together every passionate kiss, caress, and embrace in the Walken canon, making it not unlike an all-Walken version of the final scene of Cinema Paradiso. Dim the lights, open a bottle of Pinot, and watch it with someone you love. (video NSFW)

3:14 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Seth
602 views, 1 comment

Latest by whytee: Walken has forgotten more ass than most of us will ever get. more »

ratner-point.jpg Brett Ratner

But What He Really Want To Do Is Badly Direct A Musical

The best part of inevitable blockbuster X:3 may turn out to be the publicity blitz that precedes the movie's release, if for no other reason than various press obligations have granted us unprecedented access to the endlessly fasincating mind of fauxteur Brett Ratner. In the last couple of weeks alone, we've been allowed to vicariously experience a day of unparalleled starfucking, gained some insight into Ratner's casting methodology, and in this recent, fan-submitted Q & A, learned a little bit about the director's hopes and dreams: More »

2:32 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Mark
109 views, 1 comment

Latest by metroville: Doesn't a director's work have to possess an aesthetic before it can qualify as an aesthetic disaster? more »

inside-britney.jpg Will & Grace

'Will and Grace' Finale Spoiler: Do We Need To Tell You Jack Wears A Dress?

It's hard to believe that the current 8th season of Will & Grace will be its last, a mere five seasons after it first started running out of clever double-entendres for ass-fucking and, by extension, quickly began to overstay its welcome. Sure, they managed to grab our attention from time to time, usually by dangling gimmicks and guest stars in front of us like a shiny set of rainbow-colored keys, but at the end of the day, it was really impossible to escape the Eric McCormack-ness of it all. Blogger Mr. Nightlife attended a taping of the first part of the two-part season finale, and was more than eager to ruin the surprise for everyone. Here's an exerpt (and gigantic, series-ender spoiler alert): More »

1:20 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Seth
1,265 views, 2 comments

Latest by Trixie from Toronto: This is another Defamer classic. My head hurts from laughing. more »

Advertisers

Advertiser Idol Worship

Join us in slaughtering the fatted calf in tribute to this week's sponsors, whom we worship with the fervor of a Kool-Aid gulping cult. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and enjoy the same kind of amazing devotion, see this page. More »

12:25 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Mark
59 views, Comment

Trade Roundup

Trade Round-Up: SuperBulge Enters The Third Dimension

· Fox's new teen-obsessed division is starting to pull its shit together, finally choosing a name (Fox Atomic) that seems like it's trying to capture the attention of Nickelodeon-obsessed 11-year-olds. But what do we know? We didn't spend tens of thousands on branding research, so we probably would've gone with Fox's Rainbow Party. [Variety]
· Either Arrested Development's Jeffrey Tambor or MPAA head Dan Glickman has been cast in the NBC comedy pilot Twenty Good Years. [THR]
· Warner Bros. casts Mandy Moore and Robin Williams in the romantic comedy License to Wed, but you can swallow down the bile rising in your throat—The Office's John Krasinski is in talks to play the love interest, sparing us all the thought of Moore and Williams making out. [Variety]
· With American Idol giving up Thursdays after it downshifted to just two episodes a week, CSI gets back to the business of kicking in the teeth all other shows daring to broadcast on its night. [THR]
· Yeah, we mentioned this at the end of the day yesterday, but Warner Bros. announced that at least 20 minutes of
Superman Returns will be converted into IMAX 3-D, allowing fans to believe that various super-appendages might break free of the giant movie screen and slam them in the face. [Variety]

12:14 PM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Mark
204 views, Comment

Sharon Stone

'Basic Instinct 2' Bad Review Round-Up

In honor of Sharon Stone's courageous contribution to the pantheon of ridiculously bad movies gay men will quote frequently, we offer a round-up of today's scathing Basic Instinct 2 reviews : More »

11:47 AM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Seth
1,539 views, 1 comment

Anthony Pellicano

Bert Fields May Be Losing Some Scary Hollywood Lawyer Friends

Two big-shot attorneys from Scary Hollywood Lawyer Bert Fields' firm might be stuffing seven of their colleagues into a cardboard box and slipping out to start a new, less suspicion-riddled practice, reports today's LAT. But just because the timing makes them seem like they're trying to sneak away before a much-rumored indictment of firm partner Fields can be handed down in connection with the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century doesn't mean they think anything bad is going to happen to their soon-to-be ex-colleagues. Says the Times: More »

11:15 AM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Mark
289 views, 1 comment

Latest by Picka Little, Talka Little: These attorneys seem to be talking out of both sides of their mouths. When a firm is in trouble, more »

tori-cigarette.gif Tori Spelling

Tori Spelling Makes Humiliation Hilarious

As if being magically held afloat by her most recent surgical enhancements, nothing seems to bring Hollywood's favorite daddy's girl Tori Spelling down. With her new self-mocking series so noTORIous premiering this Sunday on VH1, today's LAT profiles the much maligned actress, with her showrunners practically falling all over themselves heaping their star with praise: More »

