Tonight's guest coach on American Idol is Gwen Stefani, who, we anticipate, will come to rue the day she besmirched her resume by joining the same mentoring program that until now has been occupied by plastic-surgery-disaster musical relics like Kenny Rogers, Barry Manilow, and some guy from Herman's Hermits. Our stereo-hogging cousins over at Idolator, however, have found rumors on an American Idol fans' message board suggesting Stefani is already deeply regretting her involvement in the monolithic karoake contest, dreading the thought of one of her beloved No Doubt compositions finding its way onto "Sanjaya's Greatest Butchered Hits."

"Sanjaya Malakar - He wanted to sing "Spoiler". She tried to get him to sing some 80's song. He said he was a big fan and he really wanted to do one of her songs. Gwen was upfront with him and told him she didn't think he could pull it off but gave him the benefit of the doubt. Today after seeing how rehearsals were going, she didnt' see any progress. She went to Nigel immediately and told him she does not want Sanjaya singing one of her songs whatsoever. Sanjaya didn't have many options at that point. He kind of got stuck with "Spoiler". This caused a big scene at the studio and was the talk all afternoon."

To clear up any confusion, while "Spoiler" sounds a lot like a No Doubt song title, it is in fact just a courtesy censoring of the actual, doomed song, rumored by another Idol fan site to be "Bathwater." (Sorry, Fanjayas! You don't fall under the jurisdiction of our "no spoilers" policy.) If the tipoff is true, we can hardly wait to see how Malakar tackles the "Return of Saturn" track, with lyrics like, "Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater/Share a toothbrush..youre my kind of man" sure to take on all new senses of gender-bending artistry as he urgently flips his Farrah-do and spreads a toothy grin for the cameras, as if every gnarled note meant the difference between Idol life or death.

Is Sanjaya's Singing Making Gwen Stefani B-A-N-A-N-A-S? [Idolator]

1:53 PM on Tue Mar 27 2007
By Seth
15,448 views
20 comments

Comments

DirtyPillows at 01:00 PM on 03/27/07
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If you choose to whore yourself out to Idol, then you get what you deserve. I hope Sanjaya has some hirujuku(sp) girls as back-up. And that his hair is pink this week.
Nicolars at 01:09 PM on 03/27/07
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Considering how Gwen completely butchered "It's My Life", getting Sanjaya'ed is poetic justice.
Little Mintz Sunshine at 01:30 PM on 03/27/07
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Connectedness Index: 195

Add a Baby Kingston and he has my vote.
Norma Desmond at 01:38 PM on 03/27/07
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It could be worse. Imagine Taylor Hicks singing "Spiderwebs."
gwendemarco at 01:41 PM on 03/27/07
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Are Gwen songs really singable?
Barry White Stripes,... at 01:43 PM on 03/27/07
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Gwen has gone too far to the dark side. I don't think we can save her...she must be destroyed.
Panqueque at 01:50 PM on 03/27/07
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For reals? "Bathwater"? How very random. Was that a hit? The late 90s are kinda fuzzy for me... those were still my college drinking years (not to be confused with my post-college and post-post-college drinking years).
Anyway, I think "Bathwater" might be a foiler. I bet he was trying to do "Don't Speak."
MisterMuggles at 01:57 PM on 03/27/07
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I was really hoping the San-Man might slightly alter the words to another ND hit and belt out "Just a Shim."
Panqueque at 02:13 PM on 03/27/07
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Excuse me. "Sunday Morning."
ae38 at 02:24 PM on 03/27/07
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Holy Baby Jesus!! This is going to be the best idol ever!!
The Fabulous Thelma Todd at 02:31 PM on 03/27/07
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what's SHE complaining about?? we got stuck hearing that crappy "Hollaback" at every public venue for six months. (One of my co-workers still has it as a ring tone.) She should pay for cruelty alone.
Readsforaliving at 02:32 PM on 03/27/07
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I think Simon's going to have to guzzle from Paula's happy Coke cup to get through this one.
Little Mintz Sunshine at 02:39 PM on 03/27/07
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This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Again this shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Voice of a generation, bitches.
TraderJoesHo at 03:07 PM on 03/27/07
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if i was gwen steffani, i wouldnt want sanjaya to be singing anything of mine either.

on a side note, i hope his hair is not only pink, Tootie, but blown out, and curled at the ends in soft ringletts. and hopefully he can wear tight leather pants and a half unbuttoned linen top.
heidiho at 03:50 PM on 03/27/07
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@Panqueque: For some reason, I swear I remember reading Gwen say that "Sunday Morning" was her favorite No Doubt song. If that's true, I can see why she threw a fit. I wouldn't want Sanjaya butchering my favorite song on national television either.
Desk_hack at 04:35 PM on 03/27/07
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@Little Mintz Sunshine: Screw the Presbs. I'm starting a church around you.
Little Mintz Sunshine at 06:17 PM on 03/27/07
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@Desk_hack: Thanks. Aside from my ultimate career goal of being a benevolent dictator, I think I can fit in diety.
The Gen X Eurotrash... at 06:20 PM on 03/27/07
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Hermann's Hermits > Gwen Stefani

My favorite rumor ever is still the one that Gwen used to be a man.
Her Royal Empress Dr.... at 07:05 PM on 03/27/07
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Oh, she probably got talked into it by Quentin Tarantino.
vee8 at 08:03 PM on 03/27/07
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But really, what's the big deal. It's not like Gwen doesn't butcher her own songs. She's another Sanjaya, selling based on popularity, not vocal ability. How poetic.