Defamer

vincent-price.jpg Diary

To Do: Fight, Price, Pedro

· Everybody loves to watch people beating the shit out of each other on Hollywood Blvd, but tonight you have the opportunity to see it happen in a boxing ring instead of outside of Star Shoes. The officially-sanctioned display of fisticuffsmanship starts at 7 pm at the Henry Fonda.
· All of this death talk probably has you in the mood for a Vincent Price double feature, doesn't it? You're in luck, because the Aero is showing a double-dip of The Tingler and House on Haunted Hill tonight. Ghoul.
· Three shows, one night: Pedro the Lion and Low at the El Rey; Run Run Run and Dear Leader play the
Troubadour; Ozomatli makes sweet love to Spaceland.

3:13 PM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
117 views

Gossip

Where's Ted?

Many of you have expressed disappointment that there was no Blind Item Guessing Game today. We apologize for today's blind-item-free buzzkill, but we were forced to skip it this week because of a server crash this morning and an e-mail crash early in the afternoon. (For those of you without the luxury of the "virtual office" we enjoy, a rough analogue would be your cubicle collapsing, leaving you buried alive under an avalanche of Beanie Babies for hours.) Instead, let's all take a moment from our busy days to meditate on this marvel of linguistic invention pulled from today's Ted Casablanca blind item: More »

2:57 PM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
65 views

scott-savol.jpg TV

Fox's Reality Show Background Check Scores Another Winner


In another triumph by Fox's vaunted background-check department, The Smoking Gun has discovered that American Idol contestant Scott Savol has a domestic violence complaint in his past for shoving the mother of his child and throwing a phone at her (did she incorrectly text a vote for Anthony Fedorov?). We shouldn't be so hard on Fox—at least their screening procedure still keeps the gays from advancing, right?

2:04 PM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
257 views

nicole-kidman-bleach.jpg Gossip

Nicole Kidman: Interpreter Of (Skin) Maladies

Oh, how we love the crumpet-flavored dirt proffered by Popbitch! More »
mitch-hedberg2.jpg Gossip

Mitch Hedberg Obits Arrive

If Mitch Hedberg's tragic death is indeed an April Fool's Day prank (as we've heard suggested several times on the internets), the jokesters have pretty thoroughly punked the media. Obits have finally started to appear online, like this one in the Pioneer Press from Hedberg's hometown of St.Paul, which realizes every comedian's worst posthumous fear: a newspaper reporter trying to explain their comedy. More »

12:48 PM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
258 views

fox-boot-2.jpg Business

Breaking! Another Boot Found On Fox Lot!


The terror that had gripped the Fox lot during the height of the "Fox Leg" mystery hasn't yet subsided. An operative fears that yet another boot-related incident may again trouble Rupert Murdoch's already worried minions: "I found this boot on the Fox lot next to the old NYPD Blue Stages this morning. Considering recent events surrounding boots and the Fox lot, I'm a bit concerned for my well-being. I didn't see a severed leg in this one, but I'm on the look-out." More »

12:38 PM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
109 views

suvari-headline.jpg Culture

Great Moments In Career Suicide, Vol. II


Granted, this isn't as spectacular a self-immolation as Jessica Alba's declaration that she was "done sleeping around in Hollywood." But we expect Suvari's addled publicist to go into a similar spin mode, declaring that Mena meant that she'd never go smaller than a double-D, if that's what it takes to please a producer.

10:42 AM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
69 views

ted-koppel.jpg Business

Trade Round-Up: Koppel To Pass Along Hair-Crown In December

· Ted Koppel quits Nightline...in December. Can't anyone quit the old-fashioned way, where they storm off the set in an expletive-laden huff, punching their executive producer in the jaw? People have no sense of what makes a good story these days. We blame the bloggers. [Variety, THR]
· Paramount shocker! Chairman Brad Grey thinks newly-minted president Gail Berman will do a bang-up job in her new position! [THR]
· "'I recognize that there is skepticism about my background so I come into this with a great deal of humility,' Berman told Daily Variety. 'The bottom line is going to be fostering an environment where creative ideas will transfer into great films.'" Translation: "Fuck all y'all. I am going to crack some fucking skulls the second I step on the lot, and you can't stop me." [Variety]
· The European Commission has approved MGM's sale to Sony. Let the layoffs and the multimillion-dollar severance packages commence. [Variety]
· Tiny, bajillionaire DreamWorks Animation despot Jeffrey Katzenberg assures his company's investors that flooding theaters with eight Shrek sequels a year won't oversaturate the market. As he's prroven over and over again, the public's thirst for green ogre cock is completely unquenchable. [THR]

10:07 AM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
53 views

paris-hilton-toking-s.jpg Gossip

Paris Hilton: Bathroom Stall Etiquette Edition

This Page Six report about Paris Hilton and Kimberly Stewart's adventures at a local club allows us to revisit some of the rules of Hollywood bathroom etiquette: More »

9:16 AM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
1,329 views

mitch-hedberg.jpg Gossip

Mitch Hedberg Is Dead

Yes, unfortunately, at least one part of the rumor is true—comedian Mitch Hedberg died on Tuesday. We received confirmation from several sources since late last night, and Howard Stern talked about it on the radio this morning as well (there's some info on his website). The other part of the rumor, that Hedberg overdosed, is still unconfirmed. More »

7:31 AM on Thu Mar 31 2005
By Mark
356 views

paris-glasses.jpg Diary

Short Ends: WWPHC? (What Would Paris Hilton Charge?)

