Defamer

brokemac.jpg Short Ends

Short Ends: Finally, A Geek-Positive Brokeback Parody

· We keep saying that we're not going to laugh at any more Brokeback parodies, and we're made liars again and again. Prepare yourselves for Broke Mac Mountain, geeks. [via Towleroad]
· A little time at the tattoo parlor might cut down on some paparazzi attacks, if you choose the right ink.
· This is easily the best blog post comparing Crash and a straight-to-video volleyball movie we've ever read.
· Oscar trivia: Did you know that George Clooney is the first person to ever be nominated as a director while being recognized for an acting role in a different film in the same year? Now you do!
· A Munich videogame ain't that bad of an idea.
· The Random Celebrity Gossip Generator coughed up a good one: Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized in Londan after cutting her leg at Bryan Adams' home.

6:14 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
116 views, 1 comment

Latest by tazeeyore: Cloud9 looks like it might be pretty funny. Why would they not release it to local theaters? With all of more »

lawandordervalentines.jpg Nbc

Love & Order


With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, you can either purchase a heart-shaped Whitman's sampler and plop chocolate after chocolate into your face in a bitter party-of-one feeding frenzy, or do what we do: Give yourself over to romance! And what better way to accomplish this than by sending out these Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit-themed cards ($10 for the whole set) to the many objects of your affection. Yes, they might be mildly put off when they tear open the envelope and first catch a glimpse of the stars of the sex crime-specific detective series staring back out at them, but in the end, who could deny Richard Belzer's adorable mug, especially when paired with his playful salutation: "HEY CUTIE!" More »

5:25 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Seth
612 views, Comment

oscar-transport.jpg Paramount

Oscars Cruise Up Gower


A reader driving up Gower Street this afternoon snapped these pics (he even apologized for the dirty windows) of a truck carrying what he believes to be giant Oscar statues from storage on the Paramount lot to some destination elsewhere in Hollywood. We hope that he's correct about the statues, as one of our operatives was nervous that some of the inevitable layoffs from the DreamWorks acquisition might be beginning very soon, and we can't bear to think that Brad Grey quietly ordered some redundant employees bronzed, covered in plastic, and shipped out on the flatbeds of pick-up trucks. More »

5:13 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
82 views, 1 comment

Latest by Double Banger: Actually, the two figures are Dennis Quaid and Gwyneth Paltrow, encased in carbonite. They are being driven away from more »

Oscars

Oscars Nominees Still Reacting

USA Today and Variety have amassed the definitive surveys of today's Oscar nominee reactions, with most of the responses falling into one or more of the following categories: "I never expected it," "I feel like a kid again," "I will be celebrating with/without alcohol," "My [insert occupation here] called to tell me the news," "I'm thrilled my co-workers got one too," and, finally, its remorseful companion, "I'm disappointed my co-star was left out." More »

4:38 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Seth
197 views, 5 comments

Latest by Gallant Patsy: I agree Paula - loved Jarhead. And Jake & Peter Sarsgaard are a much cuter couple. The branding, the more »

the-like.jpg To Do

To Do: Like, Misery, Art

· Oscar Nomination Night music round-up: The Like at Cinespace; She Wants Revenge, whose big song is free on the radio every five minutes or so, gives away more for free at Amoeba; and if The Like didn't meet your girl-rock quota, Tegan and Sara are at the Wiltern LG with Cake.
· Spin magazine's Andy Greenwald reads from his novel Miss Misery, in which a blogger's fictional alter ego becomes flesh and runs amok on the Lower East Side, at Book Soup.
· Former Paper magazine art critic John Carlin meets Art Spiegelman, one of the world’s best-known graphic artists, at the Hammer for a conversation about…art stuff, we suppose. But we bet they'll be happy to discuss any Oscar snubs as well.

3:52 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
75 views, Comment

oscar-nightmare.jpg Oscars

The Nightmare Nominations


Getting up before 6:00 AM to watch the Oscar nominations is a stunt that can easily cripple the sleep-deprived mind. Moments after we'd flipped on the announcement coverage, we drifted into that hazy place between sleep and wakefulness, and we could've sworn we saw forked tongues ablaze with hellflame flick from the mouths of Mira Sorvino and Academy president Sid Ganis as they announced each name from the Best Picture Hopeful List of the Damned: Must Love Dogs...Crash...Guess Who...Crash...and Stealth. Even in the fog of semi-consciousness, we found it odd that Crash could be nominated twice in the same category, but quickly wrote off the mild cognitive dissonance to the fact that if the Academy could be so wrong about the movie, they could easily have awarded it the unprecedented double-nod. After what seemed like hours, we snapped awake. The real Crash nightmare, we soon discovered, will be about five weeks long. More »