10:34 AM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Seth
133 views, 2 comments

Latest by Trixie from Toronto: Tori needs to look on the bright side. Compared to, say, Celine Dion, she's sort of non-offensive looking. more »

Ted Casablanca

The Blind Item Guessing Game: In Through The Out Door

Wherein we invite our readers to allow humpy E! gossip-alchemist Ted Casablanca to transform their leaden minds into gold by puzzling over the identity of his weekly blind item. This week, Ted strays from the "straight actor is secretly gay" dirt, but still manages to squeeze in some anal sex. Flip over for One Tuchis-Time Blind Vice: More »

10:26 AM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Mark
136 views, 2 comments

Latest by MrRewrite: hello? is this about mansex, anal sex, or both? i'm lost. Ted needs to get laid so he doesn't worry more »

clooney-ford.jpg George Clooney

Clooney Stalks Gawker, Ford Takes On Internets

It's a sad Friday around the celebrity-obsessed ghettos of the internet, as two of Hollywood's finest actors have launched a jihad against the online world. Today's Page Six reports that George Clooney (i.e. his angry publicist) has hatched a master plan to neutralize sister site Gawker's newly Google Map-enhanced Stalker feature (PrivacyWatch, we assure you, will remain untainted, since we assume that a good 40 percent of it is submitted by sneaky PR staffers anyway) by flooding it with fake sightings, a plan Clooney's evil spokesman has shared with his flacky peers: More »

10:07 AM on Fri Mar 31 2006
By Mark
453 views, 3 comments

Latest by Dorothy: clooney is secretly engaged more »

naomi campbell - Defamer Short Ends

Short Ends: Did Naomi Campbell Do Something Bad Today?

· We're guessing that Naomi Campbell is going to get the typical slap on the wrist for her misbehavior, probably nothing more severe than a "The More You Know" PSA on NBC informing the public that no matter how much you think your housekeeper's asking for it, going upside her head with a telephone is a bad idea.
· No one, no matter how hardcore a Samuel L Jackson fan, should recommend that you take snakes on an actual plane. But if you're thinking about it, at least inquire about the reptile transport policy of your preferred carrier ahead of time.
· We will not even attempt to explain why you need to watch this video. The reason will become apparent about five seconds in.
· The Superbulge will not only be available in 3D, it will be a hundred feet wide. Be very afraid

6:02 PM on Thu Mar 30 2006
By Mark
72 views, 2 comments

Latest by Picka Little, Talka Little: Too bad Naomi can't hook up with Russell Crowe. They both have such an art with telephones. more »

Sharon Stone

Still More Discussion Of Sharon Stone's Naked Body

With writers devoting so many column inches to chronicling Sharon Stone's triumphant, middle-age-be-damned return to full-frontal nudity in Basic Instinct 2, it's important that we don't forget the infamous scene that made her a star, back when the sight of the actress vigorously bouncing on top of a co-star as if her career depended on it excited rather than vaguely depressed us. Even 14 years later, Stone seems like she still hasn't made peace with her greatest contribution to cinema: More »

5:31 PM on Thu Mar 30 2006
By Mark
5,193 views, 2 comments

Latest by SecureLocation: I was suprised to see the stills from Basic II showing a relatively youthful looking Stone. I saw a preview more »

20050903elpepicul_2_I_SCO.jpg Brokeback Mountain

Gay Cowboy Cruise Lines To Skip Bahamas This Year

It may be better in the Bahamas, but not if you happen to be a budding island homosexual looking to spend a few hours in a darkened theater, enthralled in a tale of forbidden cowboy love. A Bahamian government decency board has chosen to ban Brokeback Mountain:
More »

4:45 PM on Thu Mar 30 2006
By Seth
499 views, 4 comments

Latest by el smrtmnky: i just love that the ad for BBM on dvd is next to this posting and the snarky commentary. i heart more »

lacma - Defamer To Do

To Do: LACMA, Famous, Tribe

· LACMA celebrates its 40th anniversary by throwing a huge party—a bash, if you will—that's going all night, with a variety of DJs, music, and a couple of film screenings—including Crash, but you should be able to avoid seeing it without too much problem.
· Some Thursday night music: John Doe presents Howe Gelb at Largo; The Slow Signal Fade at The Troubadour; Deadboy and the Elephantmen at Spaceland; Controlling the Famous at Knitting Factory.
· Director Tiffany Shlain premieres her short film, The Tribe ("An unorthodox, unauthorized history of the Jewish people and the Barbie doll...in about 15 minutes") at the Egyptian, with the obligatory hott Q&A action after the screening.

4:03 PM on Thu Mar 30 2006
By Mark
135 views, Comment

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