Defamer

brad-angelina-burn.jpg Movies

Burn Hollywood Burn: 'Mr. And Mrs Smith' Is Too Hot!


Burning down a deserted building in the name of movie promotion seems like an extreme stunt, even by Hollywood standards, but tossing all of those homeless people wearing flame-licked "Mr. and Mrs. Smith Drops June 10th!" t-shirts off the roof was really overkill. More »

5:40 PM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
46 views

brooke-shields-baby.jpg Diary

Short Ends: Brooke Shields Takes No Guff From Cruise

· At the KROQ Weenie Roast, comedian Brody Stevens catches Pat O'Brien—listening to music and putting on a sweater!
· If you bonged your way through this television season's final episodes, SMRT-TV's got your short-term memory's back with their handy chart of cliffhangers. Hold on, someone died on Desperate Housewives? That must've been awesome.
· Brooke Shields to Tom Cruise: I don't come down to your job and slap the e-meter out of your mouth, so why you gotta hate? Also: Someone we've never heard of uses her "female intuition" to surmise that some "very damaging information" about Cruise might be surfacing soon.
· ABC expects to sell over $2 billion in upfront ads; NBC's Jeff Zucker will reveal tomorrow that he traded 30 seconds of commercial time during Joey for a handjob that was like "pulling weeds."

5:00 PM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
78 views

wine-glass.jpg Diary

To Do: Dancing About Architecture, Swilling Wine, Hearing Music

· Daniel Libeskind, big-shot architect and designer of the new World Trade Center complex, will chat about his work, his life, and, perhaps, his favorite Prince album (anything can happen at these things) at the Disney Concert Hall downtown. It's not cheap (tickets are $45-$90), but chances are if you're the type to attend an architecture chat, you've got the funds.
· By now the entire wine industry is tired of all the Sideways jokes (if not the increased sales), so if you check out tonight's Tuesday Tasting Series at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica, please, none of that "I'm not drinking any fucking merlot!" stuff. Oh, who are we kidding? You're going to do it anyway.
· Music happens: The Headphones (featuring Dave Bazan of the better-known Pedro the Lion—better known to us, anyway) at the Troubadour; PINE*am (pretentious asterisk theirs) at Amoeba (for free, naturally); Radio Vago at Spaceland.

4:30 PM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
36 views

lohan-gps-beforeafter.jpg Gossip

Lindsay Lohan's Breasts: An Expert Weighs In

The Truth in Cosmetic Surgery Blog, run by a Real Plastic Surgeon, may help put an end to one of the internet's favorite party games: speculating about the vacillations in Lindsay Lohan's bra size: More »

3:38 PM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
14,163 views

Microphone-related visual pun Casting

Casting Deep Throat


When a major news story breaks, we often like to cast the topical movie that will certainly be rushed into production. Producers: If you can't get through to Kevin Spacey's people right away, be patient. Those five minutes you spend listening to the Beyond the Sea soundtrack while on hold will be worth it. More »

3:11 PM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
258 views

beard.jpg Culture

Defamer Employment: Beard Wanted

It took us nearly five hours of non-stop, professional grade web-surfing (read: a reader submitted it) to finally find post material that has absolutely, positively no connection to Tom Cruise, but ask and Craigslist shall provide: More »

2:02 PM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
170 views

tom-cruise-MI.jpg Gossip

HuffPost: Paramount To Nix M:13?

Our Huffington Post bookmark has atrophied beyond repair over the last couple of weeks, but a reader with a higher tolerance than ours for Arianna Huffington's online cocktail party points out this Cruise-related HuffPo exclusive from last night: More »

1:11 PM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
139 views

lohan-blonde-skinny.jpg Culture

The Spider Club: Celebrity Menagerie

While the unwashed masses piled into automobiles and legroom-bereft economy airline seats to escape our fair city for the holiday weekend, the industry's distressingly thin stall-monkeys, untalented, less attractive younger sisters, and semifamous, vaguely ethnic television gardeners assembled at the usual spot for the usual night of unremarkable fame-related stuff: More »

12:03 PM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
240 views

Business

Trade Round-Up: Moonves To Smite Uppity 'Joan' Fans

· Return of the Sith continues to dominate overseas box office with a cumulative take of $246 million, largely due to George Lucas' controversial decision to export the movie exclusively in an Aramaic version. [Variety]
· Fans of Joan of Arcadia plead with an uncaring God (i.e., Les Moonves) to reverse the show's cancellation. Moonves bellows with laughter, then smites the Joan boosters' village with a tidal wave. [THR]
· Hot off roles in this weekend's $60 million earners The Longest Yard and Madagascar, Chris Rock announces he'll write, co-produce and star in The Gilmores of Beverly Hills, with buddy Adam Sandler's Happy Madison producing. Nota bene: Rock's last two movies were Head of State and Bad Company. [Variety]
· Does the last Star Wars mark the end of the "superfan"? Star Wars nerds, Trekkies, Deadheads, and Phish fans will soon gather for some chaste consideration of their plight while tripping face in a convention center parking lot. [THR]
· "I don't care what it costs, get me Denzel! Oh, we already had Denzel? Get me Cheadle. At a price." Universal wants Don Cheadle to replace the once-attached Denzel Washington for the starring role in the perpetually troubled American Gangster project. [Variety]

11:19 AM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
47 views

holmes-cruise-ear2.jpg Gossip

Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Take The Next, Carefully-Orchestrated Step?