2:25 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
89 views, Comment

charlize-theron-bangs.jpg Sightings

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: The Oscar-Nominated Charlize Theron Eats Sushi

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put “sighting” or “PrivacyWatch” in the subject line) and let the world know that you've seen Kiefer Sutherland getting his car washed. More »

1:49 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
4,213 views, Comment

gay-famous.jpg Oscars

Venn Diagram Oscar Predictions


Encyclopdia Hanasiana's graphic work has wrapped up the Oscars' acting race as neatly as anything we've seen. Venn diagrams don't lie; given Philip Seymour Hoffman's savvy choice to set himself apart from the Gay and Famous-playing throngs by straddling both groups, he's a lock to take home the award. More »

1:31 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
386 views, 4 comments

Latest by el smrtmnky: i think the jury is still out on ms. lee's orientation, but she is unmarried, in her late 80s and more »

britneywillgrace.jpg Will & Grace

Will & Grace & Britney

In an inspired pairing of two perpetually annoying things that seemingly refuse to go away, Britney Spears will be making her scripted, primetime TV debut on an upcoming episode of Will & Grace, following in the illustrious footsteps of such gay pop icons as Madonna and Janet Jackson, who also used the series to showcase their complete lack of comic timing: More »

1:12 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Seth
585 views, 5 comments

Latest by Gavrilo: At least she can't make the show any less funny. Triumph of the Will & Grace would have more laughs. more »

Agents

The Agent Dance: ICM Denies Endeavor Rumor

On Thursday, it seemed like everyone in town was hearing that ICM had a deal in place to acquire Endeavor. Since then, though, things have been quieter than the moment between someone at an agency staff meeting declaring, "You know who I think is finally going to be a big, big star? Paul Walker!" and the ensuing waves of laughter breaking the uncomfortable silence once everyone realizes they have a first-rate jokester in their midst. We've still seen or heard no official shooting-down of the rumored deal, but this interoffice denial from ICM chairman Jeff Berg seems to have "leaked" from within the agency's walls and into a number of industry inboxes: More »

12:21 PM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
1,567 views, Comment

halle.jpg Halle Berry

The New Sex Addict In Halle Berry's Life

We must admit, even since Halle Berry showed up at last year's Razzies to collect her worst actress award for Catwoman, she's occupied a place in the empty cavity where our hearts should be. So when we heard she had hitched her love train to the caboose of male model du moment Gabriel Aubry, we had mixed feelings: Were we glad she had finally moved past her two-timing, "sex addict" ex-husband Eric Benet? Of course. But should she have fallen for South Beach's sweetest, chewiest piece of gummy-boy man-candy? According to Page Six, probably not: More »

11:53 AM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Seth
2,253 views, 1 comment

Latest by MonkeyinDiapers: mmmm nice choice Halle's 30 year old French-Canadian beauty. You go girl! http://www.mostbeautifulman.com/misc/gabrielaubry/index.sh... more »

Trade Roundup

Trade Round-Up: Cruise Finds A New Love Story

· Oscar noms: Var notes that this morning, the "The biggest surprise is the lack of surprises." THR calls Brokeback "king of the rodeo." We thank them for resisting the temptation to go with "chaps-wearing queen of the gay rodeo." [Variety, THR]
· Hollywood Is Out Of Ideas, Even On The Internet Edition: AOL and Yahoo race to air treasure-themed web series, even as NBC is set to air Imagine produced Treasure Hunters this summer. [Variety]
· Oscar nominee-related news! Just-recognized Good Night, and Good Luck star David Strathairn will join Anthony Hopkins and Ryan Gosling in the Castle Rock thriller Fracture. [THR]
· Razzie nominee-related news! Paramount buys a top-secret "untitled contemporary love story pitch" for obscure actor Tom Cruise. Our best guess as to the logline: "A man and his fiancee unexpectedly find themselves entangled in a love triangle with the turkey-baster-like apparatus secretly used to inseminate her." [Variety]
· We told you the birth of The CW wouldn't be all smiles, laughter, and birthday parties with clowns and a petting zoo: The previously picked up WB drama pilot Cult will not be making the trip to the new network. [THR].
· He's your favorite, stuttering-but-still-charming rake! She's your beloved, braless love interest! Together, Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore are the musically collaborating lovers in Warner Bros.' Music and Lyrics By. [Variety]

10:39 AM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
169 views, 3 comments