· What's Paris Hilton's time potentially worth? $250,000 an hour, but this is according to a crazy pimp in Bellevue and it's only if she's on her back or assuming the doggystyle position. Fascinating. Who knew she could be such an earner?
· HBO enables a third season of Old West fuckin' and cocksuckerin' by picking up more Deadwood.
· Super Mario delivered a petition to honorary Hollywood mayor Johnny Grant to include video game characters on the Walk of Fame. After he handed over the petition, he joined the other people in cheap movie costumes in front of the Chinese Theater for a lively session of hitting the crackpipe.
· Reason number 24 why you should love that Burger King commercial with Hootie: "The Twin Black Cowboys. They are obviously exhausted from banging all the chicks at The Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch, so now they just want to lay down and have a snack."

3:28 PM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
167 views

jkeith.jpg Diary

To Do: Fair, Line, Movies

· You'll never hear the Grey Album the same way again after you check out the "Fair Use" exhibition at the Hammer. You might think that mash-up is merely "bitchin,'" but you'll learn that it's actually turning "the tools and products of information distribution against itself."
· Untelevised television host J. Keith van Straaten once again brings his live interpretation of "What's My Line" to the Acme Theatre on La Brea. This week's panelists include John Waters staple Mink Stole, Who's Line stalwart Brad Sherwood, and some hot chick that used to be a writer on Win Ben Stein's Money. And, of course, the obligatory mystery guest.
· Not actually a midnight screening: KCRW sponsors a 10th Anniversary show at Spaceland, starring Midnight Movies and On the Speakers.

2:48 PM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
34 views

britney-stream.jpg Gossip

Britney Spears' Media Criticism Of Truth

Apparently flush with hormones from her rumored pregnancy, Britney Spears once again has found the inspiration to post another Missive of Truth on her website. This time, she dabbles in media criticism, urging the celebrity journalism industry to indulge in the kind of introspection that has made her one of her generation's most influential thinkers, penning an open letter to "False Tabloids": More »

2:05 PM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
197 views

stacked-recast-sm.jpg TV

'Stacked' Loses A Friendster


Tom "Don't Call Me Thomas" Everett Scott got dumped from the upcoming Pamela Anderson sitcom Stacked over the weekend, and his part was immediately recast with Elon "Who?" Gold. As of last night Scott hadn't been removed from Stacked Friendster page, but they finally de-Friendstered him today and again replaced him with Gold. Despite all the turmoil, one thing remains unchanged: We have absolutely no interest in watching Stacked, no matter how big Pamela Anderson's tits are. More »

12:58 PM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
108 views

shall-we-dance.jpg Movies

Richard Gere Humiliates Japan


"Look, Prime Minister, I know that this probably violates all kinds of cultural norms that may cause you to lose respect among your peers in the government, but do you mind if I lead? The Dalai Lama never lets me lead." More »

12:34 PM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
763 views

Business

Brad Grey Finally Makes Gail Berman An Honest Woman

Brad Grey, head of the New Paramount™, has finally and officially announced that he's taking Gail Berman as his studio bride; the couple can now openly skip hand-in-hand around the lot on Melrose, hatching schemes to make their movies better appeal to the MTV demographic so relentlessly served by their corporate masters at Viacom. She's been awarded the title of president, a big improvement over the vaguely scatological "Grey's number two" position that she's had to endure the past week while things were being finalized. Grey's e-mail to his Paramount underlings follows, and we're feeling generous, so we'll spare you a reprint of the press release (you can read the trades for those). There's nothing left to do but watch Grey and Berman high-five each other while wishing a cheery "See you in hell!" to ousted/downgraded president Donald DeLine. More »

12:02 PM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
664 views

tom-hanks2.jpg Diary

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Tom Hanks Dines Out

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let the world know that Tobey Maguire know that it's time to hit the treadmill. More »

11:18 AM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
2,747 views

Business

Trade Round-Up: Will Smith Owns The Winter

· M. Night Shyamalan is close to corralling Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard for the latest foray into his signature brand of Gotcha! cinema, Lady in the Water. Spoiler alert: Paul Giamatti is revealed to be the lady in the final frames. [Variety]
· It's official: Hitch is the winter's box office champion, with Meet the Fockers finishing second. To commemorate the occasion, Will Smith will ceremonially flush Ben Stiller down a giant toilet on the the Hollywood Walk of Fame. [THR]
· Network cockfight! ABC and Fox are planning to pit the Lost and American Idol season finales against each other in a bloody Nielsen deathmatch. [Variety]
· Today's actors being recycled through the magic of pilot season: Wendy Malick, Tom Everett Scott, Rhea Perlman, and Dabney Coleman are cast in pilots. [Variety]
· Chinese star Gong Li is drafted for the usual Hollywood duty as an all-purpose Asian actress in Miami Vice (Chinese/Cuban) and the Hannibal Lecter sequel Behind the Mask (Japanese). [Variety]

10:14 AM on Wed Mar 30 2005
By Mark
101 views

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