"Look, we both know that no one's buying into our relationship. Oprah was a fucking disaster. Would it have been so hard for you to come on stage without me putting you in a half-nelson and marching you on stage like you were about to face a firing squad? Well, now we're both fucked. I'm invoking the emergency clause, and as you're well aware, you're contractually obligated to go along with me as we step it up another notch. Yes, moving in together. Yes, engagement. And yes, Scientology. All of it. And I'll set you up with some bigger people at CAA, but first you've got to show a little enthusiasm, OK? I don't like all this making out stuff any more than you do, but you've gotta lose the condom on your tongue. Sooner or later, some paparazzi's gonna catch that on film, it's gonna wind up on the internet, and then we're gonna need to have that little scuba-diving accident we talked about. Oh, for L.Ron's sake! I hate thinly-veiled death threats. I have to get back to the Centre and knock out some Thetans. And yes, you're coming with me." More »

10:33 AM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
377 views

stone-slater.jpg Gossip

Hollywood Police Blotter: Stone Drivin' And Cryin', Slater Grab-Assin'

He's an Oscar-winning director whose mega-budget historical epic flopped, and now recently popped in Beverly Hills for a DUI and drug possession. More »

9:43 AM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
211 views

paris-paris-engaged.jpg Gossip

Paris Pledges Eternal Love To Paris


The world has now been made aware that Paris Hilton, the closest thing we'll ever see to a being made of pure, uncut fame, is engaged to Greek shipping heir and Hilton self-love franchisee Paris Latsis. And you know what? More »

9:07 AM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
174 views

hayden-anakin.jpg Box Office

Monday Morning Box Office: Tuesday Morning Edition

There is only one thing worse than Monday morning—the Tuesday morning following a three-day weekend. Apply the poultice of the box office numbers to your throbbing temples and know that Saturday inches ever closer. More »

8:18 AM on Tue May 31 2005
By Mark
53 views

war-vs-lron.jpg Movies

War Of The Worlds Vs. L.Ron's Bad Fiction


We've heard that Tom Cruise is a very hands-on star and producer, but does he really need to bother with things like one-sheet design?
More »

2:01 PM on Fri May 27 2005
By Mark
134 views

michael-lohan.jpg Gossip

Lindsay Lohan's Daddy Issues Grow More Complicated

Lindsay Lohan's father was sentenced to prison today in New York, receiving 1 1/3 to 4 years for a medley of crimes, including the highly entertaining (though, sadly, highly illegal) footwear-based assault of his brother-in-law. Lohan's publicist is secretly thrilled, knowing that she can now abandon her usual arsenal of fake illness-based excuses for the actress's antics in favor of ones rooted in the stresses of having her father in jail.

1:40 PM on Fri May 27 2005
By Mark
600 views

Diary

Advertisers Hug Kittens, Never Drown Them

Join us in clinching this week's sponsors with a grateful, one-arm man-hug, for they are like the rainbows that we spend all day trying to capture in a marmalade jar. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and make your product or service the sexiest strumpet in the brothel, see this page. More »

12:56 PM on Fri May 27 2005
By Mark
40 views

Box Office

The Projectionist: Memorial Day Box Office Orgy Edition

hayden-anakin.jpgWhy barbecue when you can fill Hollywood's pockets with your disposable income? More »
Business

Trade Round-Up: Catching Up With The Weinsteins

· The Weinsteins will snatch Miramax distribution head Mike Rudnitsky for their new empire when they leave in late September, but in the meantime, they'll help usher nine of their old Miramax and Dimension babies into the world in Auguest and September. [Variety]
· Theaters owners resist billionaire Mark Cuban's "ass-backwards" plans to release films in theaters, home video, and on cable simultaneously, threatening not to show his movies in their venues. In turn, Cuban threatens to destroy their cineplexes with a satellite-mounted death-ray. [THR]
· More sweeps ratings postmortem: ABC, CBS, Fox, and UPN were all up over last year, the WB was down a bit, and NBC...well, we think Jeff Zucker's ratings bitch-hood has been well-established by now. [Variety]
· Carmen Electra continues to get acting work, while thousands of other, equally qualified dancers with fake tits continue to work the pole. [THR]
· We somehow missed this yesterday, but allow us to update the record to reflect that Meathead has dumped William Morris for CAA. [Variety]

11:25 AM on Fri May 27 2005
By Mark
52 views

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