Latest by sorbet: You know, he could have used a turkey baster. If he's so gung-ho about doing his own sonograms, who's to say more »

newsweek-oscars.jpg Oscars

Inside The Oscar Nominations: 'The Facts Of Life' Factor

Newsweek correctly guessed the five Oscar nominees (or beat an independent auditor from PricewaterhouseCoopers until he gave up the names) for Best Director, then assembled Ang Lee, Steven Spielberg, George Clooney, Bennett Miller, and Paul Haggis for a roundtable discussion. In the ensuing pigpile of comraderie and mutual admiration (they actually managed to answer some questions in between loving, Oh, you scamp! shoulder-punches and hair-musses), we're reminded of Haggis and Clooney's shared, shadowy past in—gasp!—80s sitcoms. More »

10:27 AM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
1,942 views, 3 comments

Latest by raincoaster: Did Haggis' daughter really steal a hearse? Kewl. more »

terrencehoward.jpg Oscars

Oscars 2006: The Nominees React

Not seconds after the Oscar nominees' names escaped Mira Sorvino's quivering lips at dawn (we dutifully woke ourselves up at 5:15 to catch the live announcement, then promptly fell back asleep at 5:28 on the couch and missed the entire thing), Hollywood was feeling the shockwaves: George Lucas stared bitterly at the People's Choice Award on his nightstand, pondering how the culmination of a thirty year career managed to bring in a single nod for Best Makeup; Beyonce Knowles immediately shut her eyes, pressed a finger to one ear, and started practicing the vocal hook to Best Song nominee "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp"; and Matt Dillon, presciently booked to appear on the Today Show this morning, approached Katie Couric at the danish table during a commercial break, and playfully asked if the anchor had ever "done it with an Oscar nominee?" followed by, "No, seriously. Wanna?" More »

10:25 AM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Seth
94 views, 5 comments

Latest by Trixie from Toronto: I saw that. It only makes me love Ennis more. "I'm a little teapot, short and stout ... here is more »

jon-stewart-oscar-s.jpg Oscars

Here Come The Oscar Nominations

Welcome to the most important morning of the year, when Oscar emerges from his gilded awards-hole, announces who's naughty and nice, leaves some nominations under a nearby tree, and, finally sated from a milk-and-cookies breakfast and scared by his phallic shadow, retreats back into darkness, signalling that we're going to have five more weeks of overheated, hyperobsessive speculation about who will eventually take home some little statues. (It may appear we're a little mixed up, but a day this hallowed requires conflated mythologies.) Without further ado: More »

7:19 AM on Tue Jan 31 2006
By Mark
357 views, 12 comments

Latest by sorbet: I'm afraid "Capote" will be swept under the rug by the saddle slickers. The Academy may give the nod to more »

jake-heath-hip.jpg Short Ends

Short Ends: Heath's Ready For His Oscar Nom

· "Now you listen here, Jakey. This might seem all silly-goose to you, Mr. Serious Actor Man, but I'm milking this thing until the Oscar nominations are out, OK? Now if you don't want to wind up snubbed, put your hand on your goddamn hip and play along!"
· Blogger Tony Pierce figures out where Heather Graham moved her birthday party (The Short Stop—nice choice) after snubbing Akbar.
· Just like in her acting career, Jessica Alba's incredible good looks obviously played no part in her success in this poll.
· Gallery of the Absurd never fails to horrify us with its artwork. Today, Britney Spears and Cheetos team up to chill us to the bone.
· A Craigslister in NY is less than thrilled with the medical accuracy of last night's Grey's Anatomy. Seriously, though: The flesh-eating bacteria? That's been around long enough to been recycled through ER three or four times, hasn't it?

6:45 PM on Mon Jan 30 2006
By Mark
79 views, 3 comments

Latest by GodWarrior: SAG = Sans Any Grace more »

idolfox.jpg American Idol

American Idol Owns Your Teenage Daughter

The NY Times struggles to find the words to capture just what kind of Nielsen behemoth American Idol has become in this, its fifth season on the air. The lowbrow singing contest is racking up ratings so impossibly high, the only explanation is that not only is every family in the country watching the show, but that they must be birthing additional viewers during the airings, instantly propping up the placenta-covered newbies so as not to miss the humiliation of a single warbling, effeminate Midwesterner by the show's panel of obliged, apathetic judges. To give some indication of just how many people are watching, consider the numbers among arguably the show's bread and butter demographic, teenage girls: More »

6:43 PM on Mon Jan 30 2006
By Seth
94 views, Comment

jenna-elfman2.jpg TV shows

Jenna Elfman Can Do It All!

We thought we were joylessly slogging through yet another "Are you (or is your current character) exactly like/nothing like you (or your last character)?" story, this time about Jenna Elfman and her new sitcom, Courting Alex, when we came across this passage about Elfman's level of involvement in the project: More »

4:44 PM on Mon Jan 30 2006
By Mark
212 views, 8 comments

Latest by Sleepyhead: What, do I need to show you guys an actual freakin' videotape of Xenu dropping all those souls into the more »

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